Posted on 10/13/2004 3:39:11 AM PDT by ninonitti
It's a tough decision for John Kerry [related, bio] at the debate tonight.
Which does he mention first - Vietnam, or the Red Sox?
My guess is, the Red Sox, right after he thanks the debate moderator, Bob Schieffer, whose day job is working as Dan Rather's parrot.
It doesn't matter how many times Kerry bollixes something about the Red Sox - ``Manny Ortez,'' Eddie Yost, the lame ``joke'' he tried to get off Friday night - Liveshot always circles back around to the Olde Towne Team.
His butler must have told him the team is very popular with the help.
Besides, ever since the Swift Boat Vets for Truth, Vietnam just isn't the automatic applause line it used to be. Friday night, Kerry almost forgot to mention it at all, until he found himself in the middle of his ``I was an altar boy'' peroration.
And all he said was ``the war.'' He never even dropped the V word.
In case you missed it Friday night, John Kerry has a plan.
You name the issue, he's got a plan.
And since the debate, Christopher Reeve has died, and now Kerry and his ambulance-chasing running mate have a new plan.
The new plan is to blame George Bush for killing him.
Yesterday John Edwards [related, bio] ups the ante even more. He tells a crowd that if John Kerry is elected, the lame and the halt will walk again.
Can somebody shout amen!
This, a day after Teresa Heinz, who rides around on a Gulfstream jet that sucks down 430 gallons of jet fuel an hour, denounces the ``greed of oil.''
Do you detect just a hint of desperation, a trace of flop sweat, in the Kerry campaign? And here's more evidence.
Yesterday, in the pages of John Kerry's semi-official campaign broadsheet, a letter to the editor appeared from a James D. Colt of Wenham.
He is an ex-state rep, 72 years old, and says he has ``always supported Republican state candidates.''
But guess what - the Republican Party has deserted him, or so he says, and that's the headline above the letter.
``John Kerry,'' ex-Rep. Colt writes, ``has the requisite qualities of integrity, intelligence and proven courage to be a great president.''
And Colt isn't saying that just because Kerry is his cousin.
``He's a very, very distant cousin of mine,'' Colt said yesterday. ``It's not even worth describing how we're related. He's about my sixth cousin, once removed.''
Don't you think, though, that you should have at least mentioned that in your letter, Mr. Colt?
``What difference does it make?'' he said. ``I mean, come on, my wife is my sixth cousin too. Do you think I call her my sixth cousin, or my wife?''
That would be Buffy, by the way. I'm telling you, you can't make this stuff up.
``My wife and I,'' he wrote, ``are supporting a Democrat for the first time in our lives.''
Say it ain't so, Buffy. Like Cousin John, Jim Colt ``prepped'' at St. Paul's, and like his slightly taller, younger snob relative, Colt lives in what the Globe once described as ``a mansion.''
I told Colt that people were chuckling about the fact that he never mentioned in the letter that Kerry is his cousin.
``Well,'' he said, ``let them chuckle.''
Oh, they will, all the way to Naushon Island, which, by the way, I hear is lovely this time of year. Right, Buffy?
Manny Ortiz and the rest of the Sox won't be able to help him even if they come back from last night.
I hopt the Swifties are saving their best for last. I just sent them another $200.
George Bush Killed Superman -- Edwards
George Bush invented Krypton.
Actually it was his close procximity to Kerryptonite that killed 'Superman'
Regards . . . Penny
Please. Oh, Please! Keep talking airhead.
Not to mention how much Kerry's leased campaign Boeing 757 sucks down. I mean, if his party compadre Al Gore invented the Internet, can't he just save thousands of pounds of jet fuel a day and do all his campaign appearances by webcast, if he's so concerned about oil?
}:-)4
There are times where I'm amazed that Kerry is still even in the race...
Those times are called EVERY FREAKIN' DAY!!!
Way to go, Howie! Keep it coming!
I noticed that -- and sadly, for it was such fun to snicker over!
For Howie Carr fans (and hunters), see also: SPORTSMAN JOHN (Kerry's tall tales).
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