Posted on 08/14/2004 2:51:15 AM PDT by Cannoneer No. 4
The only time my father ever opened up to me about his experience in Vietnam was when I went home to visit my parents on a three day weekend prior to my deployment to the two way live fire here in Iraq. I remember growing up, my brother and I would always rent all the cool Vietnam movies, like Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Hamburger Hill, Casualties Of War, whatever, you name em, me and my brother rented them. And we'd always try to get my father to watch them with us. But he never did. He'd watch like two seconds of it, shake his head, and say something like, "Yea right, Vietnam was nothing like that" and walk away in disgust. If there was ever even a slight hint of an anti war theme or anti Vietnam part of the movie he'd say something like, "You know, a lot of good men died in that war," and silently walk off.
One time in the car, we were having a discussion about a Washington Post article that just came out about the Strykers. I was explaining to my dad how they wrote a bunch of negative stuff about it, and they said the big threat that the Strykers would face in Iraq would be from RPG's. He told me about how one of his buddies, a good guy, got killed in Vietnam by an RPG, and there was pretty much nothing left of his body, and he had to identify the body, and the only way he knew that it was that guy was that he recognized the pen that was in his shirt pocket. He borrowed it from him earlier. He also told me a story about how an RPG almost killed him.
Whenever he's tell a story like that, he'd always cut it short, and some how I'd always subconsciously knew, by the way he cut it short and how he cut it short, that that was the end of that discussion and not to talk about it any more with him. It was just one of those things me and my brother just naturally both understood about him growing up.
In that car ride, (We were on our way to the supermarket to buy something that my mom needed for the dinner she was preparing) he also told me something that looking back, he hit it directly center mass, and he was so right about it, that its not even funny. That was when he said that; War is nothing like what you see in the movies or what you hear and read in the news, its nothing like that at all, not even close. When you go to Iraq you'll see, most of the time there you'll be bored out of your mind. You'll experience days, weeks, months, of absolutely nothing happening. You'll go through severe boredom and you'll do the same boring things over and over and over again. Then when you least expect it, all hell will happen, and when it happens, it happens. The movies and the news will make it out to be like it's a major fire fight every time you leave the wire, and its not like that at all. And he was right. Like I've said before, not every day here is all blood and guts, in fact very few days actually are here.
Today I received a sh*t load of e-mails from people telling me that I should just give up the blog, what you wrote sucked ass, your censored now and it blows, what you wrote is boring, where the f**k is all the carnage and the sting of battle that we oh so crave to read about and that you wrote about in the past? Where the f**k did all these people come from? Dig this, for those of you who have been reading this blog for awhile, you guys understand this, and that is that most days here are extremely mundane and monotonous and the days go by here like a broken record that plays the same thing over and over again. But then, all of the sudden the record will stop skipping and out of nowhere with no hint or foresight of it ever happening, the sh*t hits the fan and the music will play for a bit. That's just how it goes here. Sometimes it will be weeks apart from each other, sometimes months. You never know. And that has been, so far, what my experience here in Iraq has been like. If I never write about another g*d-damn f**king firefight, RPG attack or IED again, it will be too soon. And I really mean that.
This is how today went down, we drove around somewhere and did something, usually I'll be behind the machine gun that's mounted on the back of the vehicle when we go on rides, but I thought I'd take a break from that today. Have somebody else go up there and do that. I brought a book with me to read today. I usually can't read in a moving vehicle, I get like severe headaches, but since I've been here in Iraq, I've learned to read in a moving vehicle without getting car sickness. Today the heated discussion inside the vehicle was movies based on comic book characters. Which one sucked, and which ones didn't. Which ones should have used this actor instead of that actor, etc etc.
The dialog that goes on between soldiers in discussions like this to kill time, puts any Quinten Tarrintino movie dialog to shame.
