I kinda sympathize with the author.
My good (or so I thought) Mormon Returned Missionary fiancee decided that he was gay 6 weeks before the temple wedding after meeting my father (also gay) and his boyfriend.
It was devastating, being lied to, being used that way, (disease wasn’t an issue because we were not having sex) but I still felt violated.
I joke that I joined the most conservative ‘church’ I could find, moved 1000 miles and found some one just like dear old dad.
sad thing was, he didn’t tell his parents for years afterward because his mother kept calling me and my mother and asking me to come back to Utah and marry him. Apparently all he said was that *I* broke up with him, he didn’t say why.
And growing up in Palm Springs (high gay pop) your assessment of them is dead on.
Ma’am, this quite surprises me that you would consider marrying someone and not really have a clue that they were gay. There are always signs.
Honestly, talk to the guys. And listen to them when they say that so and so is gay.
What I have noticed is that many girls like gay guys because of their traits. This is part of the reason that they wind up in this situation in the first place.
“... fiancee decided that he was gay 6 weeks before the temple wedding...”
Take comfort in the fact you found out before marriage and children. When I was a teen, a neighbor lady thought her husband of 15 years was cheating. Well, he was. It just wasn’t with a woman. He left his wife and two daughters for his new boyfriend. The daughters took it especially hard. One girl was just entering the puberty years and became depressed to the point that she needed to go to a psychiatrist. The youngest daughter completely lost her bubbly personality. Both girls grades dropped dramatically. My granny had a saying... “knowing something before you walk down the aisle and before you walk down the aisle are two different things”. Just a thought.
As far as LDS dating there is a famous Brigham Young quote something like: "Any man not married by the age of 22 is a menace to society."