My husband and son have Asperger’s. Agreed that we all have issues. Asperger’s is a neurological disorder of the frontal lobe. In other words, it is a physical impairment that prevents people with the condition from perceiving meaning that most people (neurotypicals) understand without even thinking about it. When my son was being diagnosed, the psychologist asked what he was happy about. Son, “I’m not happy.” Dr, “I see you sparkling eyes, your dimples, your broad smile, and you look happy. Is there something you’re happy about?” Son: “I didn’t know I was smiling.”
She handed him a handout that described what people typically look like when they’re feeling different emotions. My son (16) grabbed it, said, “This is GREAT!” took it home and studied it. My son can’t read people, does not realize what he is feeling, and does not realize how what is saying or doing affect others. It’s a difficult disorder to live with. Divorce rates for Neurotypicals married to Aspies is estimated to be above 80%. And I think that’s low. I don’t have an opinion about the label, but I live with Asperger’s, and it’s not a joke.
I have two teenage boys with Aspergers and a flock of associated stuff. Sometimes my wife and I want to run away.
Thanks.
One of my colleagues, who I suspect is an Aspie, was married barely 6 months. (This was someone who, when I asked for a write-up of a librarian conference, sent me -- I think -- 12 pages of German philosophy. I had to get into a trance to read it.)
Another Aspie was nearly dumped by his bride (my friend) right after the wedding night. She said to me, "I didn't get married just to get divorced!" Over the years she worked with him, and as you said, it wasn't easy. I believe their kids have problems.
These kind of people might do well with someone who can carry them socially and practically -- someone with a lot of patience. It is risky, though, because at some point the person might get fed up.