Replies

Lawyers are “open season”, right?

Attorney; Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Witness; Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Attorney; Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

Witness; The autopsy started around 8:30pm.

Attorney; And Mr Denton was dead at the time?

Witness; If not, he was by the time I finished.

Attorney; Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

Witness; No.

Attorney; Did you check for blood pressure?

Witness; No.

Attorney; Did you check for breathing?

Witness; No.

Attorney; So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

Witness; No.

Attorney; How can you be so sure, Doctor?

Witness; Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Attorney; I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

Witness; Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law...

Attorney; She had three children, right?

Witness; Yes.

Attorney; How many were boys?

Witness; None.

Attorney; Were there any girls?

Witness; Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?