Posted on 07/30/2004 7:25:22 AM PDT by gopwinsin04
In a prime time address to the Democratic National Convention and millions of Americans at home, Alexandta Kerry stepped to the microphone Thursday night with a mission: Help humanize her father, a man plagued with descriptives such as 'aloof' and 'distant.'
The younger Kerry told how, when they were youngsters, her sister Vanessa has insisted on taking her pet hampster on the family vacation.
While the family was on the dock waiting for a boat to pick them up, the family's golden retriever became tangled in its leash and bumped the hampster cage, knocking it into the water.
As the cage sank beneath the waves, Alexandra continued, her father--the future Democratic nominee for president--'grabbed an oar, fished the cage from the water, hunched over the soggy hampster and began to administer CPR.'
'There were some reports of mouth to mouth, but I admit it's probably a trick of memory', Alexandra said.
He was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived.'
(Excerpt) Read more at mercurynews.com ...
That pic reminds me of the woody allen flick where all the sperm parachuted into the unknown........:o)
ROTFLMAO!
Hamster Love
Hamster, hamster by candle light.
Do it in a casserole is doing it right.
When they're in season, they're pretty pleasin'.
Hamster sandwich, hamster and cheese.
Hamster sandwiches with mayoneeze,
are delicious, and so nutritious.
You can dice, you can slice and filet them.
Cut off their heads and sauté them.
And into the oven you shove,
smells like hamster love.
Hamster curry, or pickled toes,
Australian hamster tails, any good chef knows
how to make them, or just shake and bake them.
For breakfast, for lunch or while dining,
as a snack munch their deep-fried fur lining.
Into your mouth with a shove,
tastes like hamster love.
For breakfast, for lunch or while dining,
as a snack munch their deep-fried fur lining.
Into your mouth with a shove,
tastes like hamster love.
La-la la la-la, la-la la la.
La-la la la-la, la-la la la.
La-la la la-la, la-la la la.
La-la la la-la, la-la la la.
La-la la la-la, la-la la la.
(Copyright 2000 Big Daddy and Rhino Entertainment Company)
When she said "he was never quite right after that, but Licorice lived" I'll bet she actually meant that Lurch was never quite right after the episode, not the waterlogged hamster.
"Here I come to save the day..."
Then he played the tape of Kerrys daughter talking about how JFK saved the pet hampster. Hilarious!
What a crock !!!!!!!!
Sheesh, the whole family's looney. Is that what too much money does to people?!
I don't know, but I'd love to find out.
Kerry is starting to sound more and moore like, Baron Munchausen.
This little vignette was supposed to humanize him AND (I suppose) remind the audience that her hero father had also jumped in to save the vetnam veteran. Pathetic effort. Her only memory of her dad?
I thought it was h-a-m-s-t-e-r, not with a p...?
now you guys stop it. i'm laughing so hard i my
have an anurism.
what a hoot.
What was that pathetically, disgustingly embarassing comment Vanessa made about how her family had to take out a mortgage on their house to continue his bid for the nomination.
.
WHAT? Oh, it sucks to be you. Which house was that?
.
There was a red face and an obvious pregnant pause after that.
savingprivatehamster
I can't wait for the movie! Who's directing? Speilberg, or Michael Moore?
No, it has to be RICHARD GERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ping to the funniest thread this year!!!!!!!!!!!
CPR FOR HAMSTERS BUT ABORTION FOR HUMANS?
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