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Posted on 05/30/2006 6:39:34 PM PDT by fanfan
I presume — but could be wrong — that city Coun. Alex Cullen wears deodorant, maybe even aftershave, maybe even cologne, but he’s scaring me.
If Cullen gets his way, watch out for signs on the outside walls of all city buildings saying: “No Smelling Nice Within Five Metres of Building.” And: “B.O. Preferred and Acceptable Inside.”
Cullen’s giving voice to the city’s latest MAJOR MUST-TACKLE ISSUE that keeps city taxpayers awake all night, fretting. People who use deodorants, perfumes, colognes, aftershaves, and sundry sweet-smelling scents: Council is going to debate whether the fragrances should be banned from city facilities including OC and Para Transpo buses, and light rail, due to the massive health crisis of citizens allergic to the things that make people smell nice.
It must be really terrible because the Sun’s Derek Puddicombe quotes Cullen as saying there are people “who become disabled because of these fragrances.”
Disabled? You’re kidding. When I hear the word “disabled” I envision twisted ankles and broken arms and other bodily impairments. I honestly did not know that among those people I’ve seen staggering out of bars, their legs not working, were some, maybe a lot, who weren’t the victims of too many bottles of Molson Ex, but too many inhalations of Drakkar Noir.
From now on when I hear an ambulance siren, I’ll be thinking it could be someone felled in the street or on a bus by one whiff too many of Old Spice, Mennen Speed Stick, Shalamar or Stetson.
Nose struck gold
As my civic duty, I went to city hall and — at great potential risk to my health — set my nose loose, imagining the building must be a cauldron of the sweet smells that have Cullen and Co. so ready to take action. People were coming in and out of the foyer, some milling about, and I walked around, sniffing, and didn’t smell anything sweet, and I sniffed harder, and still didn’t.
It wasn’t until I went into the small cafe off the foyer and ordered a coffee and sat down that my nose struck gold.
Well, I don’t know if gold is the right word. My nose picked up from a guy at the next table the strong, indisputable scent of underarm B.O.
You want to talk about developing an allergy to a scent? ARRRRRGH. I think I prefer the scents of Drakkar Noir, Old Spice, Mennen Speed Stick, Shalamar, and Stetson. I think I’d rather work in a building or be on a bus where people favour sweet-smelling scents to the natural fragrances of smelly armpits or smelly feet.
I think I’d like to tell Cullen and Co. — and all the anti-scent crusaders who are allergic to that which makes the human body smell nice — too bad, tough, I sympathize, but you must pay this price for the populace not evolving into the reek of decaying rodents.
I spoke to Harold and Lynne Trottier on the sidewalk outside city hall.
‘Ridiculous’
They’d been in to discuss a water bill. He’s 68, she’s 64.
“For God’s sake, is that what we pay them to do?” asked Lynne. “It’s ridiculous. There’s no way I’m going to stop wearing perfume on city properties. Even if I worked in one. I used to take the bus, and eccch, there were some awfully stinky people who needed a dose of perfume or cologne.”“
Harold: “The thing is, the human body smells. That’s why we take baths and showers.”
Lynne: “It’s why they invented soap.”
Harold: “Some people need a lot of cologne or deodorant or what have you. They need more than other people because, the way they’re made, they just have a tendency to smell more. They can’t help it. So, how’s the city going to arbitrarily decide what’s the right amount of scents to wear and what isn’t? They talk about educating the public first. They’re the ones who need an education in common sense.”
He caught the irony: “S-e-n-s-e,” he spelled.
Lynne: “I suppose the city will also ban flowers in all its parks? After all, there are people who are allergic to certain flowers that smell nice.”
Five years ago, OC Transpo buses had signs saying: Busology No. 11. Parfumus Overloadus. When working on your presentability, please use your scents with sensibility. Accompanied by a photo of a guy with a clothespin on his nose, making a face. Some buses still have the signs.
In this age of body piercings and tattoos, I suggest decorative, designer, nose clothespins for Cullen and Co. and all the anti-scent crusaders.
Letters to the editor should be sent to feedback@ott.sunpub.com.
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I hope voters are listening to Lowell Green.
Bringing the cities to form a bigger one was Harris biggest mistake.
they came for the smokers and got them..NOW I wanna see all those who fought against smokers but wear perfume fight this..after all, if not smoking was good for everyone, outlawing bad perfume is also good for everyone..
it's called "project creep" in the corporate world..as long as we're doing A, we should do B, and since we're going to do B, we can do C..translation: as long as we've outlawed smoking (A), we can now stop fragrances (B), and as long as we're outlawing (A) and (B) we can now outlaw (C - whatever that will be)..
Apple pie smell the best!
Are these people for real?
They need to replace Lowell with 'Nick at night'.
He's very good, and very conservative.
He's got great values.
Have you listened to him?
Alex Cullen.
Google it.
Blech!
I have to wear n95 and r95 masks for chemically triggered asthma sometimes because of those scents, but I'm not asking for people to give them up...but if I hadn't discovered masking, I don't know what I would have done.
And this crap is coming from a country, where the city of Toronto imports 100% of it's garbage to Wayne County-Michigan.
That's exactly what it is!
Busy bodies.
They've always been around. It's just that they have never had this much power before, unless I was just not seeing it.
Nah!
;-)
I like broccoli.
:-)
;-)
I also like foods that smell, like peanut butter. And I know some very nice people that smell bad. Some BO some bad perfume. Just because you buy it in a bottle doesn't mean it don't stink.
There are times I would rather smell BO than walk down the air freshener aisle at the grocery store...But what works best is changing one's clothes often enough and wearing undershirts. And avoiding synthetic fibers, which hold scent longer.
Of course knowing that, and convincing other people of that are two different things...
I think the person who wrote this article truly doesn't understand how disabling these scents are when one has a reaction to them. I get terrible headaches from perfumes, scented deodorants, etc. which makes it difficult to do much of anything when I have them. But I agree with you that just because they affect *me* that way doesn't mean they should be outlawed for everyone else. But this guy doesn't have a clue when it comes to understanding the effects of synthetic scents for some people.
LOL!
See you tomorrow.
:-)
Yes and they are in power all over the West
I do too.
It's chicken that I want to ban. I know it's unAmerican of me but I hate it.
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