Posted on 08/11/2005 4:31:10 PM PDT by George Stupidnopolis
Up until a couple weeks ago, I assumed the adminstraters of the NCAA consisted of a bunch of beer-guzzling former jocks who sat around pondering earth-shattering issues such as the 25 second shot clock, the infield fly rule and the diameter of Astroturf. I should have known better. Being merely an adjunct of academia, and academia currently leaning further to the left than a two-legged dog, it only makes sense that the NCAA would include a Minority Opportunities and Interest Committee, not to mention an Executive Subcommittee on Gender and Diversity Issues. I’m sure if we search the nooks and crannies of the NCAA, we will find a Parliamentary Commission on Title IX Mandates in Regard to Transgender Athletes with Paisley Headbands.
Therefore, I now understand why the NCAA has chosen to ban college teams from post-season play if they insist on retaining nicknames, mascots, uniforms, cheerleaders or embossed foam beer coolies which display monikers deemed “hostile and abusive” to Native Americans. If your college football team was an Indian, Brave, Ute, Redman, Choctaw, Sioux, Savage, Seminole, or Illini, you are out of luck. You can either change your name or be banned from the bowl games.
Frankly, I never knew what an Illini was. As for the Seminoles, well, Florida Governor Jeb Bush has something to say about that. In brief, he thinks the NCAA should change their name to the Whining Morons.
“I think they insult these people (Native Americans) by telling them ‘No, no, you’re not smart enough to understand this. You should be feeling really horrible about this.’ It’s ridiculous,” said the Governor. “The folks that make these decisions need to get out more often.”
Florida State is suing the NCAA over this matter. They have a pretty good case, especially since the Florida Seminole tribe both likes and wants their name associated with Florida State football. The NCAA recognizes this fact, but disavows its importance by saying there were OTHER Seminole tribes who were offended. Obviously they must be referring to the legendary greater St. Louis area Seminoles, no doubt a driving force in bingo. This is a clear case of double political correctness, the first time in recent history an organization consisting of fat old white guys has told an indigenous tribe that they can’t call themselves by their tribal name. It’s the equivalent of the Elks Club telling the Black Panthers that their logo is hurting the feelings of Tiger Woods, and thus they will henceforth be known as “Up With People.”
The mastermind behind the NCAA’s decision seems to be one Walter Harrison, chair of the Executive Committee, president at the University of Hartford, and rumored to be a renowned knitter of delightfully whimsical afghans and throw rugs. “Colleges and universities may adopt any mascot they wish, as that is an institutional matter, “said Harrison, sweat allegedly beading on his forehead as he finished a particularly dangerous “knit one, purl two” maneuver possessing a 9.0 degree of difficulty. “But as a national association, we believe the mascots, nicknames or images deemed hostile or abusive in terms of race, ethnicity or national origin should not be visible at the championship events that we control.”
Indeed, gentle reader, make no mistake that we’ve got trouble. With a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Political Correctness. The NCAA is obviously striving to open wide the floodgates, starting with the ban of names deemed “hostile or abusive” to Native Americans. But such is just the beginning. The worst is yet to come.
The next target will be teams who apply their John Hancock with anthropomorphic stylings. Be assured PETA will march for the elimination of athletic squads who utilize the unlicensed image of beavers, owls, cougars, wildcats and mustangs. The glorification of violent sport via the unwarranted appropriation of the sobriquets of our animal friends will be viewed as an atrocity of epic dimensions. Lions and tigers and bear...oh my!
Abandon all hope ye who enter here, for any team name in the nation is potentially offensive to the thin-skinned minions of the PC gods. The Battling Bishops of North Carolina State might be irritating to Catholics, while the Deacons of Bloomdale College might bruise the feelings of Baptists. What is to be made of the Black Bears at the University of Maine, the Blackbirds of Long Island University, The Black Flies at College of the Atlantic and the Black Knights of West Point.? Need I point out the hostile intent and inherent disrespect for diversity exemplified in those thoughtless designations? What about the Kansas Jayhawks? Having suffered at the Yankee Jayhawker’s hands during the Civil War, Missourians will be outraged. What about the Illinois College Blue Boys? Shouldn’t the feelings of those who strongly dislike the circumspect brushstrokes of Thomas Gainsborough paintings be taken under advisement?
The Purdue Boilermakers and the Vassar College Brewers should cease and desist, as mention of their chosen handle might be all it takes to throw an AA meeting into utter chaos. As for the poor Fighting Irish, do we really want to foster the stereotype of inebriated leprechauns spoiling for fisticuffs? Do not teams such as the Flying Queens of Wayland Baptist University unwittingly imply a veiled slur against the gay population? The Muslim world likely gasps in collective shock every time the heinous Valparasio University Crusaders take the field. As for the Arkansas Tech University Wonderboys, all we can do is shake our heads in fear and shame. How dare the Wonderboys flaunt their intelligence in front all the Averageboys out there? We’re all supposed to be equal. That’s what Hillary, Kerry and Algore told us.
Of course, to combat the NCAA lunacy, the athletic departments under attack can opt for any of three choices. The first, as demonstrated by Florida State, is to sue. The second choice (and I would recommend this tactic in dealing with the United Nations as well) is to resign post haste and tell the NCAA to shove it. They should form their own organization, invite other major teams to join, and play their own championship games. As Kevin Costner taught us, “build it and they will come.” They, in this case, refers to large corporations who love to sponsor sporting events, and the TV networks hungry to fill weekend broadcast slots with deep-pocketed advertisers.
