Posted on 08/17/2006 7:44:39 PM PDT by Marius3188
A family today told how they returned from a weekend away to find their house had been trashed by a berserk squirrel.
Retired engineer Alan White, 67, and his wife Janice, 65, came home to find their lounge had been ransacked, causing thousands of pounds of damage.
The couple initially feared burglars had broken into their home in Cheltenham, Gloucestershire, but the culprit was found to be a squirrel which had left sooty paw prints all over the room.
Desperate to escape
The trapped rodent had tried chewing through the window frames and tore the curtain and settee to shreds in a desperate bid to escape.
Mr White said he and his wife had been away with grandson Shaun, 13, to the International Balloon Fiesta in Bristol and were greeted by the scene of carnage when they arrived back.
He said: "We came home to the house and entered our lounge. We noticed that the fireguard had been knocked on to the carpet and there were coals on the floor.
"Then we noticed that the wooden window frame had been gnawed extensively - most of it was gone.
"There were pot plants and ornaments strewn across the room and we immediately thought someone had broken in. But my wife pointed out that the doors were still locked."
The couple's son, Shaun, 38, found the lifeless body of the squirrel behind the settee.
Damage
Mr White said: "Once we realised that we looked more carefully for damage and saw the settee, which was quite a nice one, had been ripped and gnawed.
"Of course, the squirrel had been covered in soot falling down the chimney and everything, even the light on the ceiling, had been covered with soot by him.
"The curtains on both sides of the window had been torn to shreds and he had torn a big hole in the carpet."
Mr White said the squirrel had even tried to chew its way through the aluminum frame of the patio doors.
The family are counting their blessings that the lounge doors were closed, preventing the trapped creature from running amok around their entire house.
The couple have been in contact with their insurance firm about the damage, and the lounge will have to be completely redecorated after the squirrel's rampage.
Mr White said he was now thinking about getting a chimney cowl fitted.
Unusual
An RSPCA spokesman said the incident was very unusual.
He said: "We've heard of birds getting into houses but never a squirrel getting down a chimney.
"It's unfortunate for the family - and the squirrel."
I hate the press, again. Seems pretty rational for a squirrel to try get the hell out.
I would have preferred if they would have told me what type of squirrel it was instead of a subjective description.
LMAO....
Where's Ray Stevens when you need him???
Is Ray Stevens visiting the UK?
Artist: Ray Stevens
Song: Missippi Squirel Revival
VERSE 1
Well when I was a kid I would take a trip
every Summer down to "Mississipp," to visit
my Granny and 'er "Auntie Belluam World."
I'd run barefooted all-day long, climbing
trees free as a song; One day I happened
to catch myself a squirrel.
Well I stuffed him down
in an old shoe box, and punched a couple
holes in the top; When Sunday came I snuck em'
in the Church. I sittin' way back on the very
last pew showin em' to my good buddy Hugh,
when that squirrel got loose and went totally
buzzerk.
Well what happened next is hard to tell;
some thought it was Heaven others thought
it was Hell, but the fact that something was
among was plain to see.
As the choir sang " I Surrender All", the
squirrel ran up Harv Newman's coveralls, and
Harv leaped to his feet and said something's got
a hold on me yeeeooow!
CHORUS
The day the squirrel went buzzerk in the
First Self-Righteous Church in that sleepy little
town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival
that broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews
and shoutin' "Hallelujah".
VERSE 2
Well Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'.
Some thought he had Religion others thought
he had a demon, and Harv thought he had a
weed-eater loose in his fruit-of-the-looms.
He fell to his knees to plead and beg, and the
squirrel ran out of his britchy-leg; unobserved
to the otherside of the room.
All the way down to the AMEN pew, where sat
"Sister Bertha Better-than-You", who had been
watching all of the commotion with sufistic glee.
But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes
when that squirrel jumped her garders and crossed her
thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said,"Lord have
mercy on me."
As that squirrel mad laps inside her dress she began to
cry and then to confess, to sins that would make a
sailor blush with shame. She told of gossip, and church
desention, but thing that got the most attention was when
she told of her Love Life and then she Started naming names.
CHORUS
VERSE 3
Well seven Deacons and then the Pastor got saved, and
twenty-five thousand dollars got raised, and fifty
volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot.
And even without an invitation there were at least
five hundred rededications, and we all got
rebaptized whether we needed it or not.
Now you've heard the Bible stories I guess of how he parted
the waters for Moses to pass. Oh the Miracles, God has
wraught in this old world. But the one I'll remember till my
dying day is when He put that church back on the narrow way
with a half crazed Mississippi squirrel.
CHORUS (x2)
When I was growing up I had several flying squirrels. They were awesome..Typical in the South.
It was most likely one of the American Gray Squirrels that the Limeys imported, must be our fault!
Berserk squirrel ping...
That's rich, ROFLMAO!!!
The squirrel was done in!
Notice there ain't no suspects at present..
I was thinking the same thing.
They tend to more aggressive than the British squirrel(red). However, I understand that the Brit squirrel can drink more and is alot better in soccer(football).
Wonder why the squirrel was dead.
Damn hippies.
Arkancide?
It's not dead. It's just resting.
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