PING to a few FRiends.
With a smile and a wink to Big Idea, Inc. It’s SHOWTIME!
[soothing, vaguely English-sounding announcer]
And now it’s time for “Silly Songs With Barry”, the part of the press briefing where Barry comes out and sings a silly song.
Without further ado, “Silly Songs With Barry”; Barry’s Water Buffalo Song.
[Barry singing to music, sort of]
Everybody oughta have a water buffalo
The White House has one in the front row
Where she came from I don’t know
But I sure love that water buffalo-oh[attempts the octave, falsetto]
That water buffalo got into the press
Opened her mouth and made a big mess
A whole lotta people spoke out in protest
But I still love that — [announcer in background](Stop it, stop!)
[announcer bursts in, frantic. music grinds to halt]
Stop right this instant!
What do you think you’re doing?
You can’t say everybody ought to have a water buffalo
when everybody does not WANT a water buffalo.
We’re going to get nasty letters saying:
“Whaddya mean I’ve gotta have a water buffalo? I don’t need no stinking water buffalo!”
And are you prepared to deal with that?
I don’t think so!
STOP BEING SO SILLY!
[announcer returns to control room, now calm]
This has been “Silly Songs With Barry.” Tune in next time to hear Barry sing:
[Barry sings to music]
O, home on the Range
Where the bigoted buffalo graze
Where never is heard
A responsible word
And the deficit grows every day —
[Barry cuts off. Music continues]
[Barry, aside]
Uh, wait, ah. Just hold on a minute. This, ah, this isn’t the one that, uh, that I picked, is it?
[no response]
[now to audience, attempting a recovery]
You know, ah, you don’t have to, uh, think back very far to notice that I, uh, I actually came, uh, I inherited this mess...including the, ah, the bigot, er the, uh, water buffalo. So I, uh, I actually, uh, none of this is my fault, and I, ah, I’d like to take a few moments to clarify my buffalo stance... [studio fade to silence]