The nuclear option, my personal favorite, is that the 18 teams singled out by the NCAA should change their names to an indecipherable, unpronounceable mess of symbols, lines, squiggles and dots. This is known in chess circles as the Prince Gambit, with the result being that sports reporters, the NCAA and color commentators would be forced to refer to them as “the team formerly known as....”
Then again, for pure, in your face retribution, there is one final tactic. Florida State could change but two letters in its name and transform themselves into the “Seminals.”
Just don’t expect me to watch when they play the Trojans.
This PC crap is basically erasing all signs that America was once inhibited by natives. It's racist in itself. Here in Maine white lawyers came in and forced the State to change names of Schools, mountains, roads, rivers, lakes and yes even some towns. It cost a bundle to remake new maps. I am against this PC crap because I am a conservative and wish to conserve the heritage as much as possible of those who were here before the European.
http://jednet207.tripod.com/PoliticalNewsGroups-PC.html
Florida Seminoles are no dummies, they have an agreement with the team, they make money on the profiles of Seminoles sold on t-shirts, etc. this has been going on for years, the Natives like it and the team likes it, NCAA needs to shut up and go away, what a useless bunch of morons.
I believe you err here.
Bowl games, and the BCS, are not NCAA tournament games. They are privately funded. There is no "official" NCAA Division 1 football championship.
The NCAA ban from post season competition for Division 1 schools like Florida State and Illinois only extends to basketball, baseball, tennis, swimming, etc.
With that being said, the NCAA is a bastion of political correctness and has been for a very long time now. This move to ban "hostile and abusive" mascots has been gaining steam since the early 90's.
For the money sports like football and basketball in Division 1, they have always been a hindrance rather than a help.
PS: Love your screen name.
I say SCLAP the NCAA !!!!
Actually, it's a 30 second clock in college and a 24 second clock in the NBA, but it's a funny article anyway...
i too will sclap them. and splac them silly.
Miles Brand is an idiot.
By David Harris
Life Sports Editor
August 10, 2005
CMU is looking for clarification after the NCAA ruled that CMU, along with 17 other institutions with American Indian nicknames, were "hostile or abusive" last Friday.
An NCAA committee said any nicknames or mascots deemed "hostile or abusive" will not be allowed on uniforms or any other clothing for NCAA Tournament play starting Feb. 1.
Nor will any of the 18 schools be allowed to host an NCAA Tournament event.
"We want to know how they made the determination to why they found us to be put under this category," said Steve Smith, director of broadcast media relations.
Smith said CMU has made several strides to educate students about the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe, and the university eliminated any derogatory mascots or logos in the early 1990s.
"The term 'hostile or abusive' sounds harsh," he said.
"It shows disrespect to the Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe."
Joe Sowmick, Saginaw Chippewa Indian Tribe spokesperson, said in a statement any decision from an outside source was "unacceptable."
Herb Deromedi, athletics director, agrees with Sowmick.
"We have worked in a consistent manner to be able to show the proper respect for the nickname," he said.
[excerpt]
Now this is funny. The Florida State team formerly known as the Seminoles... LOL! First I heard of this idea, the Prince Gambit.
I am totally in favor of this. Eventually, no one will even know what a Native American Indian is so we can wipe all that history from the books (sarcasm).
It's too bad because I've never had an issue with the fighting whities in Colorado. If I were a Seminole and was able to attended a Florida State football game, I would feel proud to see that Indian come out in full gear on a horse and a spear prior to the game. It's too bad it's come to this.
The Mass Pike always has the symbol of a pilgram hat with an arrow through it. The PC crowd got rid of that too, but it was a great logo.
As a Gator, I could never bring myself to call the Seminoles anything other than the Seminoles! Or, maybe the "Semi-Knolls"! Free Shoe U should be allowed to keep the "Seminole" name.
As a male of my species, I resent the perversion of gender identity by affixing 'Lady' to any particular team name.
therefore, hereafter all tema names shall maitain gender correctness.
e.g. the The 'lady' Bulldogs shall be the Georgia Bull Bitches.
"Miles Brand is an idiot"
They kick 6 year olds out of school for a semester for pointing their index finger at another kid and saying, "Bang" how could acedemia allow an "aggresive looking figure holding a weapon in a threatening pose" be allowed. Why goodness, someone could get hurt or worse learn about violence and its uses!
You must be from a red state, the blue state people understand the finer points of the effects of imagery .....
wait a second .... that means that people emulate what they see ... which means Hollywood is causing all the violence in the streets .... which means liberals caused all of our problems ... OK, now we're back to where we started - it's the liberals fault!
Yes! That is how it struck me. I went to Marquette and they saw this coming and changed our warriors name. I look now at my son and wonder if by the time he has a son, all indian references will be removed from popular culture and we will all just forget who greeted Columbus in the new world.
Actually I think that the teams should all take on the "PC" name. It woudl be PC1, PC2, PC3 etc... Oops that wouldn't work because we'd have to skip "13" and "666"...
Well I live in Bloomington and I know all about Mr. Brand. It is not surprising the NCAA is pulling this crap under his leadership. I just hope there is enough backlash to get Mr. Brand fired (I know, a long shot). Of course I am sure they will give him a nice severence package if they did.
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