My husband and I have struggled with becoming pregnant, and when someone asks (rudely!): "Why don't you two have children yet?" it makes me want to hurt them.
People can be unintentionally cruel. Best of luck to you and your husband.
The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course It is none of my business but--" is to place a period after the word "but." Don’t use excessive force in supplying such moron with a period. Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you talked about.
--"Lazarus Long" (Robert A. Heinlein)
Rude people abound; some will hurt you out of sheer lack of manners and some get a sick thrill out of being cruel.
Mrs. Reb and I took quite a while before she 'caught' and then our only child passed away just before his fourth birthday after an extended fight with severe epilepsy. That makes it VERY uncomfortable for us when someone asks, "Do you have children?"
It's a RUDE question to ask, IMHO.....and IMHO some people should NOT have children.....and if they know that, that's great.
At a friends baby shower another guest asked me how many children I had (They were all mothers there, baby talking, you know what I mean). My reply was one word: "None".
With a slightly raised voice, enough so others could hear, she began lecturing me about the selfishness of women who do not have children, how they are denying their husbands, denying society, etc.
I let her finish her self righteous rant, then I said something close to: "My husband and I tried for years to have children and were denied that blessing. You should never assume anything. The way you misspoke can be very very hurtful to some women, but I thought it was simply hateful. You owe me an apology"
She did apologize and promised not to judge others the same way in the future
For the sake of the other people to whom these insensitive clods will target the same question, you might want to subject them to a "cure" by unhesitately telling them a LOT more than they want to know about why you don't have children yet. It's one thing to ask people IF they have children, but once having learned someone doesn't, to ask WHY is beyond the boundaries of civil discourse. If they get a lecture on blocked tubes, recurrent miscarriage, high FSH, azoospermia, failed IVF cycles, etc., they had it coming (and aren't likely to ask anyone this question ever again).
I have never met a single child woman who is not mad at her parents for that decision. Single children fear alienation.
lol. We figure we did our bit for King and Country ;)
Sometimes it just takes time.
What I find curious about both the article AND the thread is the subtle way that those women who CAN'T have children are lumped together with those who WON'T have children.
It's not even CLOSE to the same thing, even if the end result is the same. This article is about women who WON'T have children and women who CAN'T have children shouldn't have even been mentioned in it.
I chose not to seek medical help or look for a sperm donor. Nor have I made myself a mother through adoption. Instead, I've come to see myself as part of a growing phenomenon -- one to which people often don't know how to respond.
Now is this a heckuva attempt at rationalization or what?
I guess I fit myself into the "They're selfish" box. I think it's too bad their mothers didn't take the easy way out that they've chosen.