Posted on 03/31/2006 5:51:19 PM PST by Aliska
Actually there is now no real need to wire $$$$ for airline tickets. If you use a Western airline e-tickets are readily available and are easily used in Russia (I've traveled on e-tickets in Russia several times). Plus, Aeroflot is supposed to have e-ticketing available by this summer. That would be the ultimate in "calling her bluff" get her the ticket and not the money. Having said that, it'd be a waste of money if she doesn't get a visa. As it stands now, it's extremely difficult for a girl without means to receive a tourist visa. If she could qualify for a tourist visa she wouldn't need the $$$ for the ticket.
Personally, I couldn't even imagine traveling to Russia to meet a girl you met via the net, or however, without knowing the language and the culture. While there are some things we are very similiar there are numerous quite large cultural differences. The path to the heart of a Russian girl is tricky, and trickier if you don't understand their language or culture.
Plus, there are safety implications as well. Not too long ago an Australian guy traveled to Moscow to meet his "fiancee." She met him at Sheremetevo Airport in Moscow. They checked in at the Shere-I Airport Hotel, got in an argument (started purposely by her). She storms out of the hotel. He's p.o.-d and lonely so he goes to the bar. At the bar he's befriended by two "lovely" Russian ladies. They drink heavily, the girls suggest they go to his room to drink some more. He agrees. The next thing you know, he's being tied to a chair and two guys are let in to beat and rob him. Which they do. He then topples over in the chair and has a heart attack and dies. Since it was a foreigner the Russian police do a pretty thorough investigation. They look at the security tapes. It leads them to the women and the guys. Oh, big surprise coming up - the women were friends of this guy's "fiance" and one of the guys was the boyfriend of the "fiance." All for a lousy $500 or so.
At least 50, that I've carried on correspondence with. There's probably a couple that were real, that stopped correspondence within a couple of emails. There are 2 that I've had long correspondence with that I believe were real.
One didn't like written correspondence and eventually only wanted to talk on the phone. But the time difference made that inconvenient. Plus it was hard to understand her. At least in person there are other clues to help you understand what the person says.
The second one I'm still communicating with. The tone of the letters is dramatically different from the scammers. She responds to almost everything I put in my letters and her letters feel written just for me. But even still, I'm a little skeptical. It's always possible she's a really good scammer who is willing to invest inordinate time in her craft. But I really don't think so. Nevertheless, I continue to scrutinize her letters for red flags.
And the U.S. Embassy says it will confirm wether a visa has been issued for the girl. Although I haven't tried that, so I don't know how quick they are. But I would never buy a ticket without confirming the visa issuance first.
It's worth some time to read the US Embassy's website about dating scams and Russian marriage.
Usually I get a response that she can only be sure of getting the visa through the travel agent that she makes the reservation through. Which I suspect is not true and just an excuse to continue trying to perpetrate the scam. I simply don't agree, and insist that she not incur any expense because I won't reimburse her.
Then one of two things happen. Either she claims to have incurred the travel expense and says I promised to help, which I didn't. She provides no proof and again wants me to send money via Western Union. And says her travel agent won't accept funds any other way. And I point out that she looks just like the scam that the scam sites warn about. And I tell her I'm sorry for her loss but that it's her own fault because I told her
Or she claims to have gotten the money herself and that I don't need to worry about anything. She writes in two weeks that she has obtained the visa. Then she travels to Moscow for the last leg of the journey where she is told that she needs $500 to $1500 of "pocket money" instantly identifying her as a scam.
Or for some reason is $500 short because the travel to Moscow was more expensive than she thought. In this case I found her a ticket that was $300 cheaper. She testily insisted that I send the $200 over Western Union and that there was no where else she could get $200 even if I agreed to reimburse her once she was here and proved to be real. But then that's the one I offered to have my friend in the Moscow police department come by and meet her. She took the 5 day train back to her village and was never heard from again. And now thanks to Romanov I know why. Nah, she was a scammer.
There is a dentist here in Nashville who travels to Russia to help arrange romances. I don't know what he charges, but a friend of mine knows him.
I thought if I ever went to Russia I would try to hire him to go with me. Or someone similar.
I've read the whole thread. It seems to be that the son's real problem is that he has been dumped by a beautiful woman and now wants another one. Looks seem to be items 1,2&3 on his agenda. I'm surprised he has any money left if there were kids involved.
I'm leary of just about all internet dating sites. I know some mean well but most are just interested in churning money and don't care how they do it. The foreign ones would be even dicier, particularly if you are dealing with a language barrier. Translation programs only take you so far. English is just too complex a language to be easily translated.
Nonetheless, I have traded e-mails with a few Russian and Ukranian women. DannyTN and Romanov offer great advice. I would add one other thing. In correspondence, watch for signs that reflect on the letters he has sent to her. If it's a scammer, it will be mostly about *her* (in very kind terms, of course) without ever discussing him or anything in *his* life. I tell them about my pet parrot and have sent a picture of the parrot and I. The good ones later ask me about my bird which shows me they actually remembered what I've put in my e-mails.
