[Stoat]

But it was your own doing that got you into that situation, you would need to take responsibility for your poor judgement.

When someone else intentionally misrepresents themselves, I don't see that as my own doing.  Is the liar to be completely without fault?

If so, why?

Women lie to men, do you think you should be able to kick their ass for that?

Women don't typically lie to men about their gender, I consider such a lie in a completely different category than, say, lying about how old she is or how many boyfriends she has had.  It's a question of degree, and lying about your sexual identity seems a pretty high degree of a lie to me.

[dmz]

Is the liar to be completely without fault?
_________

Not at all. But you didn't do your own due diligence. There are 2 separate issues involved. I am commenting only on one side of it, and that is the side that relates to one's libido driving their own inappropriate behavior. That part is totally under your control, and yet you want to hold the other person responsible for your poor choices.

I'm no prude, mind you (came of age in the 1970's), but have been married for 17 years and have been out of the game for a while. I think a bar pickup (not likely to encounter too many gender benders at a church social) gets you what you want/deserve: getting your rocks off. You aren't eligible for a do-over after the fact. And you certainly cannot blame the other party for your lousy judgement.

[ichabod1]

Women don't typically lie to men about their gender,

In a conversation with a female friend of mine, years ago, she related that once, in order to cool a male's ardor, she had quietly whispered in his ear "I was a man once."