Dad Says He Failed As Father; Pastor Calls On Friends, Family To Celebrate Miller's Life [funeral]

KCCI-TV, Des Moines ^ | July 14, 2005

[newgeezer]

For education and discussion purposes only.

CHARLES CITY, Iowa -- The presiding pastor at Evelyn Miller's funeral Thursday said it was time to celebrate the life of the 5-year-old girl.

Video: Watch KCCI's Report

Evelyn disappeared from her home July 1. Her body was found days later in the Cedar River.

The Rev. Phil Corr tried to focus on the positives of Miller's short life. But even he acknowledged that it's very difficult when something like this happens to someone so young.

Candy necklaces greeted attendees at the front door of the First Congregational Church in Charles City. They were her favorite candy.

Evelyn played with friends, laughed and grinned like any other child.

In the church sanctuary, a tiny urn with candles behind it was surrounded by teddy bears and dozens of flower arrangements. There was also a picture of a happy, smiling girl who's now gone.

"She was so, so precious and bright. And I don't understand how someone could be so cruel and selfish to do this to so many who loved and cared for Evelyn. So much I can't even explain. She hadn't even experienced life at her age," said Noel Miller, Evelyn's mother.

Noel Miller tries to come to terms with losing her daughter, who she called Evey.

Evelyn's father didn't live at home with her, and it now haunts him that he wasn't around when she disappeared in the night.

"I hope that you understand how much I love you and how much I miss you, how much all of us love and miss you. Yet I feel as though I have failed as your father. I was not there to protect you, to keep you from harm. And I was not there in your most desperate time of need," said Andy Christie, Evelyn's father.

During the family's time of need when Evelyn disappeared, hundreds of people searched for Evelyn. Some of those same people joined Evelyn's family and friends, to remember her.

"It seems like yesterday she was in my arms and I was rocking her to sleep. Taking her first steps and telling me how much she loved me," Noel Miller said.

Previous Stories:

• July 14, 2005: Governor: DHS Responded Properly To Tips About Miller
• July 14, 2005: Family, Community Encouraged To Celebrate Miller's Life
• July 14, 2005: Miller's Funeral Takes Place Thursday
• July 13, 2005: $5,000 Reward Offered In Miller Case
• July 13, 2005: Evelyn Miller Criminal Probe Continues
• July 12, 2005: Governor Speaks About Request For Miller Case File
• July 12, 2005: Vilsack To Review Files In Miller Case
• July 12, 2005: DHS Had Contact With Evelyn Miller's Family Before Child's Death
• July 11, 2005: Miller Case Now Called Homicide
• July 11, 2005: Miller's Funeral Scheduled For Thursday
• July 10, 2005: Men Who Last Saw Miller Speak Out

Copyright 2005 by TheIowaChannel.com. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

[newgeezer]

"... I feel as though I have failed as your father. I was not there to protect you, to keep you from harm. And I was not there in your most desperate time of need," said Andy Christie, Evelyn's father.

Well said.

[Tax-chick]

You're right, Andy. You failed your child from the moment you got her 16-year-old mother pregnant, you immature, incontinent, thoughtless male.

Justice is in God's hands.

[madprof98]

Yet I feel as though I have failed as your father. I was not there to protect you, to keep you from harm. And I was not there in your most desperate time of need," said Andy Christie, Evelyn's father.

The predictable lib response: "Oh, no, Andy, don't feel bad. There was nothing you (or any of the gazillion absentee fathers like you) could have done." This, of course, is a huge lie, but it makes libs feel better about abandoning their own kids.

[jude24]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second.

He was not a custodial parent. Okay, that's lamentable, and indicative of the disturbing decline of the American family. I fully agree with you there. But I cannot agree with you blaming the girl's death on the father's absence. He was not neglectful of her, nor did he actually harm her. He just wasn't around as much as a parent should be.

This guy is blaming himself for something that is not his fault. While the breakdown in his child's family is partially his fault, his daughter's death is not. Don't let a "pro-family" agenda make you blame the father of the victim.

[bboop]

'I was not there to protect you.' He is right and he does bear responsibility in this -- and he knows it. Shasta's dad was not there to protect her, either. Non-custodial is a legal determination only, not a moral exoneration. Dads DO protect their families physically; when the parents split up, the children are left unprotected. Biology is unaffected by Political Correctness, sorry.

[newgeezer]

What Mr. Christie is quoted as having said is absolutely and undeniably true.

He was not neglectful of her, nor did he actually harm her.

I wholeheartedly disagree.

[TaxRelief]

Nearly all victims of child abductions and neglect are from dysfunctional families. This is why cases like Elizabeth Smart get so much media attention; because it is so unusual for a kid from a stable, two-parent home to be abducted.

[jude24]

"Neglect" is a legal term of art, referring to the failure of a custodial parent to provide for the health, safety, and morals of a child. Since the father here was non-custodial, by definition he could not have been neglectful.

If you want to lament that he was non-custodial, I'll join you , with the caveat that we don't know for sure that he was the one who chose to remain non-custodial. Just as possible was that the girl's mother didn't allow him to take an active role in his daughter's life. It happens, especially in this "hook-up" culture.

[madprof98]

Just as possible was that the girl's mother didn't allow him to take an active role in his daughter's life. It happens, especially in this "hook-up" culture.

Sure. Which is why it's EVIL to make babies you can't nurture and protect. Some of them end up dead. The dad should feel guilty. He set the whole chain in motion when he unzipped his pants.

[newgeezer]

"Neglect" is a legal term of art

Don't be ridiculous. No one's suggesting Christie violated civil law. But, in the practical sense of the term, he was neglectful.

Everything he said in the quote is true. It seems he understands; he 'gets' it.

[Paul_B]

> Evelyn's father didn't live at home with her, and it now haunts him that he wasn't around when she disappeared in the night.


The crime wave we're seeing against women and children in particular is part of a broad attack against the family. The weakest are the most vulnerable.

But that doesn't mean men are always to blame.

[newgeezer]

But that doesn't mean men are always to blame.

Hmm. Uh, well, okay. Er, thanks for sharing.

[tessalu]

Words, words, empty words.

[Paul_B]

You're welcome.

[SunnyUsa]

Everything he said in the quote is true. It seems he understands; he 'gets' it.

Such a sad life for this little girl. Did the mother's boyfriend show up at the funeral? Did he speak?

The biggest neglect it seems was in her home life most evident by her final night alive.

[iowamark]

See the pic at www.dmregister.com

Departure: Leaving the service are Noel Miller and her boyfriend, Casey Frederiksen. Behind them, at right, are Lindsey Christie and Andy Christie.

[newgeezer]

Tears flow at service for Evelyn; anguished parents talk of child 'so many loved'

Departure: Leaving the service are Noel Miller and her boyfriend, Casey Frederiksen. Behind them, at right, are Lindsey Christie and Andy Christie.

Someone at the Register messed up; it's supposed to be "fiance"; "boyfriend" sounds so... noncommittal.)

[SunnyUsa]

the father and his wife are dressed more appropriately for such a sad occasion.

[very disturbed in iowa]

I think this whole thing is very tragic, but I don't believe in putting the blame on the father. Maybe I am too close to this to see clearly, and maybe I know too much as it is. Its harder when you live by these people, went to school with them, and then something this drastic happens. It has sent shock waves through our whole community. I also find it hard to believe what Marilyn Dettmer says,"No one is in anymore danger than before this happened." I just read in the paper today that they found the body of a 47 year-old female in her garage in Nora Springs. I happen to live in between these towns and don't feel safe AT ALL! What is this world coming to?

[HereInTheHeartland]

They are all just kids.