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The Zombie Apocalypse Will Eat Our Economy
The Motley Fool ^ | 1/23/09 | Alyce Lomax

Posted on 01/25/2009 4:32:58 PM PST by randita

The Zombie Apocalypse Will Eat Our Economy

http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2009/01/23/the-zombie-apocalypse-will-eat-our-economy.aspx

Alyce Lomax January 23, 2009

According to horror movie canon, there are many ways zombies could come about. These terrifying quirks could consist of anything from radioactivity to pollution to a virus to some mysterious substance from outer space. Whatever the cause, though, it usually reflects something our society fears -- or possibly should fear -- at any given time. Unfortunately, it's becoming clear that the threat of zombies here and now is real.

That is, the zombie banks and zombie corporations that are artificially kept alive even though in any rational, natural world they should be dead. And if these reanimated corpses are still stumbling around, growing greater and greater in number, well, I'm pretty sure we all know what appears to be causing the dead to rise.

Send more paramedics Repeated capital infusions into companies like Bank of America (NYSE: BAC) and Citigroup (NYSE: C) seem to be very good examples of the ravenous undead. And the infection is spreading and underlining the kind of problems and moral hazard we now face. The Big Three automakers, General Motors (NYSE: GM), Ford (NYSE: F), and Chrysler, represent hundreds of thousands of jobs, and the recent government bailout loans to GM and Chrysler shows the great lengths politicians will go in order to keep them alive. The real long-term problem is that, since these companies have already failed the market test to begin with, they're not really alive, are they?

And now there are rumors that other struggling industries in the current economic climate are clamoring for government boosters from the coming economic stimulus programs in some form. Such industries the media has cited include airlines, which includes UAL (Nasdaq: UAUA) and Continental (NYSE: CAL), and steel, which includes companies like Nucor (NYSE: NUE). But why weren't their business models built for survival, taking into account the inevitable business cycles? (And you could argue the airlines' business models haven't even been built to survive in good times, either.) Surely there's an argument that there's zombification at work in these cases, too.

Propped-up companies aren't vital and healthy. And they will continue to lumber around, ravenously devouring capital, which then will not be available for strong, living, vibrant companies. This is what happened in Japan, contributing to that nation's so-called lost decade.

Talk about a zombie apocalypse!

You've got red on you In my long history of horror movie fanaticism, I've seen a lot of zombie kills. Whether it's the rather run-of-the-mill bullet through the head, a well-placed blow with a cricket bat, a Sade vinyl LP, or (and this one was pretty gross), helicopter blades, I've seen a lot of different methods to stop zombies in their tracks.

I know, it's gross and it's violent, but for goodness' sake they're not actually alive, and worse, they're trying to chomp on us living, breathing, sentient, productive citizens! (And they're only movies.)

So what to do about the zombie banks and corporations that we are building right now? Well, to avoid another scenario like Japan's lost decade, maybe the government needs to stop feeding them immediately. (Incidentally, zombie starvation eventually did the trick in 28 Days Later.)

There are, of course, different versions of exactly what the real problem was that caused Japan's disaster. I've noticed that when it comes to economics, it's easy to find all kinds of explanations for why anything good or ill has happened in economic history. For example, you've probably heard that the New Deal helped us out of the Great Depression, but there's also the argument that what really got us back on track was World War II.

Likewise, when it comes to Japan's lost decade, some claim that Japan's government did nothing for too long and that's why everything stagnated. However, another compelling explanation (and definitely a component of the problem) was that the government plowed money into pointless infrastructure projects ("bridges to nowhere") and that it kept giving capital to sick and dying banks and then their sick and dying borrowers, instead of simply letting the unhealthy die a natural death.

They're coming to get you, Barbara! In my opinion, unhealthy companies need to be allowed to fail, fail, fail. Over and over in my reading, a very logical theme has repeatedly cropped up: It does not make sense to continuously pour capital to non-competitive, ailing businesses -- it will not stimulate economic growth.