One college student near the Ural mountains mentioned her birthday coming up so I got her address and sent her a gift. She sent back an e-mail of her wearing the gift. It is things like that which show a genuine interest and a willingness to share something in common.
I have a prepaid IDT phone card I use to call to Russia. It is very inexpensive to call but the time difference is practically 12 hours so if it is 10 a.m. here, it will be around 10 p.m. there.
My point is that there are ways to separate the scammers from the honest girls but it takes some personal time and effort to find them. E-mails and phone calls are a good way to correspond while you get to know each other but watch out for the red flags.
You're a good mother to watch out for your son. A lot of women would figure a man that age deserves what he gets.
That is almost a requirement BTW. It is almost literally impossible to get a visitor's visa for a young russian women unless she is already quite wealthy.
Also the requirements for a fiance or wife visa REQUIRE you to visit her face to face before you can even apply.
Just thought you might like to know.
Did you do you search in Russian using cyrillic?
If it's not myspace.com it's NOT legit
"I should have thought about that after my ex and I divorced. I still had her credit card and I was still listed on it untill I cancelled it. She could have bought me a new wife. lmao"
That would have been sweeeeet.
Mark
Yes, it's a wonder, but he does. I worry about it and told him he shouldn't live so high on he hog. He may one day have to learn the hard way. I hope not. He's paying over $1000 a month in child support payments and my grandson won't be 18 until 2016. That is a long time.
I'm leary of just about all internet dating sites, make that all. The odds are that sometimes people can connect, but it likes a casino where the cards are really stacked against you.
I am, too, and wouldn't use one. If I can't meet someone in the normal course of my life, discussing my interests, I don't need them.
I've enjoyed a couple of penpals, wouldn't mind a Russian one my age, but am not interested in romance any more. I don't seem to connect with folks like I did earlier on, but that's probably because I've become jaded and people don't generally have time for internet chatting, especially men, many my age who still have jobs (and sometimes wives, have to be careful there). I also avoid chat rooms like the plague.
This is definitely all about her, I don't trust translation programs; they can offer the gist of what is being said but some critical nuances and idioms can be lost.
Few people do any more. They say look in church. That doesn't usually work very well unless someone knows someone and introduces you or you meet at a wedding :-).
You thinking is fairly sound; you've covered as many bases as you can think of. The percentage I read for foreign divorces was higher than 60%, more like 80% or so. I know some people have found true happiness with foreign brides, but then we can't followup down the line.
It's really not good to be a single looking for a mate in these times. I hope you find someone right for you.
I don't know what percentage of Russians can speak English. I've met a few on the net, but they could be exceptions.
No I've already found four men who got burned/disillusioned (if they were legit) in English. How many do I need? My Russian is at the kindergarten level. I Russified my old computer and then discovered the keyboard was laid out so differently it would have been worse than hunt and peck. I gave up.
I wouldn't know where to start on this computer. I've forgotten most that I knew and could never spell those words. The bl's and b's and long words just did me in. I can make myself undestood in French but not so in Russian. If I had more use for it, I'd work on it some more as I really wanted to learn it, but there's no sense in learning it if you don't use it.
I might figure out how to do a search in cyrillic just for fun if I can find a font and the right encoding. I think they are built in on windows xp, maybe not.
The best I can do is sound out words like a little kid as I do know the alphabet and the sounds generally and a few words; some are based on English through common usage, most not.
Well, thank you and to the other person who echoed the same sentiment (have a headache at this point) and it's past morning now.
It's a total fluke I got in the loop on this one. Normally I don't know much about his activities because he's so busy with his life and I really don't see him too often.
I've learned through some of this that he has an inferiority complex (runs in the family) and doesn't pick the best girls. Once in awhile he meets one that I think sounds hopeful. Then his ex keys their car or picks a fight with them or otherwise tries to sabotage it. Finally she had to do jail time. Now that she has a new boyfriend, maybe she will leave him alone. I'm not sure that he doesn't do things to provoke it. It's ok for her to play around, but everytime he has tried to start a new life, she wants to come back and try again. He had to kick her out last time because he doesn't want to live that way any more, but I still think he has feelings for her and I don't honestly know if he will ever get past it.
I finally did with mine, but it took several years. Romance on the rebound is THE worst.
Sorry if I missed anyone here, didn't expect to wake up to all the nice responses today.
I've seriously wondered if she's fit to handle those two boys, but I stay out of it. I fear that as they go along in school, their family situation might work against them. I had enough trouble with people wanting their kids to be friends with my kids, and I never shacked up. How many decent people are going to want their kids to be friends with the boys with her living with a guy so much younger? Things are different now. I can't worry about it.
Well, if you are interested there is something called the Yawerty keyboard layout that reloads the Cyrillic keys to their closest phonetic equivalent in english letters. There are about 4 keys you have to learn differerntly but it's easy enough to really pick up.
Yawerty keyboard instructions, XP
This is actually how I leared to write cyrillic. Took about 2 months to fully pick up the alphabet.
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