Posted on 08/28/2007 4:43:46 PM PDT by blam
Source: Springer
Date: August 28, 2007
Men Choose Romance Over Success
Science Daily — Men may be more willing than women to sacrifice achievement goals for a romantic relationship, according to a new study by Catherine Mosher of Duke Medical Center and Sharon Danoff-Burg from the University of Albany. Their findings challenge our preconceptions that women are more likely to prioritize people and relationships while men are more focused on themselves and their achievements.
The authors looked at whether personality traits influence students’ life goals, and focused on the relative importance of romantic relationships and achievement goals in particular. A total of 237 undergraduate students (80 men and 157 women aged 16 to 25 years), from the psychology department at a state university in the northeast of the US, completed questionnaires measuring personality traits and life goals.
In particular, Mosher and Danoff-Burg looked at ‘agency’, or the focus on oneself and the formation of separations, including self-assertion, self-protection, and self-direction, as well as ‘communion’, or the focus on other people and relationships, which involves group participation, cooperation and formation of attachments. In general, women tend to score higher on measures of communion whereas men tend to score higher than women on measures of agency.
Life goals included seven achievement goals (physical fitness, travel, financial success, home ownership, contribution to society, career and education) and five different types of relationships (romantic, marriage, children, circle of friends and family ties). Participants’ willingness to sacrifice achievement goals for a romantic relationship was also examined.
Overall both college men and women showed strong desires for individual achievement and relational intimacy. As expected, self-focus was linked to the importance of achieving, such as having a successful career. Focus on others was related to the importance of having meaningful relationships and making a contribution to society.
Unexpectedly however, men were more likely than women to give priority to a romantic relationship when asked to choose between a relationship and their career, education and traveling.
The authors suggest that college women in this study may have been strongly committed to working towards a successful career and therefore hesitant to abandon their goals for a romantic relationship. In contrast to women, men also appear to derive more emotional support from their opposite-sex relationships than their same-sex friendships.
The paper will be published in the next issue of the Springer journal, Gender Issues.
Reference Mosher C, Danoff-Burg S (2007). College Students’ Life Priorities: The Influence of Gender and Gender-linked Personality Traits. Gender Issues, Vol. 24, No. 2. (DOI 10.1007/s12147-007-9002-z)
Note: This story has been adapted from a news release issued by Springer.
thats what they tell women
Don’t I know it. :-(
I put happiness above all else. If romance brings happiness then...
The problem is, women choose success over romance...or they choose romance as a means to success.
So where does that leave men?
No, in that case the headline would read “Men Choose Romance Without Success.”
whipped
“Men Choose Romance Over Success”
two things to remember:
“Good looks don’t last, good cookin’ does.”
“Grasshopper, happiness is a shockingly large retirement fund.”
I’ll settle for either....
...Men would rather get laid then work hard?
No matter how old you are, you’ll always get hungry.
Well ain’t that a catch-22. You ain’t gettin’ no romance unless you have some degree of success.
No success...no romance. This is in the Woman’s Rulebook of Ballbusting, Title IX Section E Paragraph 134.
...from the psychology department...
I do not believe this for one second; unless they really are not sucess oriented.
If a woman chooses success, she’s called selfish and accused of neglecting her family.
If she chooses romance, she’s called a lazy gold-digger.
So where does that leave women?
I’ll just go with success in the name of providing for a family. I’m not going to be a victim.
(again the only woman on a FRGender thread?)
Regardless: Don't Come Drinking With Loving On Your Mind
Stupid romantic me, I chose the woman and son option and lost my job. A couple of months later, they, too, were gone.
Life has been a series of major life changes since that decision, some good, even great, but some really, really bad. So much for the road less traveled.
Moral of the story? A woman is much easier to find than a great job doing what you love with people you've come to know as family.
Erase gender and a female president is ok.
Reverse gender and a female president is ok.
Hammer away at the female is weak stereotype and a female president is ok.
Make males look more effeminate and a female president is ok.
Hit piece for pondering ignoramuses.
Exactly. This is a biased sample to begin with chosen to provide the results the researchers intended when they set up their "study".
