[Dubya]

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the
middle of a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from
it at night." So they created a night watchman position and
hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job
without instruction?" So they created a planning department
and hired two people, one person to write the instructions,
and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is
doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality
Control department and hired two people. One to do the
studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created the following positions: a time keeper, and
a payroll officer. They then hired two more people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of
these people?" So they created an administrative section and
hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant
Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation
for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must
cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

And that's how government works.

---

The Lord knoweth how to deliver the godly out of temptations,
and to reserve the unjust unto the day of judgment to be
punished: but chiefly them that walk after the flesh in the
lust of uncleanness, and despise government.

Presumptuous are they, selfwilled, they are not afraid to
speak evil of dignities. Whereas angels, which are greater
in power and might, bring not railing accusation against
them before the Lord.

But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and
destroyed, speak evil of the things that they understand
not; and shall utterly perish in their own corruption.
-2 Peter 2:9

[Dubya]

Please teach me, Lord ...
I want to know
Exactly how to pray.
I need some words
Which ones are right?
Please tell me what to say.

I've bowed my head
I have knelt down,
But ... should I be upright?
I've closed my eyes,
I've raised my hands,
Or ... should I fold them tight?

Do I stand up?
Should I sit down?
Dear Lord ... what do you like?
Are lights turned on
Or are they off?
Maybe ... candle light?

Wear my glasses?
Take them off?
Be at my desk or table?
Should I whisper?
Speak out loud?
Do I quote the Bible?

What do you think
About the time?
Do You prefer the dawn?
Should I pray fast,
Or keep it slow?
Better short ... or long?

I'm new at this
What are the rules?
I want to do it right.
How do I know
You'll even hear
That I am in Your sight?

And while I sat there quietly,
Waiting for some sign,
I heard a gentle voice say,
"Oh, dearest child of mine ...
Do you think I really care
About the time of day,
Or whether you are standing up,
Or kneeling when you pray?"

"I don't care about your posture,
Or about the place you choose;
Just open up your soul to me,
I have no other rules.
Tell me what is in your heart,
And tell me what you seek;
Tell me of your sorrows,
And of those things that made you weak."

"Speak to me in private
About what concerns you most;
I know about your good deeds ...
You have no need to boast.
My child, you don't need lessons,
Just talk to me each day;
Tell me anything you want, dear child,
Anyone can pray."