If there's any paddling to be done, I'll do it.
My children's teachers are a very smart lot and have a ton of disciplinary tools and tricks that don't involve corporal punishment.
(or at least don't leave any marks!)
The heart of a child is full of iniquity. You must drive it from him using the rod of correction.
Read your Bible, it's in there.
Check your concordance. I don't have time right now.
In the future, I'll execute your kid through the parameters of the law. And, I don't own a house.