Cannibalism May Have Wiped Out Neanderthals

Discovery News ^ | 2-27-2008 | Jennifer Viegas

[Rb ver. 2.0]

Proof that Neanderthals were not clowns.

[Grimmy]

Everyone knows what really happened with the Neanderthals. No big secret.
First they wandered around the Eurasia, central Europe and Iberian peninsula area in a traveling carnival featuring cage fights.

Once that crowed was played out and they’d run out of people to have fun whopping on, they moved up to the Ireland area and entertained themselves with the Tuatha de Dannon folk there.

Then, in order to get properly set up for later games, they moved to northern Scotland area and waited on the Danes to show up.

They would have gone to the Dane lands, but it gets ridiculously cold up there so they figured they’d just camp out a bit and wait on the Danes to come viking toward them.

After that area got played out, the young ones got the traveling bug again so shipped up and come to the new world to play cowboy and indians after a brief pause for a revolution.

[sheik yerbouty]

“Parts is parts..”

[adorno]

They’re just now called Democrats.

So, according to your theory, Ronald Reagan and I were both Neanderthals at one time. But then, how do you explain our evolution within our own lifetime to "modern humans"?

[blam]

"I knew a physical anthro buff who swore that Cro Magnon and Neanderthal coexist today. Anyone know about this theory? (serious)"

Yes. We are them.

[Anti-Bubba182]

"Since modern clinical tests show that medical instruments can carry infectious prions, which spread TSE's, even after such tools have been sterilized,..."

What would they do to get rid of that?

[blam]

What happened to the Fomorians?

[org.whodat]

Draw a circle on the wall, list all probable causes and maybe’s, throw one dart! You probably came as close as anyone else.

[Sudetenland]

I’ve seen ‘em, they do GEICO adds.

[Coyoteman]

I knew a physical anthro buff who swore that Cro Magnon and Neanderthal coexist today. Anyone know about this theory? (serious)

We are essentially Cro Magnon.

DNA tests suggest Neanderthal died out.

[Rocky]

Neanderthal - the other white meat.

[Sudetenland]

I didn’t know the Umbrella Corporation had started their research that long ago. Resident Evil “T-virus”

[A_Former_Democrat]

Our own personal Political Road to Damascus.

[FFranco]

No it didn’t, some survived. One opened a restaurant in San Francisco.

[humblegunner]

"The story of Neanderthal extinction is one of the most intriguing in all of human evolution," author Simon Underdown told Discovery News.

We ain't extinct.

Neanderthals likely practiced cannibalism.

No we don't.

Never did.

[TYVets]

In hard times Neanderthals and liberals eat their young.

[Grimmy]

What happened to the Fomorians?

Where you think the Brits came from? Look at how they treated poor ol’ Nemed’s decendants:

After Nemed’s death Conand and Morc (Fomorians) enslaved his people and demanded a heavy tribute: two thirds of their children, grain and cattle.

Sounds a bit “Highland Clearance” doesn’t it? Brit Tradition. Be evil, levy large taxes. Force rebellion.

[popdonnelly]

What was needed back then was a PETN - People for the Ethical Treatment of Neanderthals.

[SoldierDad]

A lesson that would be good for Conservatives to learn in this current election cycle.

[mamelukesabre]

Heard of it.

The basic idea, as I recall, is that white europeans of large chinned, large nosed, heavy brow appearance are that way because they are part neandertal.

Gérard Depardieu is often cited as an example.

I once knew a young woman that had a face very similar to gerard’s. I’ll tell you what, she was built like a neandertal too. Pear shaped, but solid as a rock. Size 12 shoe, etc.