Posted on 10/31/2006 5:24:23 PM PST by tang-soo
The Honorable Paul S. Sarbanes
Senate Office Building
309 Hart, Washington DC, 20510
Dear Senator Sarbanes,
As a native Marylander and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.
My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen To illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years.
I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.
Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local Emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year. Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.
Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become an illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.
Your Loyal Constituent,
*****
Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service
1-800-***-1040.
If you can let me know. Having all these pesky laws to deal with really sucks.
Bump.
Bookmark bump.
We still get to vote in those states that don't have checks at the polling stations too, right? Man, what a deal. Just paid my quarterlies and it was well over two grand.
Great post! I'd like to sign up also. I could use the tax cut. :-)
btw - congrats on your 5 years with TBDBITL! Go Buckeyes.
bump
This letter needs to go to every member of Congress ASAP.
LOL, thats a good one!
Finally affordable health insurance, my favorite.
Sign me up too!!! Hey, let's all sign up! Let the Libs pay the taxes! LOL
I agree. This letters should be sent at least to all those corrupt and/or mentally ill senators who voted for the bill.
Not a bad plan actually....if you have fairly dark skin.
precious....
It would be worth becoming a citizen of Mexico, and then sneaking back.
Good for him. I know you must be a proud father! Legend has it that it is not just "anybody" who gets into the OSU band, you've got to be very good! OSU is probably the only thing I miss being down here in the deep south. You can keep the cold weather. ;-)
great idea free food stamps , medical care ,no car ,insuance,probaly could get SSI. lay around the house ,go fishing every day , if I needed some extra cash rob a 7/11 plead I didn/t know any better, when I got caught could make up some langage that no one could tranlate and would be home free
Where do I sign up ?
excellent! bump
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