Yeah, I was...ah...studying the poor. That's it! I was studying the poor...so...I..could... become poor myself! Yeah, that's the ticket...I want to be poor!
Posted on 06/03/2007 7:28:35 PM PDT by Congressman Billybob
This is my first complete column about John Edwards. I hope it’ll also be the last. The bottom line for us in North Carolina is quite clear. Edwards didn’t run for reelection to the Senate because if he had, he would have lost.
That ought to tell folks elsewhere in the nation something useful. Why should anyone take him seriously for President, or even Vice President, when those who know him best – in his own state – don’t take him seriously as a mere Senator?
Plus there are more immediate defects in the Edwards campaign this time around. He has violated the late-night Comedy Rule. Any candidate who has done enough ludicrous things that the late-night comedians get larger laughs about them than about the current President, is electronic road kill.
Let’s review Edwards’ recent personal disasters. But first, let’s review the history of Marie Antoinette. She never said, “Let them eat cake.” She said, “Let them eat brioche,” which is actually practical and not really insulting. Yet the Queen had a reputation for being a wastrel with no sympathy for common folk.
The primary reason she was beheaded was not so much anything that she said or did, but who she married. King Louis XVI earned his beheading; his wife largely inherited hers. Not that I am suggesting John Edwards has earned beheading. The last American to face that fate from a government was Tom Paine. As a member of the French Assembly, he earned a decree of execution from Robespierre for urging mercy for the King and Queen of France. But I digress.
Let’s review what Edwards has done. He built the largest house in Orange County, North Carolina, with enough space for ten normal families in it’s 28,000 square feet. But that was before this year. The recent events get worse.
We’ll go from the ridiculous to the sublime. A $400 haircut is ridiculous. And what was his excuse? He didn’t arrange it, and he didn’t know how much it would cost.
Hey, when I walk into any establishment, I have a serious clue about the prices to be charged. A Mercedes dealership not only looks different from a Ford dealership. It even smells different. And there’s a lot less difference between those two cars, than between an honest-to-God haircut and the $400 “do” that Edwards got.
The bigger items are these: Edwards took a half-million dollar part-time job for a New York hedge fund which engaged in subprime mortgages. In the meantime, he gives speeches decrying predatory lending practices. As for why he took that job, he said he wanted to “learn about poverty.” The jokes just wrote themselves.
It’s hard to say what’s the worst mistake Edwards made. The latest one to be revealed is in the running for top of the line, or bottom of the line, depending on how you look at it. He gave a speech at U Cal. at Davis on “Poverty, the Great Moral Issue Facing America.” He got $55,000 for that speech. Students were charged $17 a ticket to hear his words of wisdom.
Lastly, Edwards created a “charity” to deal with “issues concerning poverty.” But, according to Business Week magazine, it spent 70% of its money on travel for Edwards and salaries for staffers who, in short order, joined Edwards’ new campaign.
In short, Edwards has one of the most pronounced tin ears for political reality in modern America. And no one should take this self-promoting fool seriously, given his proven incapacity.
I’ve read the polls. I know that Edwards might win in Iowa or New Hampshire, which are his targets for trying to keep his sad candidacy alive for another day. If that strategy works, I won’t see any reason to write about Edwards again. He should be dead and buried, politically, after the ad hoc national primary on 5 February. And if the ultimate Democratic nominee has the good sense to choose anyone other than Edwards for Veep, Edwards will cease to exist as a politician.
What about the people who are foolish enough to vote for Edwards in his targeted states? Well, the simple truth is that some voters, some times, are dumber than road lizards. Think about it; aren’t those the kind of voters that a candidate like Edwards deserves? Let’s just hope there aren’t too many of them.
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About the Author: John Armor practiced in the US Supreme Court for 33 years. John_Armor@aya.yale.edu He lives in the 11th District of North Carolina.
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John
I went to work for a hedge fund... so I ...umm... could study poverty!! ...yeah... thats the ticket...
Because I know all those poor people have hedge funds... or at least someone gets poor(er) in the process...
Great as usual!
I think Pretty little Pony is aging Broadway diva LOL!
The would be boy president was the commencement speaker at my graduation from UNC. I didn’t go. I also don’t contribute to the alumni fund.
Yeah, I was...ah...studying the poor. That's it! I was studying the poor...so...I..could... become poor myself! Yeah, that's the ticket...I want to be poor!
He’s just a dandy lion!
Ok, I stole that from the Wizzard of Oz!
Ah, a sunflower! Swish, sister, Swish!
stolen from an old, old Jimmie Durante movie.
Hey, let's get a reporter to go to Hillary's neighborhood. Under guard, of course.
John / Billybob
John, in another age, a writer or commentator with your ability and clarity of thought might have been a Will Rogers, or a Ronald Reagan. Some, if not most, now dismiss logic and reasoning with a snarl that passes for intelligence.
That’s a slur upon her late majesty. For shame, Congressman.
Can ANYONE explain why ANYONE would pay $17 to hear a political speech? Especially students? Was there free food & drink? Maybe a rap band as an opening act?
P.S.: I note for your benefit that I typed my preceding post with a chuckle and a grin.
You overstate the case, but I appreciate it.
John
Louis XVI was perhaps the most decent and conscientious of all the Bourbon kings, although admittedly this is not of itself saying a great deal. Marie was also, after a somewhat flighty youth (she was, after all, only sicteen on her marriage), a good decent wife, mother and Queen.
Neither deserved what happened to them, at least not when compared to the average European monarch.
Did you see Elizabeth is writing a letter to the kids.
John’s out campaigning.
And Elizabeth is writing a letter to the kids for when she’s gone based on watching the movie Terms of Endearment.
This is about the sickest freak show I’ve ever heard or seen!
KERRY VET FOR EDWARDS
Not sure exactly what KERRY VET means. Are they referring to themselves as the same sort of traitorous fraud as Hanoi John ? Or are they just saying they were stupid enough to vote for the John ticket last time and want to do it again?
And students who didn't go contributed a further $15 a ticket through their student activity fees.
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