Perhaps this will help ease your mind. Missles are not missles, different types, different purposes. The missiles that the Soviet Union placed in Cuba were offensive missles systems, designed to deliver nuclear weapons to a ground target. The only target from Cuba was the United States.
The missles that we will put in Poland are defensive missles. They are designed to shoot down incoming missles - big, big difference. Moreover, the missles that we intend to shoot down are not Russian missles, they are missles launched against Europe from rogue nations - that would be spelled I-R-A-N. We have offered to share the command and control system with the Russians and have invited them to be a part of the effort. They have refused. Why would you think that they would do that?
I see your point but why does America treat Poland soil as territory of the U.S. I believe the President of U.S. has a duty to Americans before Poland. If Russia made the same comments about Cuba all hell would break loose.