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Lost Fumbler (Kerry the doofus)
The Prowler ^
| August 3, 2004
| The Prowler
Posted on 08/03/2004 6:22:03 AM PDT by jslade
Washington Prowler Blocking Dummy
By The Prowler
Published 8/3/2004 12:07:10 AM
LOST FUMBLER
If John Kerry loses Michigan, he will probably blame it on his joke writers, then Woody Hayes and the mighty Ohio State Buckeyes. But he only has himself to blame. He should have used that several-decade gap between his job in Vietnam and his job of running for president boning up on his knowledge of sports. The Prowler has documented several examples thus far, and over weekend Kerry really goofed up.
To get his Ohio rallies up and rolling, Kerry used a set of jokes to open his events. In Bowling Green, his shtick went something like this:
"If you elect me and my running mate, John Edwards, we are going to give you the courageous leadership you need. We'll take the tough positions, the courageous positions, the tough stands. But there's one tough position I will not take: I am not going to choose between the Falcons and the Rockets" -- this is a local reference to the well-known rivalry between Bowling Green University and the University of Toledo.
"I will say this," he added. "There is nothing better than Buckeye football, period!"
Kerry used this set piece several times in Ohio, to great effect, never mind the waffling with the generality of "Buckeye" football. Was he talking Ohio State University specifically? Or just football in the state in general? Only Kerry knows.
But then Kerry dug a huge hole for himself. On Sunday and into Monday, Kerry hit Michigan, where he attempted to use the same Ohio jokes. Clearly, the sports humor has to be taken out of his hands before he really embarrasses himself.
"I just came here from Bowling Green," Kerry told the crowd to subdued applause. "I was smart enough not to pick a choice between the Falcons and the, well, you know, all those other teams out there. I just go for Buckeye football, that's where I'm coming from."
At that point, before all the boos began raining down upon him, Kerry seemed to realize his error. In an attempt to silent the angry crowd of University of Michigan supporters, Kerry said, "But that was while I was in Ohio. I know I'm in the state of Michigan and you got a great big M and a powerhouse of a team." Then his face, presumably, the Botox permitting, turned Big Blue.
TOPICS: Culture/Society; Politics/Elections; US: Michigan
KEYWORDS: doofus; kerry; stepsinit
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Too stupid for words.
1
posted on
08/03/2004 6:22:04 AM PDT
by
jslade
To: jslade
'I know I'm in the state of Michigan and you got a great big M and a powerhouse of a team."'
He is very observant to notice the "great big M". Therayza must be sharing her stash with him....
oh, I forgot, he is campaigning at breakneck speed and we should overlook his faux pas and mis-statements...
Release all medical records, please, Mr. Kerry.
We'll take Theraaayza's, too. Right after we get her tax records.
2
posted on
08/03/2004 6:27:23 AM PDT
by
bitt
(what a crew!)
To: jslade
If it were W, it would be the lead item on CBS/NBC/ABC/NYTIMES/CNN.
3
posted on
08/03/2004 6:27:38 AM PDT
by
The G Man
(Kerry-Edwards? They're 9/10 guys in a 9/11 world.)
To: jslade
Is it possible that the debates will be a battle of wits between Bush and an unarmed man?
4
posted on
08/03/2004 6:29:36 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: jslade
"I was smart enough not to pick a choice between the Falcons and the, well, you know, all those other teams out there. I just go for Buckeye football, that's where I'm coming from." Please keep telling us how smart you are, Senator. You're making Dan Quayle look like Albert Einstein.
Bush should run this clip every day on every Michigan sports talk station from now until November.
To: KB4W
"He is SUCH an idiot" ping
6
posted on
08/03/2004 6:38:12 AM PDT
by
arbee4bush
( I expressed myself forcefully and felt better after I did it-VP Cheney)
To: The G Man
If it were W, it would be the lead item on CBS/NBC/ABC/NYTIMES/CNN. Otherwise known as the Al Quaida press pool.
7
posted on
08/03/2004 6:42:44 AM PDT
by
talleyman
(John Kerry: Honest as a French $3 Bill.)
To: jslade
Kerry said, "But that was while I was in Ohio. I know I'm in the state of Michigan and you got a great big M and a powerhouse of a team." He's living up to his flip-flop rep!
8
posted on
08/03/2004 6:43:47 AM PDT
by
sandlady
To: jslade
Didn't he serve in Nam? Oompa Loompa!
