Posted on 06/14/2008 10:30:14 PM PDT by Copernicus
Etiquette must, if it is to be of more than trifling use, include ethics as well as manners. Certainly what one is, is of far greater importance than what one appears to be.
A knowledge of etiquette is of course essential to one’s decent behavior, just as clothing is essential to one’s decent appearance; and precisely as one wears the latter without being self-conscious of having on shoes and perhaps gloves, one who has good manners is equally unself-conscious in the observance of etiquette, the precepts of which must be so thoroughly absorbed as to make their observance a matter of instinct rather than of conscious obedience.
Thus Best Society is not a fellowship of the wealthy, nor does it seek to exclude those who are not of exalted birth; but it is an association of gentle-folk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of the social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members.
(Excerpt) Read more at bartleby.com ...
A fun place to visit and browse.
Best regards to all,
When I was in High School.......we were the last class to be required to take "Home and Family Living" which taught Jr and Sr students how to run a house, balance a budget, plan for the future and how to behave in a variety of social situations.
As poor as my family was... I learned how to fit in with people from every walk of life....and that training has served me well through the years.
George Washington, sometime before the age of 16, transcribed Rules of Civility & Decent Behaviour In Company and Conversation. (Original errors in numbering have been corrected; original spelling is unchanged.)
1st Every Action done in Company, ought to be with Some Sign of Respect, to those that are Present.
2d When in Company, put not your Hands to any Part of the Body, not usualy Discovered.
3d Shew Nothing to your Freind that may affright him.
4th In the Presence of Others Sing not to yourself with a humming Noise, nor Drum with your Fingers or Feet.
(snip)
107th If others talk at Table be attentive but talk not with Meat in your Mouth.
108th When you Speak of God or his Atributes, let it be Seriously & wt. Reverence. Honour & Obey your Natural Parents altho they be Poor.
109th Let your Recreations be Manfull not Sinfull.
110th Labour to keep alive in your Breast that Little Spark of Celestial fire Called Conscience.
Finis
http://www.earlyamerica.us/Almanack/life/manners/rules2.cfm
Duels were another means of controlling public behavior. One could be called out for poor behavior and their life would be at stake unless they took care to see that they behaved in a gentile fashion. One had to always weigh their words in public before speaking.
So really, an armed society is a polite society.
Another reason to... see my tagline!
Emily Post’s message is very egalitarian and very American. Etiquette is nothing more than thinking first of the needs and feelings of others, and putting them at their ease. You will find gracious ladies and gentlemen in the inner city as well as at the highest levels of society,and you will find vulgar pigs in both places too.
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