Love your tagline.
I found a couple great quotes to apply to Mama T:
"She's a charming middle-aged lady with a face like a bucket of mud and if she has washed her hair since Coolidge's second term, I'll eat my spare tire, rim and all."
and
"From thirty feet away she looked like a lot of class. From ten feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from thirty feet away."
Raymond Chandler. :)
I may need to break my Marlowe books out of storage.
Teresa reminds me of the women I saw a lot of when I was drunk for nearly five years. They were drunk as well.