It would take a real stupid drunk not to realize how fast a warm can of beer can be chilled by spinning it on top of a mound of ice.
I've done that before. When you need a cold beer, you need a cold beer.
We'd all be in trouble if those drunks figured out that about 10 seconds with the fire extinguisher will knock a 12 pack down close to freezing. It's expensive (if the extinguishers are yours), but it's fast.
Although I haven't engaged in a beer-bout for quite some time, I remember chilling hot ones almost instantly with a blast of propane - or anhydrous ammonia.
Better yet, back in the good ol' days, one could simply pull through the drive-up liquor store window and exchange anywhere from 1 to a truckload of warm beer for the same cold, even-up.
Egad! I'm a fossil!