It simply takes capital away from healthy companies (and individuals). It's wasteful and counterproductive, and starves the healthy (much like zombies prey on the living). And of course there's that darn moral hazard thing again.

Meanwhile, the din is growing louder that TARP funds are being used in a non-transparent manner and worse, the hand-outs of capital don't seem focused on only helping truly strong financial companies, but rather may be politically motivated, which was always a huge part of the danger of such an undertaking, of course.

Regardless of whether people intellectually reside in the "government-must-spend," "go-ahead-and-nationalize," or the "let-them-fail" camp, there at least seems to be agreement that the financial companies must start writing down toxic waste on balance sheets to ugly (but realistic) levels and the unhealthiest firms need to be let go. Likewise, companies that can't pass the market test need to be allowed to die their natural deaths, too. It's going to be difficult medicine and short-term pain, but destroying the zombies is what we need for a healthy economy in the long run.

I have been known to occasionally joke about being prepared for the coming zombie apocalypse. Little did anybody realize there was a zombie threat coming -- just not the kind you see in the movies. Hopefully people will wake up and realize that it's a long-term mistake to keep the zombies of our economy alive … otherwise we may end up with a sequel nobody really wanted to see: Decade of the Living Dead Economy.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bankinglist; financelist; moneylist
Excellent and original take.
1 posted on 01/25/2009 4:32:58 PM PST by randita
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To: randita
Send more paramedics

That was a line in one of the Return of the Living Dead movies.

2 posted on 01/25/2009 4:35:30 PM PST by Tribune7 (Obama wants to put the same crowd that ran Fannie Mae in charge of health care)
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To: Tribune7
So what to do about the zombie banks and corporations that we are building right now? Well, to avoid another scenario like Japan's lost decade, maybe the government needs to stop feeding them immediately

Nothing here but common sense, not for democrat consumption. Rated X for adults only!

3 posted on 01/25/2009 4:38:26 PM PST by MrPiper
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To: randita

My prediction?

First, those that have recently lost their jobs, or will in the next year, will stop paying their CCs and other consumer loans, defaulting all over the countryside.

Then, all those malls and office spaces sitting empty will be coming home to roost.

This is gonna get fun, fun, fun in the next two years or so.
Hold on to your butts!

Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.


4 posted on 01/25/2009 4:38:37 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: Tribune7

So is, ‘They’re coming to get you, Barbara!” Here’s the clip:

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=358


5 posted on 01/25/2009 4:41:16 PM PST by randita (If the government could "fix" the economy, we'd never have a recession.)
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To: Diana in Wisconsin
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.

No, no, that was pre-zero. Now it's plan for the worst, hope for the best.
6 posted on 01/25/2009 4:47:05 PM PST by randomhero97 ("First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow!" - Ash)
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To: randomhero97

LOL! You are correct. :)


7 posted on 01/25/2009 4:53:44 PM PST by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: Tribune7

I’ve often wondered why there are so many Zombie movies (or even zombie-like ones, like “28 Days Later”). If I were paranoid (which I kinda am), I would imagine that there really ARE zombie-like things in some Bio-lab somewhere. Further, the Government suspects that the Zombie virus might accidently escape one day and start to spread like wildfire. Naturally, the Government can’t admit to such a thing. So, the reason for the Zombie movies is that the Government wants to prep the populace for a potential outbreak so that they don’t totally freak out and, to some degree know what to do (shoot ‘em in the head).

That’s my theory anyway.


8 posted on 01/25/2009 5:06:12 PM PST by rbg81 (DRAIN THE SWAMP!!)
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To: rbg81

The re-animation of dead tissue and organs has been experimented with throughout history. I believe this was one of Hitler’s special projects.


9 posted on 01/25/2009 5:14:29 PM PST by randomhero97 ("First you want to kill me, now you want to kiss me. Blow!" - Ash)
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To: rbg81
I would imagine that there really ARE zombie-like things in some Bio-lab somewhere.

