A spanking way to be happy

This is LONDON London Cuts section ^ | 03/30/05 | By Metro

[b4its2late]

It may sound a bit kinky but everything from depression to alcoholism can be cured with a beating on the bare bottom, scientists claim.

Spanking is more effective than exercise at keeping the blues at bay, say Russian researchers who carried out tests on caning.

They recommend that people receive 30 weekly sessions of 60 of the best. High levels of pain make the body produce endorphins or 'happy chemicals' and this leads to feelings of euphoria.

Endorphins also boost the immune system, release sex hormones and reduce appetite.

Dr Sergei Speransky, who now charges patients £57 for treatment at Novosibirsk Institute of Medicine, said: 'The treatment works. I'm not sadistic, at least not in the classical sense, but I do advocate caning.'

[b4its2late]

Rush touched on this.....

[RichInOC]

How about spanking monkeys...uh, and other lower primates? Will that work?

[af_vet_1981]

Dr Sergei Speransky, who now charges patients £57 for treatment at Novosibirsk Institute of Medicine, said: 'The treatment works. I'm not sadistic, at least not in the classical sense, but I do advocate caning.'

My parents' generation could have made a fortune charging less.

[thag]

Oh boy...we're 2 days early for the Official Friday Silliness Thread....and poor Thag can't help himself!!!

[MaryFromMichigan]

:)

[b4its2late]

My parents' generation could have made a fortune charging less.

You're not kidding.... LOL.

[kahoutek]

I've been looking for a business start-up.

Can you see it?

"Kahoutek's Mobile Curbside Caning...Butts 'R' Us"

"You Bare 'Em, We Beat 'Em"

"How To Feel Good in 10 Easy Strokes"

[TheBigB]

Reptile-worthy, sez I!

PING to the REPUBKLICAN PARTY REPTILE ping list! What is the Republican Party Reptile? It is a creature of the eighties. It’s neoconservatism with its pants down around its ankles, the Rehnquist Supreme Court on drugs, a disco Hobbes living without shame or federally mandated safety regulations. The Republican Party Reptile supports a strong defense policy, but sees no reason to conduct it while sober. The RPR believes in minimum government interference in private affairs—unless the government brings over extra girls and some ice. In short, the RPR is the new label that our political spectrum has been crying out for—the conservative with a sense of humor and a healthy dose of depravity.

[thag]

"How To Feel Good in 10 Easy Strokes"

OK, you now owe me for a monitor and a keyboard...Dang...that burned!

[teenyelliott]

spank. Errr, I mean ping.

[TXBSAFH]

My dad could have made a fortune, he would give my brother and myself pops for the slightest reason.

[teenyelliott]

High levels of pain make the body produce endorphins or 'happy chemicals' and this leads to feelings of euphoria.

Then why wasn't I euphoric when I gave birth to three children???

[antiRepublicrat]

So the S&M crowd was on to something all along...

[philman_36]

It may sound a bit kinky but everything from depression to alcoholism can be cured with a beating on the bare bottom, scientists claim.
They left part out! Poor research.
Russian Scientists Suggest Caning to Cure Drug Addicts
A group of Russian scientists has suggested caning as a treatment for those who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction as well as depression and suicidal tendencies, the Izvestia daily reports.
Those "scientists" recommend caning for a whole host of "ailments".
Dr Sergei Speransky, who now charges patients £57 for treatment at Novosibirsk Institute of Medicine, said: 'The treatment works. I'm not sadistic, at least not in the classical sense, but I do advocate caning.'
As I said the other day...He's not a "classic" masochist, he's a "New Age" masochist.

Note how one article has him as a sadist and the other has him as a masochist.

[kahoutek]

The doctor was supposed to spank the kids.

[b4its2late]

Then why wasn't I euphoric when I gave birth to three children???

You weren't? Heck I was...

Now, if you ask my wife, she'd probably agree with you.... ;-)

[najida]

Ah,
hmmmm,
yeah,
suuuurrrreeee.....
I can here it now "Oh darlin', feelin' a little blue? Well I've got just the remedy".

Hrmpt,
I wasn't born yesterday.

[TheBigB]

You didn't complain about it last time. ;o)

[StoneColdGOP]

"How To Feel Good in 10 Easy Strokes"

10? Bah, amateur...