Dear Kansas Teahching Proffsional, Posted on 11/18/2005 7:04:02 AM PST by Right Wing Professor
Forward By Connie Morris Dear Kansas Teahching Proffsional,
As you probibally had already herd, The Kansas Bored of Edukation has recently voted to teach alternatives to the Theory of Evoluition.
As I have said before publicly, Evoluion is an “age-old fairytale”, as opposed to Intellgient Design, which is based on faith, bible scripture, and other non-fairytales.
We are also happy to announce that, in our finite wisdom, we have also decided to redefine the word “Science” to include the comptemplation of supernatural explanations for natural phenomenon. I am so excited!
Although this will now allow Kansas Science teachers to teach Witchcraft, Satanism, VooDoo Worship, and Advanced Flat-Earth Theory, right along with our right-wing Christian views of science, we feel that we owe it to our students who would otherwise only be exposed to boring old logical and rational ways of thinking.
With that, I am happy to present to you a copy of the new “Intelligent Design Teachers Guide”. Please use it to stimulate conversation, but also feel free to branch out and encourage your students to invent intelligent design theories of their own.
This learning package was also supposed to include a Ouija Board, candles, incense, and a Magic 8 Ball, but the budget wouldn’t permit it. If I’m re-elected and not ousted by some fancy “book-learnin’ elitest, sexular-humanest”, I plege to get you those things, God willing.
We hope you make the most of this material, and support our crusade to destroy the pubic edukiton system, and to keep Kansas the laughing stock of the Nation.
Sinsurly,
Email comments to: kansasmorons@gmail.com
P.S. This is a parody for those of you who don’t get humor, sarcasm or irony.
Copyright 2005 Self-Righteous Cow Productions with help from www.kansasmorons.com
Ping for a good laugh!
I didn't find it funny at all. But since I don't live in Kansas, it doesn't matter.
This seems awfully spiteful to me. Why do a bunch of people who don't live in Kansas care in the LEAST what they teach?
You sound so smart when you scoff and ridicule.
> Why do a bunch of people who don't live in Kansas care in the LEAST what they teach?
For much the same reason why thoughtful Americans care what Pakistani madrassas teach their young-uns. Even *more* ill-educated boobs does not make the world better.
Okay, genius, if you think evolution is so scientific, explain to us why scientists have been unable to create the very simplest form of life in a laboratory -- after bringing every possible advantage to bear?
Did you know that efforts to do so have largely been abandoned after 50 years of trying? If life "happened" through random events at some point in time, why can't it be replicated?
Why are you so afraid to disclose THAT in the classrooms?
The more that people in red states see sites like these, the more they'll support the ID people, wrong or right. This isn't a thoughtful argument, it's a snotty jab at "lesser people". The only thing the website accomplished was making its creators feel superior. It certainly won't get ID out of the Kansas schools.
And "absolute zero"? What a crock! Scientists keep coming "close", but make excuses how they can never actually reach it all the way!
That Civil War is B.S. too ... I see all the reenactors trying to recreate it, but barely anyone is REALLY killed, like they say "happened" in the "real" war!
Ah. So, scientists or those who recognize the usefulness and validity of science are not supposed to have a sense fo humor. Gotcha.
In poker, one has to "ante up" to be allowed in the game.
Evolutionists say that life organized itself, somehow, through random interaction of molecules.
Seems to me that the "ante" for considering such speculation to be science is to replicate it in a lab. Shouldn't be too hard, right?
But he IS smart. He's a "professor", isn't he? So you cannot argue with him because you will always lose.
I have found that usually their "sense of humor" comes from making fun of those who don't agree with them.
Oh good, then I'll have to do it more.
The creator is a fourth-generation Kansan.
Yeah, think about that one for a minute. A "right wing professor" who believes in evolution.
If he is consistent in his belief in evolution, then he is either an aethiest or someone who has failed to reconcile his religion with his science, which of course has no need or room for a God.
And which side are the aethiests on politically? HINT: they weren't sporting "W" stickers on their cars in '04. Give this "right wing professor" time; he will eventually evolve into a left wing professor... or maybe he'll lose his wings altogether?
I know you speak from bitter experience. Just think of me roasting in Hell in the afterlife; that should cheer you up.
He's already "left wing" IMO.
I would hate that anyone would want to go to hell. But the choice is up to the individual.
That's right. Being a creationist doesn't mean you're conservative; it means you're scientifically illiterate or deluded.
If he is consistent in his belief in evolution, then he is either an aethiest or someone...
I'll give you this; you mangle the spelling of atheist worse than most creationists.
And which side are the aethiests on politically?
You think we all vote the same way?
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