Today in the back of the vehicle you had a guy from Michigan, Minnesota, Washington, and California. A nice mix of diversity. At one point during the ride, where we were in the middle of a heated argument over which Batman movies sucked ass and which ones didn't, the airguard (guy behind the machine gun) got hit in the face with a rock that some little Iraqi kid threw at him. We heard him jerk back down kinda from the hatch and yell a cussword at him, and then we carried on with our topic of the day. When we were done, doing whatever we were doing, we drove back to the FOB and went straight to the Chow Hall. Today I had a hamburger, a hot pocket, and a hearty side of onion rings. To hell with a nutritious diet. On the tube I watched CNN while I ate. Some sh*t about the Lacy Peterson murder. After that, we drove to the motor pool, dismounted and went to our rooms. I got out of my filthy DCU's and into some filthy PT's and went to the gym. Dumped some foot powder in my New Balance running shoes before I worked out.
Today I worked the beach muscles: Bi's and tri's. Worked out for about 45 minutes. Then I went to my room. My friend banged on my door and asked me if I wanted to go with him to dinner chow, told him I wasn't hungry. He went without me. I went to the Internet, checked my e-mails, IM'd my wife on AOL Instant messenger for a bit, was on the computer for an hour and a half, paid the guy three bucks and then went back to my room. Went over to my roomates side of the room and watched 10 minutes of a shitty western movie with him. I think it was called like Bonanza or shit like that. Teased him by cracking jokes like, "Hey does everybody in Idaho still dress like that?" (He's from Idaho) and "Don't you get homesick when you watch farm movies like this?" (I get a lot of San Fran jokes from him, so don't feel bad for him) Then went on my side of the room, wrote this blog entry, while my roommate played SO COM on his Playstation on his side of the room. We both listened to a Best Of The Doors CD on his CD player. That's how today went down. A typical day at FOB Marez.
New Additions to the FOB: They placed a mini 24 hour snack shack near our rooms. And everything is 100% free inside, sodas (or "pop" as you people in Michigan call it), muffins, Powerbars, milk, bottled water, beef jerky, and a bunch of other crap. Our units motto is "Punish the Deserving" and on the outside of the snake shack they have a sign up that says "Feed The Deserving." We also have a new mini gym located right outside our front door now, which is great for when we're on QRF. What's strange is that both buildings were built by Iraqi contractors, and they both have this really weird smell to them sometimes when you enter, its kinda like that CS chamber smell. It kinda stings your eyes. I heard a rumor that it's just how the Iraqi's build stuff, they put some weird sh*t in the wood. Who knows.
I wrote this yesterday, but didn't post it because I didn't have the heart for my wife to go through this again: I received some bad news today, again. It has to do with when I might be able to go home and be with my wife. As of right now I have no idea when I'll be able to see her again. Every time they give me a set date on when I'll be out of here, they notify me a couple weeks later that my date has been canceled. So, again, (I've lost track on how many times I've had to do this) I now have to call her up and tell her the heartbreaking bad news. I hate doing that, it's been frustrating for both of us. Shortly after I was notified of the bad news, I bumped into another soldier in my PLT who's in the same boat as me, and I asked him if he heard the news, and he said yea, and I asked him if he was upset about it and he said, "No, I'm not upset. I just feel bad for my family back home, they were all planning and expecting me to be home soon, and now I have to tell them that I'm not."Today they gave me the Frag-O that my date, as of right now is NOT canceled, and that they canceled the cancellations. But that could change at any given time. That they might cancel my once canceled but not canceled anymore, canceled date again.
posted by CBFTW at 2:25 AM
Here's my pick for best comment so far:
this we'll defend said... CB: this should cause the whiners who cry "you've changed since the Good Morning Vietnam twins started censoring you" to shut the f**k up. Great post. I remember the dumbass conversations I had as a private. Debating the best cartoon, quoting endlessly from movies, bagging on anybody for anything. Your writing never fails to amaze - you have a gift. And you make me cry... I'm going to take the kids to soccer now. ;)
And for those few knuckleheads out there who are so f'ing amazed at the reaction of his BC, or who still don't get it and think the BC or MI don't like CB for posting - "Good Morning Vietnam" was not a g__d___ documentary. Brilliant stud commanding officers who lead from the front and are intimidating as hell are standard issue. Hollywood stereotypical desk commandoes are extremely rare and always despised. The Army likes officers who shout "follow me" not "you guys go first." And soldiers are more likely to follow those they trust - like that brave lieutenant who is missing ribs because he loved his men and risked his life to save them. What is amazing is that is the infantry - that is how it is supposed to be. CB can tell you that when it is hot and miserable or cold and rainy, his leaders are there. He hasn't served for a long time, but infantry vets who have were expecting his BCs reaction and would have been surprised at anything else.