All men are always looking for a little romance, especially when we are liquored up a little. We are a gender that truly desires intimacy with women.
Instead of intimacy, I have found women to be more concerned about impersonal things, like knowing your real name, or your actual phone number.
Men: we are the ones that truly desire closeness.
You’re right.
Now that we see eye to eye, lets get married. I’ll sacrifice. Then you won’t be accused of being a gold digger.
I wonder if the results would be the same if they studied Premed, Engineering, and Science Majors, rather than Psychology Majors. I doubt it.
LOL
well how about that
Depends on who it is. If it's some woman who simply believes it's smart to "marry up," she's not. If she's (the late) Anna Nicole Smith marrying some wealthy old geezer, then she is.
I don’t believe this for a New York Minute! My husband has become “richer” each and every year since he married me.
Proverbs 31:10-23
Rubies Rock! :)
The study is fatally skewed. Probably only kind, sensitive guys answered the questionnaire. By definition, those who were selfish or busy preparing for their big career wouldn’t have taken the time to participate.
Women like us kick @ss! We don’t need to explain ourselves, because We Rock!
“I’ll just go with success in the name of providing for a family. I’m not going to be a victim.”
I’m not getting all “churchy” on ya, but read this for proof that you are on the right path.
Proverbs 31:10-23
...and Freepmail rabidralph. She needs help in destroying a Vick Bobblehead Doll in a most spectacular fashion. ;)
from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
The fools.
A successful man is one who can earn more than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
hmmm...Hubby and I are closing in on six years of marriage. This year, without a doubt, has been the happiest and most satisfying year we have been together. Basically, we have learned how to best nurture our marriage together.
Interestingly enough, this year has been Hubby’s most successful year in his career. I believe that his having a secure, peaceful, supportive home environment has been a huge factor in his success.
I wonder how they defined romance? If they mean a case of beer and the whole day watching foot ball games with your main squeeze, then I agree. But if not, well, then we have it will have to discuss this issue after I get back from the business trip.
Exactly. This is a biased sample to begin with
The age group also skews the priorities.
College-age women who have not yet been in the workplace full-time have an unrealistically glamorous view of what their future careers will be like. Interview these same women at age 30, and if they're still single, many will long for family.
College-age men have who have not yet been in a long-term relationship have an unrealistic view of romance. Interview these same men at age 30, and if their romance has blossomed into a family, they're going to be obsessed with making sure the family is provided with a nice house, good schools and all the other necessities of life.
Oh no, God help us.
No real men anymore, I knew it!
This article has a misleading idea of success.
I grew up in a semi-stable house. My Mom and Dad got along alright. When they were getting along great life was great. Now all of this was going on while my Dad went from one dead-end job to the next.
When I graduated from High School I had a two-fold goal. Marry the woman who I could love for my entire life. In this ‘romantic’ relationship I would seek to be the best Dad and husband I could be so I could provide the most peaceful environment for my children. The second goal was to get a stable job with some degree of stability.
Now, according to this article, and some people here I have chosen romance over success. This is because I have not pursued College degrees or advancement in the company for which I work, because it takes too much time away from my family. While financially or business wise I would not be placed in the ‘successful’ column, family wise I am bathing in success.
I have three beautiful healthy children whom I get far more satisfaction out of watching their sporting events or camping out with or just joking around the dinner table with then ANY carreer position could possibly give me.
I need only look at my own brother and his wife. They chose to not have children in their quest for financial success. They have acchieved financial success. He runs his own computor business from home (Masters degree). She works for a large fortune 500 company as a tax lawyer. They can and do travel where-ever they want. They can buy whatever they want. They will probably retire early as millionaires, but they have no one to pass on all of their life lessons to.
If that’s how people define success, you can have it. Give me a 30 year mortgage, no new cars off of the lot, vacations limited to local tourist traps, and constant carpooling of kids to events anyday. I have met my goal of having kids and raising them in a secure environment. That, to me, is a far greater success then any job could EVER give.
Sincerely
Did someone say romance above career?
I know I did.
While that person’s career has always involved screwing people, I wouldn’t call that romance.
Scubie
Rungs on a ladder?
I am very happy for you.
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