DFU Ted Kennedy Songfest

What the heck, let's start with a limerick from my top five. This was the most difficult one to compose that I ever did.

Scary choices, on that you can bank
To not face them, your Lord you can thank
Would you rather be stuck
On a bridge in Ted's truck
Or a closet with Congressman Frank?

Mary Jo, come for a drive with me
With the wind in our hair we'll feel free
I have all the power of two hundred horses
We will have a fun time, you will see

Fords and Cads and Jags better scurry
'Cause I'll really be in a hurry
'Cause I'll really be in a hurry in my Oldsmobile

You are making my dingy quiver
I am hoping you will deliver
I know a nice place by a river where I'll cop a feel

It's automatic and the engine sure purrs
It has air for summer weather
And if I am naked while I fool around
My butt sometimes sticks to the leather

Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chevas bottle
You'll see when I step on the throttle it will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile

I've a technique I haven't varied
Let us just pretend I'm not married
Let us just pretend I'm not married in this Oldsmobile

I know sometimes I am conniving
My friend just took my test for diving
But I swear that I'm fit for driving so it's no big deal

It's automatic and the engine sure purrs
It has air for summer weather
And if I am naked while I fool around
My butt sometimes sticks to the leather

Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chevas bottle
You'll see when I step on the throttle it will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile

When we hit the road, if it's raining
There will be no need for complaining
My brakes I've always been maintaining in my Oldsmobile

It's well known that I hold my liquor
Most officials get drunk much quicker
There's a barf bag if I get sicker after that big meal

It's automatic and the engine sure purrs
It has air for summer weather
And if I am naked while I fool around
My butt sometimes sticks to the leather

Mary Jo, you're cute as a model
Will you pass one more Chevas bottle
You'll see when I step on the throttle it will be surreal
It is always an adventure in my hot Oldsmobile

Your little girl called...her car broke
Stranded in D.C....that's no joke
She's says, "Dad...it is not so bad...
Ted says he'll drive me home...tonight"

She hears on the phone her mom scream
Mom knows very well what it means
She gets on her knees and she prays
Hoping against hope she's okay
She says, "Dad...it is not so bad...
Ted says he'll drive home...tonight"

Teddy's thinking that...he'll have fun
His car's killed more than her dad's gun
She's says, "Dad...it is not so bad...
Ted says he'll drive home...tonight"

Col. David Hunt: We can't have Americans being beheaded anymore. We can't have towns like Fallujah. Its time for the bombs to start dropping.

O'Reilly: This is a war. I think just about everybody will believe that at this point. Everyone except Ted Kennedy.

Col. David Hunt: Who gives a crap about Ted Kennedy! Put him in a boat in Boston harbor and ship him off!!!!

Hey Ted...fat head...oh, what he said
Colonel Hunt...quite blunt...drop back and punt
If he should hear more lip...you'll be on a ship
If over you fall...don't worry at all
Fat floats...fat floats

No more...you bore...we are at war
Just shut your trap...you sap...you'll be bitch slapped
If he should hear more lip...you'll be on a ship
If over you fall...don't worry at all
Fat floats...fat floats

You're that killer lifeguard guy...you just left her there to die
Things have not changed in your car, is that whiskey and rye?

If he should hear more lip...you'll be on a ship
If over you fall...don't worry at all
Fat floats...fat floats...fat floats

If he should hear more lip...you'll be on a ship
If over you fall...don't worry at all
Fat floats...fat floats...fat floats...it floats

More human beings died in Teddy's car
Than lost their lives by Cheney's gun, so far
More times Ted cheated on a Spanish test
So, you reporters just give it a rest

More left wing bias has shown through...it is what they always do
If their side's not winning, we will see their daily spinning

More rapes by their last president...it is very evident
He's what "scumbag" always meant

More skin has been stretched on Pelosi's face
She's on a Barry Bonds' type record pace

More garbage comes from Barbara Boxer's mouth
Than held in dumpsters throughout all the South

More left wing bias has shown through...it is what they always do
If their side's not winning, we will see their daily spinning

More screaming we have heard from Howard Dean
Than heard at Bellevue, you know what I mean

More rapes by their last president...it is very evident
He's what "scumbag" always meant

Remember Mary Jo Kopechne.
Internet ^ | March 2000 | I don’t kow

Posted on Saturday, April 29, 2006 2:27:15 AM by justaguywithaspellchecker

” Do we operate under a system of equal justice under law? Or is there one system for the average citizen and another for the high and mighty? “ ~ Senator Ted Kennedy, 1973

