FR Abducted by Aliens

Vanity | 4 May 08 | null and void

[Petronski]

Was it a painful disenvowelment?

[Brad’s Gramma]

My freepmail won’t let me delete messages.

That's cuz I'm not done reading them!

:)

[SiVisPacemParaBellum]

May I have your attention...

look right here...

[null and void]

RIMMER: (Snaps his fingers) Aliens!
LISTER: Oh god, aliens? Your explanation for anything slightly peculiar is aliens, isn't it? You lose your keys -- it's aliens. A picture falls off the wall -- it's aliens. That time we used up a whole bog roll in a day -- you thought that was aliens as well.
RIMMER: Well we didn't use it all, Lister. Who did?
LISTER: Rimmer, aliens used our bog roll?
RIMMER: Just 'cause they're aliens doesn't mean to say the don't have to visit the little boys' room. Only they probably do something weird and alienesque like it comes out of the top of their heads or something.
LISTER: Well I wouldn't like to be stuck behind one in a cinema.

[null and void]

RIMMER: Aliens!
LISTER: What?
CAT: What are you talking about, grease stain?
RIMMER: It's a well documented phenomenon. They kidnap you, give you a mind probe, erase your memory, and put you back.
LISTER: OK, aliens came aboard.
RIMMER: Without question.
LISTER: They broke my leg.
RIMMER: For some reason.
CAT: They broke MY leg.
RIMMER: Right.
HOLLY: And then they did a jigsaw.
RIMMER: Right.
HOLLY: Well, that's cleared that up then.
RIMMER: Look, you're not thinking alien. That's what aliens are: alien. They do alien things. Things that are... (shrugs) alien. Maybe this is the way they communicate.
CAT: By breaking legs?
LISTER: And doing jigsaws?
RIMMER: Why should they speak the way we do? They're aliens.
LISTER: OK, professor, what does it mean?
RIMMER: Maybe, maybe, OK? Breaking your leg hurts like hell, OK? "Hel." They do it below the knee, "lo." "Hel-lo," gettit? They do it twice -- twice, "two." "Hello two." And the jigsaw must mean "you." "Hello to you."
CAT: I wouldn't like to be around when one of these suckers is making a speech! (He limps out.)

[dforest]

Man, all those really great posts I made earlier left with them on the mother ship.

No one will ever know how clever they were, except for the aliens, of course. /s

[VOA]

“FR Abducted by Aliens”

Or it was just an overloading of the circuits by over-deployment
of the sporkweasels.

Behinds the Scenes of a Zot!
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1674019/posts

[null and void]

[fanfan]

You guys need to stop making me scared. My husband is not here for protection so I’ve got the door locked. I don’t know where my tin foil hat is, so I found an oil funnel and put that on my head. I have a conservative thick skull so that should help. Do you think I’m safe?

You have tin foil in the basement. Wrap it around the funnel, draping it around the sides.

Chew a few pieces of gum, and when softened, plug the top of funnel with the gum. Cover the top of the funnel with more tin foil.

Let us know when the aliens are gone, and set up an automatic e-mail to let us know if this solution fails.

Thanks.

[ValerieTexas]

They are envious of our well-endowed inalienable rights.

[MeekOneGOP]

[Joya]

Ping.

[bpjam]

Thank you Dr Bogus. Not only did the ‘probe’ disappear but you’ve also cleared up my acne!!