Posted on 09/06/2005 11:05:03 AM PDT by ExitPurgamentum
by Margaret Friedlander Brinig, Douglas Allen
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'These Boots are Made for Walking': Why Most Divorce Filers are Women
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Abstract: Because of the financial and social hardship faced after divorce, most people assume that generally husbands have instigated divorce since the introduction of no-fault divorce. Yet women file for divorce and are often the instigators of separation, despite a deep attachment to their children and the evidence that many divorces harm children. Furthermore, divorced women in large numbers reveal that they are happier than they were while married. They report relief and certainty that they were right in leaving their marriages. This fundamental puzzle suggests that the incentives to divorce require a reexamination, and that the forces affecting the net benefits from marriage may be quite complicated, and perhaps asymmetric between men and women. This paper considers women's filing as rational behavior, based on spouses' relative power in the marriage, their opportunities following divorce, and their anticipation of custody. |
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In other words, the male bashing continues.
I shudder to think what might happen as my generation enters middle age. I don't think our kind was prepared for relationships like marriage, what with all this MTV celebrity glitz shoved down our throats and consumed.
Every sociological malady can be traced to whether dad was at home.
Divorce merely destroys future generations.
Get a divorce, get a check.
I won't join in the male bashing here, because I made my choice and I've no one to blame but myself - however, don't assume its about money. I bought my way out of my marriage, raised two healthy kids and made a good life. The raising healthy kids and making a good life were only possible once I was out of the marriage.
There have also been shifts in the basis for marriage, namely money, power and protection which is what a man was supposed to provide while wife provided children and domestic duties. If you were a woman woe was you if you picked a bum or if your hubby ran off for his 22 year twinkie. Nowadays women do not rely upon men for the types of support that they used to and can decided to fire your ass when they see fit.
Women have also been socialized to be independant, self starters and far more self absorbed as they were before. Low self-esteem has become the biggest issue for them and tons of money are made by pushing this button. Too many women chase after ideals that single men have pursued for years and are waking up having no clue on how to manage their part of a relationship or in how to pick a mate.
Many people do not get a divorce and a check. Some of us make do with trying to raise 5 kids with under 1000 of support a month.
What's your generation?
Too many people get married for all the wrong reasons.
The best thing a man can do with a bride who wants to leave him is to open the door wide for them and say 'adios, baby!'
Of course,
the only women who don't get a divorce are the ones who have husbands who are actually afraid enough of divorce to cater to their increasing demands.
In the past 20 years I've know a lot of people in bad marriages. The guy stays because at very worst, the wife will raise his kids and it's cheaper than divorce.
The wife stays out of fear of being a failure and of loss of income.
Todays we see women with, for the most part, equal pay or higher self esteem or both. So why stay?
Most of the guys I know in bad marriages now still believe staying married is cheaper than divorce, so they never file.
But of course the women have changed significantly, so why stay?
I'm not saying this is correct, just my observations and opinion....
(A side note: My first wife and I agreed to a divorce in 1987 and she filed because in California she could claim abandonment and get a divorce for $150 if I didn't contest the judges ruling. Best $150 I ever spent...)
JMHO
Peace,
Jim
Greedy, selfish, and manipulative women--and men--probably are the ones who come out ahead. Decent people are the ones who get the short end of the stick. We will always have the fruits of original sin with us. Marriage will rarely be a bed of roses. But traditional marriage was the best way to work with these problems and still bring up children the best way possible.
What to know why divorce is so expensive?
Because it is so worth it.
No we don't. I always assumed it was women leading this category, because they're more likely to gripe if - no, when - they don't like something.
That's the spirit!
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