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To: Darkwolf377
I've seen cases where someone had something admittedly horrible happen to them, but everyone went on and on about how AWFUL it was, poor dear, and you MUST talk about it, and DEAL with it, when in fact it might have been better for the victim to just get on with his or her life and not dramatize for others.

I came across something similar describing the useless or counterproductive results of psychotherapeutic efforts for survivors of mass tragedies, e.g. school shootings and the World Trade Center, because they assume everybody must have the same reaction and either responds positively or at least appreciates their psychotherapeutic efforts.

16 posted on 02/16/2006 11:25:11 PM PST by neverdem (May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows that you're dead.)
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To: neverdem
Excellent point about "everybody must have the same reaction". Just look at a death in the family, and how everyone connected to the exact same event--Uncle Joe's death--has completely different reactions due to their different emotional connections. Dad was Uncle Joe's brother so he is crushed because they were great pals, but Mom never cared for Uncle Joe's drinking around the family; young Bobby didn't really know the guy that well so he's a little bemused by this and giggles in church, while young Cindy feels sad because Uncle Joe made her laugh, etc.

People are often ashamed that they're not having the same reactions everyone else is having, like there's a normal way to respond to death, accident, tragedy. That's what TV does--people are suspicious if they don't cry enough at someone's funeral, for example.

We're all different, and we have different reactions, so we shouldn't be treated psychiatrically as if every bad thing that happens has the same precise effect on everyone. I know a Vietnam vet, now deceased, who wasn't disturbed in the least when a cop harassed him because he was involved with the police in his hometown and he let that stuff slide; I saw a Vietnam vet having to be pulled off another cop merely because the cop asked him to step outside of a homeless shelter. That's merely an illustration, but it's a pretty good one about how people have wildly different reactions. And one thing that needs to be said is that something you and I might agree is horrible sometimes, not always, is something someone else can deal with very easily, or at least deal with it better than someone else might.

18 posted on 02/16/2006 11:33:51 PM PST by Darkwolf377
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To: neverdem

Yeah, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder isn't usually contended with by psychotherapy. People suffering reactive emotional problems to past traumatic events such as the ones you describe (including wars and other violent crimes and such) don't usually respond to a psychoanalytical approach but best to behavioral therapy.


19 posted on 02/17/2006 1:07:47 AM PST by MillerCreek
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