I know. I was a smartass PFC at one point, who liked to read, like to debate NCOs - but never fell out, worked like hell, and tried to be the best rifleman I could. But never a kiss-ass and I often asked my squad leader "why" or told him my opinion of what we should do (as if he gave a sh*t - he would just tell me to suck it up and quit bitching). And my squad leader in movieland would have been my "enemy" out to get the smart kid who thinks for himself and asks questions. My squad leader in real life sought to get me promoted and did. And as a 22-year old drill sergeant I occasionally argued with my company commander or battalion commander about things (always with respect) and was known to be a "trouble-maker" about anything I didn't think was in the best interests of the Army. So, they recommended me for officer training. And when I found smart kids who questioned, who did the right thing but often wanted to know why it was the right thing before they did it - I promoted them and sent some to officer training myself. Of course his BC was impressed with CB. (Don't think that means you and he will be swapping spit in the showers or that he won't stop you into the dirt if you fuck up CB. It means that he likes your writing).
It's corny, but the closest thing to reality I have seen in Hollywood is Saving Private Ryan - the scene where they try to get Ryan to leave and he says no way, I'm not leaving the only brothers I have left. Remember CB's post about the guy whose Stryker was disabled and he was trying to bum a ride back into the fight? And NCOs and officers are part of that brotherhood. You can't lead infantrymen unless you love them. And nobody would want to unless they did. His BC let CB know what he needed to avoid OPSEC, harm to families back home or his fellow soldiers, and airing dirty laundry in public in a way that would hurt the unit - not a cover-up, but concern for the unit. And concern for the unit and your brothers are what it is all about. Those living vicariously through CB (like me) should realize that he and his unit come first. He does.
4:27 AM
CB ping
May God bless you and keep you safe, each and every one.
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Damn man, I know exactly what you mean. Been there, got some t shirts, didn't get others.
The only thing I would say is that it isn't just your war. The American public doesn't do a very good job of collectively demonstrating the care, concern, and respect that we have for our miliatry service members, until it hits close to home. I hope it never hits close to home for you, other than the separation from your family and I hope that ends soon, but in reality it probably won't. I hope that's the worst that your family has to endure.
I can say though, that here in rural central Missouri, the war you are fighting is very a part of our lives and very much a part of almost every conversation. We are proud of the fact that you are kicking ass when and where needed and showing respect, restraint, and courtesy when it's appropriate ... that's what makes us different.
I've been there, and I agree, it aint like the movies. I spent 20 years shooting cannons ... a couple of shootin' wars and a couple of uprising. Severe bouts of boredom interupted by intense continous confusion ... the affects of which are still very much a part of everyday life.
Hang in there folks ... stay the course and don't get complacent.
BTW ... by far the closest I've seen on film, is Band of Brothers.
In his way, CB writes good. Compare CB to the journal John "F'n" Kerry kept, which is lousy, poorly written, and reaks like a hissy fit drama queen.
I usually don't like to see the war in Iraq compared to Vietnam - but this was well done and interesting.
Love this guy's blog! His MIB account was incredible.
Cannoneer No. 4, if you have a ping list, add me to it please.
bump
No greater truth was said (But totally incomprehensible to the lefties):
....And NCOs and officers are part of that brotherhood. You can't lead infantrymen unless you love them. And nobody would want to unless they did...
To the left it is all about poor dumb kids being manipulated and used as cannon fodder.
This post is awesome. Thank you for getting me hooked to this soldier's blog.
I recommend you go through his archives and read all his posts. Well worth your time.
Great read -- thanks for the ping.
Prayers continue for all who serve and Godspeed in your mission.
I have, his MIB and Al Queada posts are riveting. Thanks again.
bump
Keep writing ~ great stuff ~ you make a difference!
Be Ever Vigilant!
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