Posted on 06/14/2008 6:55:47 AM PDT by lowbuck
During my 1960s boyhood, Father's Day was an awkward occasion. It required my brothers and me to express love to a man who considered such talk girlish, and who knew we feared more than liked him. Only for the sake of Mom did Dad and his five boys put on a Father's Day act.
But after the death of my father last month, I understand that those fake-feeling gestures back then had conveyed a lot of truth, and that the expression of love between a father and his boys can be -- maybe should be -- at times difficult.
(Excerpt) Read more at online.wsj.com ...
I cannot let a day go by that I don't tell my son how much I love him and what a wonderful difference he has made to my life.
You’re doing a great thing and laying the foundation for a bright future. When we lose a loved one (both of my parents), it drives home the realization that we don’t get a second chance if we don’t get it right the first time.. There is so much I would have loved to tell my parents and now its too late.. I can only try to devote myself to making sure there is nothing unsaid between myself and my children.
I never ever heard my father utter the word LOVE . I’m sad to say that I think he never really loved any of his 6 kids , or his wife for that matter . He’s 77 now , and he and my mother have been seperated for about 20 years now . None of the family will have anything to do with him .
I’m happy to say that my daughter , 20 and a college student in Kyoto , sent me a father’s day card with a message that included the word LOVE at least a half a dozen times . The word LOVE is no stranger around THIS house .
My dad wasn’t as involved in raising us as a lot of fathers are these days but he told each of us everyday that he loved us.
...and he always hollered, “I’m home” when he entered the house at the end of the day.
He was a real sweetie.
My other brothers have little contact with her, but years ago I was listening to a motivational speaker (FWIW Brian Tracy) and he clearly pointed out that my mother would not be around forever. I have sense redeveloped a relations with the one who gave me both life and a childhood of pain. It is better this way.
Please reach out to you dad before you cannot.
Neat article.
Thanks for posting this marvelous article.
And Happy Father’s Day all youse guys out there.
“I never ever heard my father utter the word LOVE . I’m sad to say that I think he never really loved any of his 6 kids , or his wife for that matter . He’s 77 now , and he and my mother have been seperated for about 20 years now . None of the family will have anything to do with him .”
Talk is cheap. Some guys of your fathers generation knew that verbal expression came hard to a lot of men so they talked up the love thing and never actually did much else to back it up.
Your family voted with their feet. People don’t abandon someone they love. People don’t fail to love someone-however hard-who may not have SAID much but whose Love manifested itself in ACTION over years.
The subject of the article got off his ass for his family. He MANIFESTLY worried about how were and how they would turn out, and that is why his Men cried for him when he was gone.
Mark
I caused my Father so much grief, we were always arguing but when I look back we were the most alike. He never said that he loved me too often, he was a stern military man, not a man of many words and he was a tough disciplinarian. The only time he did break down and said that he loved me was the time that I ran away from home. I remember, returning home seeing him at the bus stop, thinking boy he I am going to get it. Instead he hugged me and said: do not do it ever again, that me and your mother love you very much and he was weeping. He, a big stern Irishman-Ex Military who hardly never said much. Please fellow freepers, life is too short tell your parents, especially if you are estranged from them or if not and tell them that you love them. I did not tell him fast enough and when I went away with my boyfriend then, now my husband, I returned from the trip and my Father suffered a massive heart attack, slipped into a deep coma and passed away five weeks later. Daddy, if you hear me in heaven now, I so sorry for all the grief that I caused you, I love you very much and Happy Fathers Day. I am sorry fellow freepers for rambling, my eyes are quite swollen from crying. Happy Fathers Day to all the Freepers who are Fathers./Just Asking - seoul62........
hugs,,, that is a beautiful post. Most of us truly dont appreciate our parents until older & often it is too late to act & be the kind of person to have a good relationship.
A lot of us were selfish brats as kids/teens..
My dad died in 1990 & I still miss him so very much.
My father would have taken a bullet for any of his kids.
I would do the same for my daughter and she knows it. Always has.
Father’s Day is not a big deal, never has been. With family, everyday is what counts.
Tomorrow, I'm putting a twist on Father's Day. I'll be handing my three children (20, 19, & 6) a Father's Day gift from me: a letter to each of them expressing my love and aspirations for them.
Hopefully this will help unlock the barriers that began building as they progressed through their teenage years. For my youngest, it will be a challenge to express my words so that he will understand. Fortunately, he's reading near third grade level.
My dad (now in his early 80’s) was not a gusher when his five girls were young, but WE KNEW he loved us. Then again, we sisters never used the particular phrase, “I love you” to each other, but WE KNEW. Mom had no problem saying it, but she was the “mushy” one!
As we’ve all gotten older, and our time together grows shorter, we’ve begun to tell each other, all the time.
It’s really cute to hear my father try. Right before he hangs up the phone, he blurts, “LoveYouBye.” I end up saying, “Love you, too” to dead air!
Man, I miss my dad......
I miss my dad......
Sorry for the double post.....and thank you for this very nice tribute to Dad.....
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