Santa Cruz court to hear former lesbian partners' custody dispute over twins..

Mercury News ^ | Jan 16th, 2010

[TaraP]

SANTA CRUZ — In a case that could have far-reaching implications for gay rights, a Santa Cruz woman is seeking to maintain joint custody of 10-month-old twins that she and her former partner, the biological mother of the children, had agreed to raise.

As court battles over the rights of non-biological gay parents garner national attention, the Santa Cruz case contains a complicated wrinkle: The biological mother is now involved in a romantic relationship with the sperm donor, who has joined her in seeking full custody of the boys.

"It's the first case I'm aware of where a lesbian couple in a committed relationship has brought a child into the world, then after breaking up, the biological mother has tried to sub in the biological father," said Deborah Wald, a family law attorney who, along with the National Center for Lesbian Rights, represents the non-biological mother.

"If they won, we would consider it a very dangerous precedent for lesbian couples having children with the assistance of known sperm donors," Wald said.

The biological parents, Maggie Quale and Shawn Wallace, who now live together, say they should be allowed to fully parent their twins, Max and Levi, without a court order allowing even partial custody to Quale's former partner, Kim T. Smith. They say the civil lawsuit filed by Smith, who declined to comment, has put them in the painful position of asserting their rights

[TaraP]

*The INSANITY of the Gay Agenda and Lifestyle*
The 45-year-old Smith, who works in a UC Santa Cruz business office, believes she should be granted joint custody because Quale had agreed to raise the babies with her, a point Quale acknowledges. While Quale and Smith never registered as domestic partners with the state, Smith said they were considered domestic partners on Smith’s medical insurance, which was used to pay for the children’s birth.

Though Smith never formally adopted the twins, Smith and Quale are both listed as parents on the children’s birth certificate, and the children carry the hyphenated last name Smith-Quale even though the pair split up five months after the boys were born.

A Santa Cruz judge has temporarily granted Smith’s request for regular visitation with the twins, pending the outcome of a trial. Smith picks up the twins at Quale’s home three times a week for visits, including two overnight stays. Both sides say they have tried to settle out of court without success.

The Santa Cruz trial, which will be set after a Jan. 29 hearing, comes to the fore as a federal court in San Francisco heard arguments this week in a case designed to overturn Proposition 8, the ban on gay marriage approved by voters in 2008. Also, a former Vermont couple captured national headlines this month after a biological mother refused to share custody of her daughter, as ordered by a court, with her ex-partner.

“Child custody battles, whether between lesbian, gay or straight couples are always a sad affair,” said Jim Brown, executive director of the Diversity Center in Santa Cruz. “Cases like these provide an opportunity for the broader community to recognize that LGBT families are no different than straight families, with all their challenges and blessings.”

Quale and Wallace, a 28-year-old landscape designer, gave a joint interview in their home earlier this week after going public with their plight to raise money for legal fees. The two launched a Web site called SaveOurTwins.com and created a Facebook page explaining their side of the case.

The pair said their romantic relationship began only after Quale and Smith ended their two-year relationship and Smith moved out. After meeting in May 2007, Quale and Smith participated in a commitment ceremony in January 2008 but never officially married during the five-month window when such unions were permitted by the California Supreme Court before Proposition 8 passed.

Quale and Wallace said the children were conceived through insemination, not sex. Quale, who has an 8-year-old son from a previous marriage to another man, met Wallace through a mutual friend while she was living with Smith. Wallace was paid $500 for his services, including travel expenses because he was not living in Santa Cruz at the time.

Both sides acknowledge there were no written, legal parenting arrangements made among Quale, Smith and Wallace before or after the children were born. Quale said she had been planning to have more children before meeting Smith, and actually chose Wallace to be the father without Smith’s involvement.

Quale said she and Smith never legalized their relationship because of persistent problems with the relationship. She declined to provide details, saying she did not want to disparage her former partner.

[TaraP]

Kim left when the babies were five months old and Shawn immediately stepped forward to honor his role as a father. He moved into our home and has provided daily love and support every single day since. Shawn is an amazing dad and these babies adore him. Over the past few months we have realized a shared vision. We know that we started this family in an unconventional way............ We recognize that our choices set this all into motion, but each day that passes we believe more and more that God brought us together for a reason. We are learning life-changing lessons about our responsibility as the biological parents and believe it is of supreme importance for us to create a loving, healthy family for our children.

[freekitty]

These people don’t think and these poor kids are going to get the rotten end of the deal.

[KeatsforFirstDog]

those little boys are precious!

[TaraP]

No because the GAY Nazi’s are in an all and out war to make their Lifestyle == with Traditional Normal Marriage...

They will destroy the Family and society, if they can rally all liberal Politicians to their cause...

[AliVeritas]

ping

[Judges Gone Wild]

When people sell their eggs, their sperm, or rent their womb, it creates problems. Congratulations to the happy couple. I hope it all works out for them.

[GovernmentShrinker]

If you want a sperm donor, you need to get a sperm donor, not a friend, and you need to get a contract if it’s a donor who will have access to your identity.

Looking at the whole story, it’s not clear to me that the biological mother was ever really committed to raising the babies with her female partner, but the partner’s medical insurance sure came in handy . . . Lesbian couples who are really, really serious about joint parenting 1) use an anonymous donor, 2) have a wrriten agreement with each other re the child-bearing/child-raising plan, and 3) if there’s any way they can possibly manage it financially, they do IVF and one woman’s eggs are used while the other carries the baby — then they’re both biological mothers.

These two women weren’t really thinking things through, and neither was the sperm donor. I doubt the relationship between the biological mother and the sperm donor will last much longer than the relationship between the two women did. Poor kids will probably be old enough to be aware of what’s going on when they’re the subjects of yet another custody battle.

[mrreaganaut]

It would have been a better soap-opera plot if it had been the non-bio lesbian going after the father, but I’m glad IRL that the parents are now together.

[blueplum]

another “I’m gay, but, now I’m not gay after all” and look what a mess I’ve made of these children’s lives, story?

[reaganaut]

The kids are adorable! I pray everything works out for the best.

[abigailsmybaby]

But, but, they’re born that way and can’t change what they are!!!!! /s

[Venturer]

Let me get this straight. The woman who thought she was a lesbian , had lived with a man, then she lived with a woman, and now she has gone back to living with a man.

She cant make up her mind what she wants, but she thinks she is capable of raising children.

Nah. I cannot be on her side. She is a whack job.

She may go back to the carpet any minute.

The poor kids are going to lose any way it goes.