Ed Anger Says: Hands Off My Cheerios!

Weekly World News ^ | 5/13/09 | Ed Anger

[grizzlyfish]

I’m madder than Count Chocula at a convention of diabetic dentists!

Now I’ve heard everything! Seems the Government wants to call Cheerios a “drug”! I thought it might be because breakfast cereal has so much sugar, but it’s some stupid thing about it being a cholesterol medicine, and how big the printing is on the box or whatever.

I can’t figure it out, myself, but I’ve seen little kids scarfing down Cheerios like crazy so maybe it IS a drug! Little no-neck monsters leave them tossed around our church every Sunday, too, dammit. Every time I sit in a pew now, my butt goes crunch. (Ladies: just cuz God orders you to have babies, doesn’t mean he wants you to bring the little brats to his house. God’s not grandpa!)

So I guess now the Communist-in-Chief will declare a War on Cereal. If you can’t get a prescription for your Apple Jacks, you’re gonna...

[counterpunch]

0bama’s War on Drugs:
Legalize pot, ban Cheerios.

[Mr. Mojo]

My all-time favorite cereal.

This would mean war.

[bikerman]

What’s next RICE KRISPY’S.

[Izzy Dunne]

That Cheerios letter looks remarkably similar to this one, where an official called "Tyrone S. Wisecrack" wants to ground a Radio Flyer wagon.

[Ev Reeman]

Taxes on soda, chips, and increasing those on cigarettes and beer and other alcoholic beverages are going to hurt the low income people the hardest, the very same stupid people who voted for Obummer in the first place. SATISFIED NOW, YOU DUMBASSES! HAPPY NOW?

[Lazamataz]

I like Ed Anger because he’s insane.

[MrB]

The goal is control over everything about your life.

I don’t know why people are blind to this...

From the Declaration:
“...But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism...”

[Carley]

So, ho nutritious $100 per pound Kobi steak.

[Carley]

So, how nutritious $100 per pound Kobi steak.

[Cyman]

“Now I’ve heard everything! Seems the Government wants to call Cheerios a “drug”!”

No, the government is saying that if you label anything with any medical attributes, then they have the audacity to require proof.

I think it may be done to prevent the inevitable 30 minute infomercial touting coprophagia and it's enormous health benefits.

[Billthedrill]

Next the government will go after Lucky Charms when they find out there’s nothing lucky about them.

I'm with the gubmint on that one. I'm gonna choke that little brogue-slinging SOB if I don't start winning the Lotto pretty dang soon.