[dead]

One time, we were driving back from the shore in an extremely hung over state. My friend Joe and I were in the front seat when we spotted the most messed up scraggly homeless guy ever to wear a cardboard hat hitchhiking, so we stopped to pick him up.

We rolled down our windows, then engaged the child locks so the windows in the back seat wouldn't work.

"Hop on in!" we told him, "Just wake up that guy back there and tell him to make room."

We drove that guy for twenty miles, with my hungover friend Ronnie muttering "C'mon a$$holes, open the windows! I'm gonna puke!" the whole way.

"Thanks for the ride, fellas! I think your friend here had too much to drink last night! So did I! Threw up on myself, I think."

[Feiny]

That is cruel & unusual punishment.

[Feiny]

In high school, the cops were breaking up a party. One of my girlfriends was peeing in the yard at the time & got arrested for public urination. We nick named her Squat.