Flip Flop Flop Flip Flippiddy Poo I have got some big lies for you Flip Flop Flop Flip Flippiddo Pee If you dumb you'll listen to me What should I get for my lies in the street I'll get stomped by an elephant's feet I served in Nam, Yes there in Viet Nam Did I say I was, a hero in Nam I hate Bush, that's how I am Flip Flop Flop Flip Flippiddy Pay If you'll follow me, we'll go no where You'll soon live under the UN Flip Flop Flop Flip Flip Flop Again Flippiddy in
CONspiracy Guy 8/3/2004
9
posted on
08/03/2004 6:46:47 AM PDT
by
Conspiracy Guy
(They are where you least expect. Look around and you'll see them too.)
To: Izzy Dunne
"Is it possible that the debates will be a battle of wits between Bush and an unarmed man?"OH, yeah!
Memo to Kerry:
Don't bring a football to a gunfight!
10
posted on
08/03/2004 6:51:25 AM PDT
by
Redbob
To: Dan from Michigan
Dan:
Something tells me you'll get a kick out of this one.
11
posted on
08/03/2004 6:52:32 AM PDT
by
Redbob
To: Conspiracy Guy
Formatting alert
Flip Flop Flop Flip Flippiddy Poo
I have got some big lies for you
Flip Flop Flop Flip Flippiddo Pee
If you dumb you'll listen to me
What should I get for my lies in the street
I'll get stomped by an elephant's feet
I served in Nam, Yes there in Viet Nam
Did I say I was, a hero in Nam
I hate Bush, that's how I am
Flip Flop Flop Flip Flippiddy Pay
If you'll follow me, we'll go no where
You'll soon live under the UN
Flip Flop Flop Flip Flip Flop Again
Flippiddy in
CONspiracy Guy 8/3/2004
12
posted on
08/03/2004 6:52:57 AM PDT
by
Conspiracy Guy
(They are where you least expect. Look around and you'll see them too.)
To: jslade
"Too stupid for words."
An act of HAIRY KERRY.
13
posted on
08/03/2004 6:56:44 AM PDT
by
labard1
To: sandlady
14
posted on
08/03/2004 7:21:50 AM PDT
by
jslade
(People who are easily offended, OFFEND ME!)
To: labard1
He is the RATS big embarrassment.
15
posted on
08/03/2004 7:23:03 AM PDT
by
jslade
(People who are easily offended, OFFEND ME!)
To: Redbob; Hillary's Lovely Legs; MetalHeadConservative35
But then Kerry dug a huge hole for himself. On Sunday and into Monday, Kerry hit Michigan, where he attempted to use the same Ohio jokes. Clearly, the sports humor has to be taken out of his hands before he really embarrasses himself. "I just came here from Bowling Green," Kerry told the crowd to subdued applause. "I was smart enough not to pick a choice between the Falcons and the, well, you know, all those other teams out there. I just go for Buckeye football, that's where I'm coming from." LOL. I'm a Spartan and not a Wolverine, but that's bad. Really bad.
16
posted on
08/03/2004 7:31:06 AM PDT
by
Dan from Michigan
("If you want a little peace, sometimes you gotta fight" - Sammy Hagar)
To: arbee4bush
WOW, one thing you DO NOT do, is flip/flop on football in Ohio/Michigan...this just isn't done. You're either a Buckeye or a Wolverine...there is no "in between"...i'm still shaking my head.
If he had said something like this in Columbus, we all know his bus would be on fire and the wheels would be up in the air. (ooohhhhh....come to Columbus again...plleeeeeeeze!!!)
17
posted on
08/03/2004 7:36:03 AM PDT
by
KB4W
(I voted for the...before I voted...against, No...wait...You mean I'm supposed to vote? JF'nK)
To: Dan from Michigan
oops, sorry dan- let me rephrase: You're either a Buckeye or a Wolverine or a Spartan (I'll never forget '98) grrrr...
18
posted on
08/03/2004 7:38:56 AM PDT
by
KB4W
(I voted for the...before I voted...against, No...wait...You mean I'm supposed to vote? JF'nK)
To: Dan from Michigan
I'm a Spartan and not a Wolverine Well, at least you're a conservative. One thing you've got going right.
19
posted on
08/03/2004 7:39:00 AM PDT
by
Fudd
(Go Bucks. Go Bush.)
To: The G Man
If it were W... Bush and the Stupid Party are "above the fray," meaning that they won't really attack Kerry.
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