Slow or fast moving?

10 posted on 01/25/2009 5:22:48 PM PST by killjoy (Life sucks, wear a helmet.)
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To: killjoy

It probably started out slow moving in the 60s, but they are now fast. That’s how the latest Zombie movies show it. If it gets out, we are hosed big time.


11 posted on 01/25/2009 5:27:11 PM PST by rbg81 (DRAIN THE SWAMP!!)
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To: rbg81
If it gets out, we are hosed big time.

What's this we stuff? :)


12 posted on 01/25/2009 5:34:54 PM PST by Centurion2000 (01-20-2009 : The end of the PAX AMERICANA.)
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To: rbg81

Well, in that case, they government would have to be conspiring with George Romero, not a very pro-government type of guy. But if you’re worried, keep a good supply of provisions laid up along with guns and plenty of ammunition. As regards the provisions, that’s usually a good idea anyway, both in terms of preparedness and as a financial hedge against inflation.


13 posted on 01/25/2009 5:57:46 PM PST by MSF BU (++)
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To: MSF BU

You do realize that this is mostly tongue in cheek, right? Still, the number and variety of Zombie movies does seem a little strange to me—its much bigger than Mr. Romero. If you wanted to prep the public for something without creating an obvious panic, this would be the smart way to do it.


14 posted on 01/25/2009 6:01:42 PM PST by rbg81 (DRAIN THE SWAMP!!)
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To: rbg81

I understood the irony. But the rioting in LA or New Orleans is not that much different in the sense that crazy things are happening and the police won’t be there to help. As regards the provisions, ditto. Andrew Tobias does an excellent analysis with canned tuna, showing that stockpiling (or buying in quantity) actually makes a great deal of financial sense if you have room to store the stuff.


15 posted on 01/25/2009 6:09:28 PM PST by MSF BU (++)
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To: MSF BU
Well, in that case, they government would have to be conspiring with George Romero, not a very pro-government type of guy. But if you’re worried, keep a good supply of provisions laid up along with guns and plenty of ammunition.

Also, wear tight-fitting clothes, keep your hair cut short and remember, most of all, "you don't have the reload a machete". :)

16 posted on 01/25/2009 6:46:23 PM PST by The Duke (I have met the enemy, and he is named 'Apathy'!)
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To: rbg81
The next big zombie movie coming out is "World War Z", based upon the book by Max Brooks (yes, Mel's son, and also the author of "The Zombie Survival Guide"). It's another zombie apocalpyse movie, but it's told, after the event, with the author interviewing the survivors. Explores government response, international response, Patient Zero, etc. Great battle scenes (Battle of Yonkers). Initial script reviews says it closely follows the book. The audiobook is voiced by Mark Hamill, Carl Reiner, Rob Reiner, Alan Alda, and Henry Rollins. Supposedly trying to land several A-listers for the movie (Brad Pitt's production company won the rights to make it). Could be "The Dark Knight" of horror films.

Only downside to the book is that it depicts Ann Coulter (and Bill Maher) getting eaten by zombies.

17 posted on 01/25/2009 7:10:32 PM PST by GreatOne (You will bow down before me, Son of Jor-el!)
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To: GreatOne
Only downside to the book is that it depicts Ann Coulter (and Bill Maher) getting eaten by zombies.

With Rob Reiner and Alan Alda involved in the project, can you expect anything else?

18 posted on 01/25/2009 7:16:12 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Grizzled Bear

Reiner and Alda were just involved in the audiobook production, not the actual writing of the book. And Bill Maher is killed off at the same time; seemed to me to be an attempt at getting someone from each side.


19 posted on 01/25/2009 7:19:16 PM PST by GreatOne (You will bow down before me, Son of Jor-el!)
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To: GreatOne

Actually, I read it. Thought it was very well done—and not at all politically correct.


20 posted on 01/25/2009 7:21:21 PM PST by rbg81 (DRAIN THE SWAMP!!)
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