Squirrel fires regular occurrence in Canadian border town (Terrorist Suicide Squrrel Alert)

The Seattle Times ^ | Tuesday, July 19, 2005 | AP

[Cowman]

Squirrel fires regular occurrence in Canadian border town

OSOYOOS, British Columbia — Once again, a squirrel clambering onto a power line has been blamed for a brush fire in this border town north of Oroville, Wash.

Firefighters were summoned Monday after a squirrel scrambled up a Fortis Inc. utility pole, got zapped and landed in flames on some dry brush outside a fruit packing business, Fire Chief Ross Driver said.

By the time a pumper truck and a bush truck arrived, nearby residents had doused the flames.

"This identical incident has happened on the same pole one or two times a year for the past several years," Driver said.

Each time, firefighters find a dead, burned squirrel at the base of the utility pole, he said.

Driver said he didn't know what Fortis could do to prevent future squirrel-caused fires.

Copyright © 2005 The Seattle Times Company

[Cowman]

We must close the Canadian border to terrorist, turban-wearing squrrels now!

[C210N]

Why would this happen... aren't the wires insulated?

[Zacs Mom]

We need a hero to tackle this problem!



"What problem....where?"

[pikachu]

"This identical incident has happened on the same pole one or two times a year for the past several years," Driver said.

Where are the Liberals demanding to know what the pole has done to imflame these 'insurgents' and to blame Bush. /sarcasm

[mikrofon]

Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle!

[Jackknife]

Bush's fault .....

[mewzilla]

Awww. Poor thing. That happens around here quite a bit. One of them took out our transformer a couple of years back. The utility guy showed up and found the furry corpus delecti on the sidewalk right next to the pole.

[NRA1995]

..."a squirrel scrambled up a Fortis Inc. utility pole, got zapped and landed in flames on some dry brush..."

Did the squirrel scream "Allah Akbar!" as it climbed the pole?

[Cowman]

Did the squirrel scream "Allah Akbar!" as it climbed the pole?

Actually he yelled "Give Me Your Nuts Or I'll Burn Your Brush!!!"

[bjc]

Squirrel starts fire!!? Is this a sign of electrifying intelligence or shocking stupidity?

[DouglasKC]

Each time, firefighters find a dead, burned squirrel at the base of the utility pole, he said. Driver said he didn't know what Fortis could do to prevent future squirrel-caused fires.

Let's see...how about putting a barrel of water at the base of the pole for the flaming squirrels to fall into?

[bjc]

Stop!! You are about to start something that will rapidly get out of control. Do you recall the Burl Ives song: "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly..."

[Cowman]

Do you recall the Burl Ives song: "I know an old lady who swallowed a fly.

I know an old lady who swallowed a flaming, terrorist squirrel?

[Gordon Pym]

Ware being invaded by terrorist squirrels sent to burn down our fruit packing facilities. We need Pancake, The terrorist fighting bunny!!

[dfwgator]

[vox_freedom]

These squirrels are trying to kill us all!!!!
It is us versus them and we must act now to remove the terrorists within our midst.
Our battle cry: All squirrels must die.

[Cowman]

Our battle cry: All squirrels must die,

And be made into stew. (Squirrels are GOOD EATING)

[vox_freedom]

from: http://www.deadsquirrel.com/thetop10.html

THE TOP TEN
Top ten reasons why all squirrels must die

1. Squirrels are the spawn of Satan.
They live mysterious lives in the forests plotting against the rest of the world.

2. Squirrels cause millions dollars of damage to power transformers and lines every year.
They are one of the top causes of power outages and damage to very expensive equipment. They seem to be attracted to transformers and fly into them like Kamikaze pilots.

3. Squirrels have killed innocent citizens by causing car wrecks throughout the years.
How many times have innocent automobile drivers barely avoided running off the road trying to miss (or to hit) a squirrel taunting them in the middle of the road? Some are not so lucky and wreck due to these furry little beasts.

4. Squirrels do millions of dollars worth of home damage.
They are masters of break-ins destroying siding, vents, wires, etc. in the process.

5. Squirrels have no respect for privacy or property rights.
They move into attics and will not leave. They are not invited. An attic is not an oak tree, and they know this. They are too lazy to build their own homes so they try to take over someone else's. They move around in the attic at night scaring young kids and women.

6. Squirrels are notorious thieves, stealing food and property from other animals and people.
They are the most skilled thieves on the planet. They are despised by birds lovers They steal nuts from bird feeders and fruits from trees. When measures are taken to prevent them from getting the prize, they try that much harder.

7. Squirrels assault people's gardens all over the world causing millions of dollars in crop damage.
They get into people's gardens and destroy the vegetables, fruits, and flowers. They rarely even consume them, they just destroy them for the fun of it.

8. Squirrels caused the black death in Europe and currently carry numerous life threatening diseases including rabies and bubonic plague.
It is a historic fact that squirrels, as well as their brothers the rats, were one of the carriers of the black plague in the Middle Ages throughout Europe leading to the horrible end of millions.

9. Squirrels are the most reprehensible animals on the planet and will strike any other animal or human they come in contact with.
There are countless documented accounts of squirrel assaults. They antagonize people and are formidable foes. It is no accident that squirrels are portrayed in film as they are, insane little creatures that do not think anything of taking on people.

10. Squirrels terminate and castrate other squirrels.
Naturalists have discovered an alarming behavior among certain squirrels. A Male squirrel will invade the tree of an enemy squirrel and bite off the nuts of the young in the nest.

[Cowman]

I have a few comments about your interesting squirrel facts. They live mysterious lives in the forests plotting against the rest of the world.

Environmentalists have been known to do this as well. Environmentalists like the uni-bomber and Al Gore are Democrats. They are one of the top causes of power outages and damage to very expensive equipment.

Under a Democrat governor (Grey Davis) California suffered many blackouts and had much damage done to the electricity infrastructure.

Grey Davis is a Democrat. Squirrels have killed innocent citizens by causing car wrecks throughout the years..

Need I say more than Chapaquiddick and Ted Kennedy? Squirrels have no respect for privacy or property rights..

Democrats have been trying to eliminate private property rights through their Eminent Domain, Environmental and tax policies. Squirrels are notorious thieves, stealing food and property from other animals and people..

The IRS is loved and expanded by Democrats Squirrels assault people's gardens all over the world causing millions of dollars in crop damage..

The agricultural policies of Democrats do not allow individual farmers to make farm management decisions based only on what is best for their crops and land but based on what fits into the subsidy programs they are dependent on thereby influencing crop yield. Squirrels are the most reprehensible animals on the planet .

No, Hellen Thomas and Hillary Clinton are the most reprehensible and disgusting beasts on the planet and both are Democrats. Therefore Squirrels are evil and spawns of the Devil but are not nearly as bad as Democrats.

[vox_freedom]

Excellent points. I can only add that a vast majority of squirrels are, in fact, DemocRATS. They aren't just cute little animals that deserve a place in our parks or backyards or on the White House lawn.
The are destructive communist infidels.
They are rodents, AKA "rats with fluffy tails."