'Cannibal' raider bites pieces from pensioner

Daily Mail ^ | July 5 | BRENDAN MONTAGUE

[Bushwacker777]

"A pensioner was brutally attacked in his home by a 'crazed cannibal' who ate his thumb and bit chunks from his face and body, it emerged last night.

Douglas Morgan, 75, is recovering in hospital with his wife Valerie at his bedside after the apparently random and vicious attack which left him unconscious and covered in blood.

The elderly couple were getting ready for bed when they heard a someone climbing through a window they had left open in the heat-wave. Mr Morgan went downstairs to investigate. "

[Mr. Brightside]

So what's eating you?

[FormerACLUmember]

In other news, Mike Tyson has been observed putting on weight.

[reagan_fanatic]

I hope he was a proper host and put out some fava beans and a nice chianti.

[ExcursionGuy84]

Maybe the Brady Campaign should turn their focus from firearms to teeth now. [sarcasm off]

[jazusamo]

A bit of a mess, it was.

[yayforlater]

They're coming for you Barbara.

[MD_Willington_1976]

It's the UK, surprised the cannibal was not let go, and the pensioners charged with not accepting the cannibals lifestyle choices...

[Tulsa Brian]

Just when you thought it couldn't get any sicker...

[xJones]

At least the Slovakian attacker had the decency not to use a gun.

Something has to be done, though, about attacks using dangerous foreign-born teeth. (Native British teeth couldn't pose threat to anyone but the owner.)

[GovernmentShrinker]

From My Cold Dead Jaw!

[lesser_satan]

Bizarre story of the day ping.

[holymoly]

And while we're on the topic of cannibals...

Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A: Because they taste funny.

[Larry Lucido]

There are three cannibals and three missionaries on one side of the river. There is only one canoe which will hold at most two people at a time. When the canoe is taken across the river, at least one person must bring it back in order for the others to cross.

You must get all the cannibals and all the missionaries across the river, but at no time can the cannibals outnumber the missionaries on either side of the river. It is okay for the missionaries to out number the cannibals at any time.

[lesser_satan]

http://www.learn4good.com/games/puzzle/boat.htm

[battlegearboat]

The lack of proper table manners was appalling.

Thank God Emily Post is not alive to learn of this.

[Lazamataz]

"A pensioner was brutally attacked in his home by a 'crazed cannibal' who ate his thumb and bit chunks from his face and body, it emerged last night.

The judge says I don't have to talk about this until the trial.

[pabianice]

[Doc91678]

Must have been a hungry Democrat on the attack. They're noted for eating their own.

[MissAmericanPie]

This is really going to hurt the tourist industry to beautiful scenic Slovakia. I think that's where they filmed the movie, "Hostel".

[RepoGirl]

He ate the guy's thumb and part of his face. I'm curious, since this was the UK, what his sides were? A tin of beans and a can of Fosters? Chips and Irn Bru? Or the old cannibalism favorite: fava beans and the nice chianti?

[RichInOC]

Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

Because there are some things that even cannibals are scared to eat.

[ExcursionGuy84]

From My Cold Dead Jaw!

What? You mean you're "undead"?

[lesser_satan]

I'd go with the former, as this guy doesn't sound like a sophisticated, Hannibal-Lecter-type psycho.