In the immortal words of the bi+(# who nearly became "first 'lady'":
We want to Save Our Seas and Reefs, encourage people to Donate Organs, Choose Life and Invest in Children, boost the economy by supporting Homeownership For All, and channel our hippie karma by saying Trees Are Cool.
Add 'em all up, and we have 108 specialty license plates in Florida.
And the promotional blitz may get a bit more crowded, since the Legislature is contemplating adding six more specialty plates to the super-sized menu.
Among them is a tag honoring Confederate heritage -- which would include images of Dixie flags and buttons from Rebel uniforms.
Let's have a rebel yell, everybody. Or not.
Some things that are blatantly offensive, such as a Nazi swastika, incite a visceral reaction. The Confederate flag is one of them, too. It's a symbol of a time when our nation was split into two warring factions. The Confederates, the folks who advocated slavery, lost.
And while it is proper to mourn all the brothers and sisters of past generations who died, you don't do it by flaunting one of the defining symbols of racism.
Unfortunately, some people are stuck in a time warp.
"It's a part of our history, whether we like it or not," said Rep. Don Brown, R-DeFuniak Springs. "I appreciate the heritage and the good things that people feel about our past."
Brown, a Panhandle legislator, is the proud sponsor of a bill that, fortunately, is likely to get buried in committee, which means the rise of the Confederate Nation will have to wait another day.
Which begs the question: Why introduce the bill other than to lob a political firebomb?
But another pertinent question is this: Why does our state allow so much influence-peddling on our roadways?
Some plates are benign enough. You can show your school colors with university plates, cheer for the Dolphins and Panthers, both the sporty and environmental varieties, and promote an end to breast cancer.
In the course of online surfing, I came across a John Lennon "Imagine" plate. How could you not love a "brotherhood of man"?
It's the trickle-down effect that's dicey. Given those allowances, can a Molly Hatchet "Gator Country" plate be in our future? At some point, you have to say no m�s.
The problem involves the rules of engagement. Too easy. It requires an act of the Legislature, which allows a strong lobbyist to influence a legislator into filing a bill.
It also requires a survey of motor vehicle owners, a $60,000 fee, a marketing plan, a financial analysis and a design.
But with more than 100 of them in circulation, that hardly seems like an insurmountable challenge.
The plates do have a redeeming value. The extra fees that motorists pay for specialty tags raise money for a cause, a charity or a university, among other endeavors.
Fees for the "Imagine" plate are designated for the Florida Association of Food Banks, and raised $234,200 in fiscal 2007.
But enough already. And by all means, please say no to Mr. Brown's "heritage" scam.
That symbol was from another era, one of horse and buggy.
Our ride is smoother now.
It's just that the roads are congested with more philosophical twists and turns than you'd ever imagine, with or without the poignant influence of John Lennon.
This bill will get nowhere as long as Gov. Christ wants to be on McCain’s VP or have a slot in the McCain Cabinet or wants run for President.
This bill is Dead.
One mans heritage is anothers bitch.
The thing I don’t like about various organizations putting their logos on license plates is that it makes license plates less uniform. If you want to make a statement get a frame for your license plate or put a bumper sticker on your car.
Anyone against the honoring of Southern Heritage is a racist and bigot!
LLS
In the immortal words of the bi+(# who nearly became "first 'lady'":