Posted on 11/03/2006 8:19:41 PM PST by Flavius
Actor and martial artist Chuck Norris (L) and fellow actor Marshall Teague inspect a 155mm M-109 A6 Paladin howitzer that has Norris' name stencilled on the barrel during a stop on a USO-sponsored tour to boost morale of U.S. troops, at Camp Ar Ramadi in Iraq November 2, 2006. Norris and Teague met with thousands of service members, shaking hands, taking photos and signing autographs in a week-long tour of Iraq and Kuwait. Picture taken on November 2, 2006.
Top Nuck Chorris Facts
1. Nuck Chorris is faster than the speed of sound and quieter than the speed of light!
2. Nuck Chorris is 100% American, except the part that is Mr. Universe.
3. Nuck Chorris is all things to all people, and nothing to some.
4. When Nuck Chorris thinks of an abstract concept, it becomes concrete.
5. Nuck Chorris is a paradox wrapped inside an enigma wrapped inside a moldy seven layer burrito!
Of course the Universe is expanding, it's trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris won Jumanji without ever saying the word. He simply beat the living sh1t out of everything that was thrown at him and the game forfeited.
Chuck Norris actually trained a bit under Bruce Lee, is that correct?
Chuck Norris can eat a Rubix Cube and poop it out fully solved...
omg lmao!
Good on Chuck!
We need more of this - one way to get some good press for our troops
Jack Bauer would kick Norris' a**
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't pluck up the courage to tell him
~snicker
Better take that back soon, or Chuck will take notice
NEW: I added 18 new Chuck Norris facts below...in bold
Chuck Norris facts are becoming quite popular these days. Here are just a few gems:
1. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
3. Chuck Norris sent a picture of himself in the crouched position to the IRS. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes...EVER
4. Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.
5. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
6. Chuck Norris uses pepper spray as eye drops.
7. Chuck Norris wasn't born. He punched his way out of the womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
8. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
9. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
10. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from certain death.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't use spellcheck. If he happens to misspell a word, he changes the actual spelling of it.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
13. Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pees.
14. When Chuck Norris jumps into the water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norrised.
15. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
16. Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.
17. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS, but gives it to people anyway.
18. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC for the show Law and Order, claiming the stole the names of his right and left leg.
19. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
20. Chuck Norris defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you.re still alive, it.s because Chuck Norris loves you.
21. There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
22. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
23. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever gotten.
24. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
25. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
26. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
27. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.
28. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
29. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
30. When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
31. When a tsunami happens, it.s because Chuck Norris has been swimming laps in the ocean.
32. Chuck Norris poops light sabers.
33. Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw. But he holds it backwards.
34. Chuck Norris likes his coffee like he likes his women: ground up, packed in a burlap sack, and thrown over the back of a donkey.
35. Chuck Norris.s belly button is actually a power outlet.
36. Camels have a hump because Chuck Norris needed a place to store his kills.
37. Chuck Norris has a beautiful singing voice. Unfortunately, the sound of it would melt the average human brain.
38. Chuck Norris has a pet kitten - every night for a snack.
39. On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
40. Outer space exists because it.s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
41. Chuck Norris graduated from school with a degree in Chuck Norris.
42. Our founding fathers originally decreed a strict separation between Chuck Norris and state. Chuck Norris eliminated them.
43. Chuck Norris uses staples as hair gel.
44. Chuck Norris doesn.t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
45. Time waits for no man, unless that man is Chuck Norris.
46. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
47. Chuck Norris puts the laughter in Manslaughter!
My hubby actually worked last year with a stunt man who works sometimes as Chuck Norris' stunt double...the stunt man was doing work on the Katrina recovery, as an information officer of all things.
Strange world....
LOL!
There used to be a 4th planet between Mars and Jupiter.... until it got in Chuck Norris' way. We now call it the asteroid belt.
Y'know, I never really paid any attention to Chuck Norris until hubby and I started watching "Walker, Texas Ranger" reruns on a couple of the cable channels. Now I'm hooked.
Is the "flash arrestor" (sorry, don't know correct term) on the barrel of that artillery piece eroded or cracked away on the near side?
Mr. Norris is a super guy. And down to earth.Love these threads.
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