That's because you usually don't really love the greasy nasty piggish brute.
I hope you're just making a bad joke. Of course, women who lose their husbands after many years of marriage do suffer very deeply. We love our men intensely, the more so because often we have the physical care of them--feeding them, cleaning up after them, caring for their clothes and other physical needs--and so the nurturant aspects of our emotions are engaged as well as the romantic/sexual portions.