Posted on 05/26/2005 6:01:33 AM PDT by crushkerry
Who is this award named for? Judge Elihu Smails, the character in the film Caddyshack who asks of the obnoxious but lovable Al Czervick (played by Rodney Dangerfield), “Good Lord, what has this buffoon done now?”
As a special tribute to Judge Smails, every week we will issue this award to the biggest buffoon of the week … the person who, through his or her actions or public statements, has made a buffoon of themselves and everyone associated with them. Please note that since we slammed John "Crushed" Kerry on a daily basis when the site name was "crushkerry", he and his family are ineligible for this prestigious award. We also ask Ankle Biters to send in your nominations (no limits, so keep them coming). All we ask is that you tell us why you’re nominating the person, and include a link to any relevant stories.
Usually, we like to stay away from the obvious choices for this prestigious award. This week offered some tempting choices, including Bill Maher, who mocked the US military and a nobody named Timothy Shortell head of Brooklyn College's Sociology's Department who compared Karl Rove to Goebbels and called religious people "moral retards".
But really, there can be seven "winners" this week, but we're going to pick one. This week's Judge Elihu Smails "Buffoon Of The Week" Award Winner is Lindsey "Judas" Graham. It could have been McCain, but he'd relish getting the award because to him any attention is good attention. And we always knew McCain was a opportunistic, egomaniacal jerk. But Graham wins the award for trying to follow in his footsteps.
The big reason Graham's the target of our ire this week is, of course, that he was a key figure in the biggest sellout since Neville Chamberlain at Munich. What makes this so galling is that Graham snatched victory from the jowls of defeat for no conceivable reason, other than to get his sorry a$$ kissed on Hardball and to be the darling of the MSM editorial page writers and columnists.
Most galling however, is that Graham unilaterally disarmed the GOP signatories to the "compromise" agreement by taking out a provision that set forth the circumstances under which the Constitutional Option would get back on the table. For a guy who often invokes his status as a lawyer (I'm one too, and trust me, it's no big deal) it's very telling that he got involved in the effort to weaken the GOP's hand even further.
Even more tortured Graham's explanation of his sellout. As he told Sean Hannity he thinks the filibuster is unconstitutional, yet he cut an unnecessary deal that keeps it in place. He also tried to justify his backstabbing by saying he wanted to "get the Senate working again" on other important legislation. Does this little sissy really think that Democrats are not going to keep saying "NO" to everything just because of this deal. If he does, he's even dumber than Lincoln Chafee or Babs Boxer.
And this isn't Graham's first betrayal to the conservative movement. The reason he wants to get Social Security back on the table is so he can his massive tax increase down our throats.
Add that to his refusal to believe that Abu Ghraib wasn't a conspiracy from on high because the pictures were "too elaborate" and voted against an article of impeachment that Clinton lied in the Paula Jones deposition because he was that all kinds of people might be tempted to lie about their sex lives in a civil case. Hmm, curious. That's all I'll say.
There's a saying that South Carolina voters should keep in mind: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." So the next time this little twerp talks about being a "conservative", as he did when he ran for office, keep these things in mind. And as The Who said "Don't Get Fooled Again".
Surely some conservative down in South Carolina is well known enough to challenge Judas Graham in a primary. Trust us, elephants don't forget, and we'll single-handedly do what we can to help anyone who runs against him. Get that campaign bank account open - we'd like to start the donations ourselves.
Thanks Lindsey. Enjoy your 30 pieces of silver - and your 15 minutes with Chris Matthews. You've certainly earned them, and a whole lot more. Like a one-way ticket to private citizenship.
Past Winners:
Chris "Capitalism Sucks, Except For Me" Martin and Cameron "I Want To Poo In The Woods" Diaz
Olympia "I'm An Ignorant Dolt" Snowe
George "My Conscience Hurts" Voinovich
Chris "We Are An Arrogant and Corrupt Party" Shays
Lawrence "The Papacy Is Irrelevant" O'Donnell
Barbara "Save the Bears - But Kill The Babies" Boxer
Giuliana "Better Red Than Dead" Srgena
Robert "GOP=Hitler" Byrd (D-KKK)
Maurice "Karl Rove Planted Those Forged Documents" Hinchey
Eason "I'll call our troops murderers, but not those that killed my girlfriend's husband" Jordan
Ward ""The 9/11 Victims Were 'Little Eichmanns'" Churchill
Barbara "It's My Party and I'll Cry If I Want To" Boxer
Jan "You Are All Stingy" Egelund
Kofi "Don't Bother the Terrorists" Annan and Dustin "Let's Smell Their A$$es" Hoffman
Walter "Rove Made the Bin Laden Tape" Cronkite and Bill "It's a Coup I Tell You" Moyers
Jimmy "The Revolutionary War Was Unnecessary" Carter
Charlie "I Voted For the Draft-Before I Voted Against It" Rangel
Joe "Allawi's a Puppet" Lockhart
Dan "What's The Forgery, Kenneth?" Rather
Chrissy "I Squat To Pee" Matthews
Bruce "I'm a Washed Up Bush Hater" Springsteen
Kendrick "Johnny Soprano" Meek
Howard "The Terror Alerts Are Political" Dean
Eddie "UN Inspectors in Florida" Bernice Johnson
Ted "I Killed a Woman Once" Kennedy
Smails Award Ping.
Congressman Billybob
or you could just go over to the other side. - Lindsey Graham
It appears that he has John Edward's hair.
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