———————————————————————————————————————— - Chappaquiddick has been called “the most brilliant cover-up ever achieved in a nation where investigative procedures are well developed and where the principles of equal justice prevail, at least during some of those moments where people are watching.” ~ The Last Kennedy by Robert Sherrill

———————————————————————————————————————— - The mysteries of the case continue to haunt Ted Kennedy as well as the authorities who investigated them. Charges of ineptitude and lack of diligence abounded, as did insinuations that the machinery of justice crumbled beneath the power and prestige of the Kennedy family. George Killen, former State Police Detective-Lieutenant, and chief of a never-revealed investigation, lamented that the failure to bring the case to a satisfactory conclusion was “the biggest mistake” of a long and distinguished police career. Senator Kennedy, he said, “killed that girl the same as if he put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.” ~ Senatorial Privilege by Leo Damore

Cape Cod with Martha’s Vineyard and Chappaquiddick

———————————————————————————————————————— Regatta Weekend - July 1969 ( excerpts from Senatorial Privilege by Leo Damore ) - Every summer, the Edgartown Yacht Club sponsored the Edgartown Regatta off Martha’s Vineyard. The Kennedys had been attending the regatta for years, and their celebrations were the stuff of legend. Their 1966 regatta party had been “riotous,” and 1967 equally festive, leaving a rented cottage in shambles. The assassination of Robert Kennedy had kept the family away in 1968, but in the spring of 1969 plans were under way to resume the festivities.

The Lawrence Cottage ~ Chappaquiddick - Two Kennedy boats, the Resolute and the Victura, were entered in the 1969 races, and Ted Kennedy felt that the weekend’s festivities provided the perfect situation to reunite the members of Bobby’s campaign staff, affectionately known as the “Boiler Room Girls” because of the tough back room work they did.

Joseph A. Gargan - Joseph Gargan, Ted Kennedy’s cousin and lawyer, agreed to make the arrangements. He reserved rooms for the women at the Katama Shores Inn near Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard. Teddy and the other men would be put up at the Shiretown Inn. Gargan also searched for a cottage on the water which would serve as the site for their cookout and party after the races. - When he discovered that all suitable accommodations on the water in Edgartown had already been taken, Gargan settled on the Lawrence Cottage on the nearby island of Chappaquiddick. This cottage was near the beach, and allowed the party-goers to stay through Sunday. “That’s the main reason I rented the place”, Gargan said.

- The island, separated from Martha’s Vineyard by a narrow channel, was accessible only a ferry which operated between the hours of 7:30 AM and midnight. Gargan’s choice of Chappaquiddick as the site for the party would ultimately lead to disaster.

———————————————————————————————————————— - Beginning in 1940, a young Joey Gargan had been sent to spend summers in Hyannis Port with his cousin Ted Kennedy. An overweight, good natured 8-year-old, Teddy was delighted with his new playmate. Muscular and athletic, Joey Gargan could take care of himself and, it turned out, Teddy too. - Used to doing chores, Gargan was handy with tools, something alien to his cousin who couldn’t change a tire on a bicycle or use a screwdriver. So resourceful was his cousin, that Teddy came to rely on him, confident that whatever the problem, “Joey’ll fix it.”

- This relationship would continue into their adult years, and was put to the ultimate test after the accident at Chappaquiddick. For nearly 20 years, Gargan suffered in silence from the wounds inflicted on him by the tragedy that killed Mary Jo Kopechne.

Mary Jo Kopechne

[ HOME ] [ INDEX ][ Chapter 1 ][ Chapter 2 ][ Chapter 3 ][ Chapter 4 ][ Chapter 5 ][ Chapter 6 ][ Epilogue ][ EXHIBITS ]

———————————————————————————————————————— At the Party: Ted Kennedy: US Senator from Massachusetts and co-host of the party at Chappaquiddick

Joseph A. Gargan: Lawyer, Ted Kennedy’s cousin, and co-host of the party

Paul Markham: Lawyer and former US Attorney for Massachusetts

Ray LaRosa: Former fireman and Kennedy campaign worker

Charles Tretter: Lawyer, head of the Boston Redevelopment Commission, and a Kennedy campaign aide

John Crimmins: Senator Kennedy’s part-time chauffeur

The Boiler Room Girls: Members of Bobby Kennedy’s campaign staff: Mary Jo Kopechne Rosemary Keough Esther Newberg Susan Tannenbaum Nance Lyons Mary Ellen Lyons

* Note: - Senator Kennedy would later explain that his wife Joan did not attend the Regatta weekend because of “health reasons” ( she was pregnant )

