My main concern is this dumbass navigating a very dangerous world and having no seamanship skills.
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More than forty years ago I boarded a liberty launch and Left the USS Saratoga to go “to the beach” in Naples, Italy. While I was drinking and carousing a huge storm came up and there were monstrous waves in the harbor. When I went to board the launch to return we were all told to find a hotel room and we could not go back to the ship until the storm passed. Two hours later the Shore Patrol awoke me in my room and said that plans had changed and we were going back to the ship regardless. When I got to the dock and boarded the launch, a thirty footer that was bobbing up and down like a cork, I was amazed to see that our trusty enlisted Boatswain’s mate was not the coxswain. Instead there was an officer at the helm, I am not sure about his rank now but it was obvious that he was a staff officer by his collar insignia. I asked a buddy what was going on and he said, look closely, he is a dentist! At this point we were all paralyzed with fear at the thought of what was going to happen. Amazingly, the man knew how to handle a vessel, he got us back to the ship and everyone boarded safely even though I missed the platform and had to hang there gripping the handrails waiting for the boat to come back up on the next crest. I was never so relieved as when I felt the gunwale on the launch lifting my feet, I had had visions of being crushed into sausage. There were two very big sailors strapped to the platform and they were holding my arms but they couldn’t quite lift my weight back up until the boat lifted my feet and then they snatched my six foot four inch frame safely aboard.
Somehow I don’t think we are going to be that lucky with this little voyage. That dentist proved that his confidence was justified. I don’t think our new coxswain even knows which way to head to find safety and I am not even sure he doesn’t want us to sink, he can always take refuge in some country that hates us.
I agree with your assessment of our soon-to-be coxswain. I think he is already getting the message, but I bet when he wakes up January 21st, and finds himself the WORLD'S go-to-guy, he is going to completely understand how miserably “prepared” he is for the job. The old saying “up to his eyeballs in alligators” will probably gain new meaning for the “Chicago hood rat”.
Michelle, however, is another story. She is so stupid, I don't think she will ever realize how unprepared either one of them are for their new “roles”.