Posted on 12/08/2006 5:48:36 AM PST by shrinkermd
COLORADO SPRINGS, COLO. — The Rev. Ted Haggard this week formally begins his long journey toward recovery from a drugs-and-gay-sex scandal that forced him to step down as one of the most influential evangelical leaders in the nation.
Haggard, 50, has turned himself over to a team of counselors who are "assessing his spiritual, emotional and mental condition," said the Rev. H.B. London, who is helping to guide Haggard through the process. London and two other pastors will then set out a rigorous "restoration plan" requiring Haggard to spend hours each week in counseling, Bible study, prayer and soul-baring talks — by phone or in person — with his mentors.
The team's first task will be to push Haggard to acknowledge any addictions and come to an honest understanding of his sexuality. "Ted is not in touch with reality," said the Rev. Mark Cowart, a friend. The mentors can confront Haggard or rebuke him forcefully; they may also ask him to submit to a polygraph test.
"Ted says he's not a homosexual," said the Rev. Mike Ware, a good friend. "The restoration team wants experts to evaluate that."
Haggard's high-profile ministry collapsed last month after a male prostitute went on talk radio to allege that the pastor regularly paid him for sex over the last three years. Mike Jones — who advertised in gay publications as a masseur — also said he had seen Haggard take methamphetamine.
Haggard denied the accusations. But when Jones produced two voice-mail messages from Haggard, the pastor said he had hired the prostitute for a massage and had purchased meth, only to throw it away. In a letter to his congregation, Haggard admitted that he had succumbed to "desires that were contrary to everything I believe and teach."
(Excerpt) Read more at latimes.com ...
I hesitate to say anything, but I am going to anyway.
The biggest problem the “helpers” in this instance will have is their ignorance of the problem. Like most people they may forgive but they do not understand. This man from his perspective quite probably does not believe he is a homosexual.
This comes from something more than denial. He does not understand what he does as well.
The issue is that male “homosexuality” is not a unified, single concept. Among the ways to look at it is to determine whether a person is an “object” homosexual or a “subject homosexual.
Object homosexuals have a strong male identification but have as a preferred love object other males. Quite often they are labeled as “bisexuals” since they are quite capable and often do have sexual experiences with women, marry and have children. They sodomize but ordinarily are not sodomized. Think Gore Vidal. In fact, if you are going to counsel such a person you must read what Gore Vidal says about himself and his plight. In any case, many very masculine men are “homosexuals” and they can be found in the clergy, sports and the military as well as very definite masculine occupations. Object homosexuality is also common in Black men and especially when they are in prison. Invariably the Black object homosexual will deny the deviancy just like Reverend Haggard does.
Subject homosexualshave a strong feminine identification. These are the people ordinarily seen by others as “homosexuals” and this includes most object homosexuals. These individuals are frequently denigrated, shunned and ridiculed. Think____________. I won’t give a name since I don’t want to give anyone a sh*t label they have to live with above and beyond the inner turmoil and suffering they undergo (whether they admit it or not). Reverend Haggard is unlikely to be a “subject homosexual.”
Now both subject and object homosexuals fall on a continuum and there are many other types and aspects of homosexuality that need understanding before one counsels such individuals. Not the least of which is the frequent occurrence of compulsivity, the blending continuum for not only subject vs. object but also for homosexuality and heterosexuality per se and so on and so on.
To summarize, Reverend Haggard from his perspective will not see himself as homosexual for the reasons given. This is one problem.
We have the knowledge of good and evil. We choose and can choose but we often fail to see our underlying identification and commitment that really determines our goals and behaviors. IMHO when all is said and done, Reverend Haggard’s problem will center more on success addiction than sexual addiction. Exploring and understanding this usually permits profound change in many aspects of life—including sexuality. If I were the pastors in this case I would call in Chuck Colson. He is a good example of someone who confronted some how and in some way “bourgeois success addiction” and grew both personally and spiritually.
Good post. Thanks.
Reverend Haggard (and other in recovery)---GO AWAY
Another hero in the making. I for one am sick of the dysfunctional/diseased/disordered whathaveyou being raised on pedestals. Hundreds of millions the world over conduct their lives without all this upset and no one regards them with any special dignity!!!!
http://www.biblebelievers.com/Morton_legalism-liberty.html
Something I recently read that pertains to church leader both large and small.