———————————————————————————————————————— Background:

- Following his brother Bobby’s death, “a general discouragement with Ted’s off-hour antics” was being privately expressed within the Kennedy circle. ~ The Education of Edward Kennedy by Burton Hersh

- Time reported that Ted had been drinking more heavily since his brother’s death, and “he has been a different and deeply-troubled man”. Those close to Kennedy saw signs of a recklessness at odds with his expanding presidential prospects. Accepting an assignment from Life to cover Ted Kennedy after his brother’s assassination, writer Brock Brower concluded that the insecurities, fatalism and fast-living showed Ted was seeking to escape the inevitable candidacy for President. “Some thought his drinking had got beyond the strains it was supposed to relieve,” he said. ~ Senatorial Privilege by Leo Damore

- John Lindsay of Newsweek saw “an all too-familiar pattern emerging.” Kennedy was slipping out of control toward some unavoidable crackup.

———————————————————————————————————————— Senator Kennedy’s Driver’s License had Expired

- Senator Kennedy’s driver’s license had expired on February 22, 1969 (nearly 5 months before the accident) and had not been renewed. - Although driving with an expired license was only a misdemeanor, it did provide the evidence of negligence needed to prove a manslaughter charge in the death of Mary Jo Kopechne. - The license problem was “fixed” by officials at the Registry of Motor Vehicles, under the direction of Registrar Richard McLaughlin, before the legal proceedings began.

———————————————————————————————————————— Ted Kennedy’s Driving Record:

- Ted Kennedy had a record of serious traffic violations. Their nature formed a pattern of deliberate and repeated negligent operation. Particularly bothersome was a June, 1958 conviction for “reckless driving.”

- On March 14, 1958, Deputy Sheriff Thomas Whitten had been on routine highway patrol outside Charlottesville, Virginia, when an Oldsmobile convertible ran a red light, sped off, then cut its tail lights to elude pursuit. A license check revealed the car belonged to Edward M. Kennedy, a 26-year-old law student attending the University of Virginia. Kennedy had previously been fined $15 for speeding in March 1957. - Whitten was on patrol at the same intersection a week later, he testified, “And here comes the same car. And to my surprise, he did exactly the same thing. He raced through the same red light, cut his lights when he got to the corner and made the right turn.” Whitten gave chase. He found the car in a driveway, apparently unoccupied. Looking inside, he discovered the driver, Teddy Kennedy, stretched out on the front seat and hiding. Whitten issued a ticket for “reckless driving; racing with an officer to avoid arrest; and operating a motor vehicle without an operator’s license (Mass. registration.)” - Kennedy’s attorneys were able to win numerous postponements, but eventually he was convicted on all charges and paid a $35 fine. Court officials never filed the mandatory notice of the case in the public docket, however, and Kennedy’s name had not appeared on any arrest blotter. Instead, a local reporter discovered the case when he spotted 5 warrants in Kennedy’s name in a court cash drawer.

- Three weeks after his trial, Ted Kennedy was caught speeding again, and still operating without a valid license.

- In December 1959, Kennedy was stopped again for running a red light and fined $10 and costs. In Whitten’s view, “That boy had a heavy foot and a mental block against the color red. He was a careless, reckless driver who didn’t seem to have any regard for speed limits or traffic ordinances.”

———————————————————————————————————————— - The offenses in Virginia had occurred on Ted Kennedy’s Massachusetts driver’s license, but mysteriously neither the Registry of Motor Vehicles nor the office of probation in Cambridge had any record of the out-of-state convictions. Had it been revealed at the inquest, the Senator’s history of negligence and reckless driving would have been further evidence to support a charge of manslaughter in the Chappaquiddick accident.

~ Senatorial Privilege by Leo Damore

———————————————————————————————————————— Manslaughter in Massachusetts :

“Any person who wantonly or in a reckless or grossly negligent manner did that which resulted in the death of a human being was guilty of manslaughter, although he did not contemplate such a result.” In other words, negligence in exposing another to injury by doing an act, supplied all the intention the law required to make a defendant responsible for the consequences.

- “It’s automatic in Massachusetts when a person is killed in an accident for the prosecutor to bring an action for criminal manslaughter.” ~ Joseph Gargan

- Less than a week after the accident at Chappaquiddick, the Oregonian (Portland, Oregon ~ 7-24-69 ) reported an accident in Salem, Oregon, in which a car crashed through the chain on a ferry while crossing the Willamette River. A passenger riding in the car had drowned, but the driver escaped from the car and swam to shore. The driver was charged with negligent homicide.

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