M*A*S*H Doctor Veterans for Truth

A Large Regular ^ | 8/26/04 | Chris Lynch

[finnman69]

ANNOUNCER: Welcome to HARDBALL. Tonight we have Democratic Presidential Candidate Dr. Frank Burns and the leader of M*A*S*H Doctor Veterans for Truth - Dr. Benjamin Pierce.

CHRIS MATTHEWS: I'm Chris Matthews let's play Hardball.

MATTHEWS: This half-hour on HARDBALL, Korean Veteran Dr. Ben Pierce, Frank Burn's longtime nemesis, on his contested new book, "Frank Burns Eats Worms." Dr. Pierce is here to debate Dr. Frank Burns, the Democratic nominee for President.

Dr. Burns and Dr. Pierce served together in the same unit in Korea but while Dr. Burns returned home to a successful practice and political career - Dr. Pierce suffered a mental breakdown and is now making a living as an author attacking the beloved Frank Burns and his politics reportedly at the behest of the Republican Party.

Let me ask you gentlemen about these questions. But let's start with the central notion that a lot of us have of Frank Burns. Whatever you think of his politics, he was a war hero. Is that true?

DR. BENJAMIN "HAWKEYE" PIERCE, M*A*S*H DOCTOR VETERANS FOR TRUTH: That's not true at all.

MATTHEWS: Why isn't it true?

PIERCE: Well first off he fabricated the citation for his Purple Heart, I think conclusively, based on the documentation in my book.

[finnman69]

Pretty funny. The only sticking point is that in real life BJ Pierce is Alan Alda.

[KJacob]

Of course Frank Burns was a conservative republican and Hawkeye was a liberal democrat.

[sonsofliberty2000]

No, the best Hawkeye was Donald Sutherland. Not sure his politics, just better then Alda. Period.

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Patriot Paradox

[sonsofliberty2000]

Also Richard Hooker was a conservative, and was extremely upset with how Alda changed the focus of the premise and show.

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Patriot Paradox

[LionsDaughter]

Some of the quotes are lifted directly from the show, too. The "carry" rant, being a case-in-point.

[McGavin999]

LOL, what a riot, and so true!

[Old Sarge]

THANK YOU for the Laugh Of The Day!!!

[serpentineshel]

Unfortunately, Donald Sutherland was involved in the same anti-war group that Jane Fonda was. I believe that he even traveled with her to Vietnam. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong!

[harrycarey]

"You people make me stink!"

[sonsofliberty2000]

Probably, but heck if he wasn't funnier then Alda! Then again there are many...

Anyways, this thing is sorta skewed because Kerry would NEVER go on a show with O'Neil. He'd send Hot Lips.

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Patriot Paradox

[Bombardier]

Burns in the movie was just a Bible thumper who ended up in the sack with Hot Lips (and Sally Kellerman was WAY sexier than Loretta Swit, IMO). Burns in the movie M*A*S*H wasn't the wuss that he was in the TV series. Alan Alda's Hawkeye would have been chewed up and spit out by the Burns that Robert Duvall played, and Donald Sutherland's version of Hawkeye would likewise have chewed up and spit out Larry Linville's Burns, and would have been nailing Swit by the third episode.

I still was rolling on the floor laughing at that blog.....what a scream!!