Who cares what he "is". He's a human, a fallen, sinful, human, just like every ONE of us. He has unnatural desires, and he succumbed to them, just as ALL of us do.
He needs to learn how to overcome the lusts, the temptations, the desire to sin that he has. It has little to do with "acknowledging" some label -- he's a sinner, and that's all he needs to acknowledge.
You can "overcome" sin, by the power of the Holy Spirit working in your life. You will still sin, but it will not have dominion over you.
His "plight" is no different than the plight of any heterosexual man who desires to have sex with any half-decent looking woman they meet. You can have the desire, but you don't have to fulfill that desire. Just say no to sin.
And when you fall, when you say YES to sin instead of know, it makes no difference WHAT that sin was, whether it was sleeping with a guy, or sleeping with a girl, or stealing money, or cutting off the driver in the next car, or driving drunk, or taking drugs, or sleeping through church, or using God's name as a curse, or any other sin you can think of.
It's all sin, and it all requires repentance, reflection, and the work of the spirit to heal and prevent.
I happen to think that homosexual sex acts are not more prevalent mostly because of simple peer pressure -- that for most men, the sexual gratification of an act really is not limited to the attractiveness of the one performing the act.
Put a bag on a man's head and they won't know WHO is giving them oral sex, and they will enjoy it. How many clearly heterosexual men have had satisfying relationships with a woman only to THEN find that the woman was really a cross-dressing man, or had a sex-change operation? Most men are taught to hate the idea of another man touching them, but if you took that away, a lot of heterosexual men would give in to the lust of the flesh with other men, and I think we are beginning to see that. The sex in prison is simply the most obvious example of it.
But its the SAME as the cultural breakdown that allows men to have sex with a lot more women, to cheat on their wives, etc. That used to also be something that most men didn't do openly because of peer pressure, but now a lot of that pressure is gone and we have more people NOT married than married as a result.
The problem isn't "homosexuality", it's a complete moral breakdown and a lack of self-control and the abandonment of the CONCEPT of "things you just shouldn't do".
There's something very disturbing about this "restoration" process. I hope Haggard come to peace with himself. Whatever the outcome, he's done as a leader in his church.
Sounds pretty much like the muslim distinction between "pitching" and "catching". Under their law, pitching is OK, but catching is evil.
All these mega-church super Christian types leave me cold. I am a believer in salvation through Jesus Christ, but all they ever seem to preach is prosperity through Jesus Christ.
Do you have any references for lay people which might help further understanding?
Dear Dr. Compassion,
Did you even read the article? The reason he's in the paper is that he was the president of the National Assosication of Evangelicals and the pastor of a mega church. If he were one of hundreds of millions conducting his life in anonymity, like the rest of us do, this story would have simply been a blip on the radar screens of his immediate circle of family and friends.
The article states:
Since his public confession, Haggard has secluded himself with his wife, Gayle, and their five children.
He's not being put on a pedestal, he got knocked off one ... loosing his church and his reputation. Now, perhaps, he can deal with his formerly hidden emotional and spiritual brokenness.
In a very real sense his exposure was the mercy of God to him.
Show Ted Haggard a way back to the money.
Butt, butt, what can I do to get my hand back in the collection plate. Got to air condition the dog house.
They are all the same. Brother loves traveling salvation show!
bump.
No, I don't have a best or perfect text or reference. Sometimes it is best to immerse yourself in a subject and print out or take notes on a variety of sources. Of course, Google is ideal for that.
What is important is to listen and see before you decide anything. Just the reverse of what many do on this subect which is to "sentence first and try later" as in Alice in Wonderland land.
Dear Spiritual Guider on High,
You may wish to delude yourself with all of your compassion, but frankly the good pastor should go "...deal with his formerly hidden emotional and spiritual brokenness" without me. Jim Baker Tammy Faye Jimmmy Swaggart----found their way back to collection plate in good order. I don't worrry about this clown either.
The "anonymous" is in A.A. for a very good reason. It is unfortunate that we, the media consuming public have a voracious appetite for this type of spectacle.
If you are a male and take another male's member into any of your body cavities, or vice versa, you are queer. Object or subject, who cares? This guy is a queer that was in the closet, got caught and is now looking for ways to cover his sorry ass.
Recovery for us "nobodies" is tough enough. I cannot imagine how the "gods" of our culture could deal with it.
part of the deflation is in being annomyous; agreed a very tough thing to do.
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