Posted on 11/04/2004 1:12:04 PM PST by add925
Search Political Humor Dan Ratherisms
The Wit and Wisdom of Dan Rather
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Quotes from CBS Anchor Dan Rather on Election Night 2004 "Do you hear that knocking...President Bush's re-election is at the door."
"This race is hotter than the Devil's anvil."
"His lead is as thin as turnip soup."
"This race is humming along like Ray Charles."
"The presidential race is swinging like Count Basie."
"This race is hotter than a Times Square Rolex."
"Ohio becomes like a sauna for the two candidates. All they can do is wait and sweat."
(Excerpt) Read more at politicalhumor.about.com ...
Hey Danno, did you enjoy your last moment in the sun?
On the jimmy kimmel show last night they played a compilation of ratherisms from tuesday night. It was rather funny.
also missed "whipping him like a rented Mule".
"If frogs had side pockets they could carry sidearms, and they wouldn't be afraid of blacksnakes."
I rather like that one. Only it should be: "CBS News is as phony as a Times Square Rolex." (But accurate, of course).
I was hoping he would use that one from The Venture Bros. and say he was "working harder than a cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor."
"If you're John Kerry, your back is against the wall, you're shirttail's on fire, and the bill collector's knocking on your door."
Beautiful.
LOL!!!
Good one.
"Those exit polls were as bogus as, uh, well, nevermind."
Oh, I've been waiting for this. Thanks for posting them.
The "Count Basie" was actually a Freudien slip. He corrected himself to say something about the "swing state's count".
Steve, E.D. and Brian played it this morning on "Fox and Friends", too, but E.D. wouldn't laugh because she said it was "mean" to laugh at poor Dan.
Hey Dan - do you hear that knocking? Their coming to take you away.
LOL This was my favorite.
Didn't he also say, "just because it looks like a chicken and has wings doesn't mean it'll fly"?
I've been waiting for this, and I've been waiting for some thread about PBS election night coverage. Something about a coup, it was brought up last night on O'Reilly.
More importantly, Rather's co-workers were visibly in fear of him as the night went on. He refused to admit Bush had won Ohio, more than four hours after Fox had called it and three hours after NBC.
Ed Bradley very quietly went through the arithmetic and concluded it was over for Kerry and Rather glared at him, "Let me get this right, are you saying what I think you're saying, and you appear to be convinced of what you are saying, ..." Bradley looked at him like he was insane and went around him sideways, slowly doing the math all over again. Bob Schieffer clearly appeared to be dealing with a madman and every time Rather went to Leslie Stahl she was so nervous, she stammered time and again while trying to answer him.
It was must-see TV to watch this ideologue having to call the re-election victory of his worst enemy while his co-workers cringed in fear.
By the way, he stumbled through every one of those "Texisms." He wasn't the least bit smooth, or convincing.
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