Skip to comments.
The Passion of the Christ: Blooper Reel
The Morning News ^
| March 2, 2004
| Paul Ford
Posted on 03/03/2004 8:14:52 AM PST by CJ Wolf
(Translated from Aramaic and Latin)
Pontius Pilate (Hristo Shopov) stands with the scourged and thorn-crowned Jesus (James Caviezel) before a throng of Jews, all of whom shout for Christ's crucifixion. Pilate has a bowl of water brought to him so he can wash his hands' of Christ's condemnation.
Assorted Jews: Crucify him!
Pontius Pilate: I am innocent of the blood of this just; [knocks over bowl of water, which spills down steps] oh, [bleep].
Jesus Christ: [smiling] Good one, Hristo.
Pilate: Nice crown, Jim.
Assorted Jews: [laughter]
Off Camera: Cut!
* * *
Christ, shackled to a stone, is being scourged by Roman soldiers. Blood runs down his gory back. His pain is palpable.
Jesus: [writhes in pain, hands shaking]
[Cell phone rings.]
Jesus: [hands shake furiously]
[Cell phone rings. Caviezel looks up, sheepish.]
Roman soldier: Jim? That you?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Cell phone rings.]
Soldier: Want me to get it?
Jesus: Yeah.
[Roman soldier gingerly reaches into Caviezel's blood-soaked loincloth, pulls out phone and opens it, then holds the phone to Caviezel's ear.]
Off Camera: [laughter]
Jesus: Hey, Mom.
* * *
The Last Supper. Jesus is in the upper room with his disciples. Judas (Luca Lionello) is seated nearby.
Jesus: If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you. If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world ah, Christ.
Judas: Hateth you.
Jesus: Who's on first, right?
Judas: [laughs]
Jesus: [rolls eyes at camera] John could write gospel, but, you know, could he write dialogue?
Off Camera: [laughter] Cut!
* * *
Jesus carries a heavy wooden cross through Jerusalem, assisted by Simon (Jarreth Merz).
Jesus: Wait a second. [puts down cross]
Off Camera: What is it?
Jesus: [wipes right eye] There's something in my eye.
Simon: Oh my God, it's a mote.
Off Camera: [laughter]
* * *
Jesus hangs on the cross, bloodied, in agony.
Take 3
Jesus: My God, my God, why hast thou; [laughing]
Off Camera: [laughter] Forsaken!
Take 4
Jesus: Thanks! Okay. My God, my God, why hast thou[starts giggling]
Off Camera: [laughter]
Take 10
Jesus: I got it. I got it. Hold on. My God, my God, why hast thou argh! [takes breath] Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Forsaken. Sabachthani, sabachthani, sabachthani. Okay.
Take 12
Jesus: Hey! I can see my house from here.
Take 14
Jesus: My God! Why have you...
[Caviezel is struck by lightning.]
Off Camera: Cut!
Take 35
Off Camera: Come on, Jim.
Jesus: [in terrible anguish] My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Off Camera: [Applause]
Off Camera: We got it!
Paul Ford lives in Brooklyn. He writes Ftrain.
|
TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: thepassion
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-60, 61-80 ... 221-239 next last
Did a search and didn't see it posted.
1
posted on
03/03/2004 8:14:52 AM PST
by
CJ Wolf
To: CJ Wolf
Not funny.
2
posted on
03/03/2004 8:17:15 AM PST
by
Psalm 73
("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is a war room".)
To: CJ Wolf
Lets you remember they were just making a movie.
I have to admit, "I can see my house from up here" is funny.
3
posted on
03/03/2004 8:17:41 AM PST
by
eyespysomething
(I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'!! Hold yer horses.)
To: eyespysomething
When I say "Lets you remember they were just making a movie."
what I mean is the movie is not to be worshipped, the true story/Jesus is.
4
posted on
03/03/2004 8:19:07 AM PST
by
eyespysomething
(I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'!! Hold yer horses.)
To: CJ Wolf
These are not real. This is an article. EXTREMELY poor tast for the writer to do this.
5
posted on
03/03/2004 8:20:22 AM PST
by
Bryan24
To: Bryan24
Looking at the original source, it seems real to me.
All movies have blooper reels. Don't confuse the movie with the bible. Don't confuse the actor for Jesus.
6
posted on
03/03/2004 8:22:08 AM PST
by
eyespysomething
(I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin'!! Hold yer horses.)
To: Psalm 73
Not funny. All movies have outtakes.
7
posted on
03/03/2004 8:22:43 AM PST
by
Alouette
(Mitul d'min kadam Shemayo malchusa v'shalim b'ammaya)
To: Psalm 73
"Not funny."
Can you possibly imagine trying to make that movie and NOT having a laugh or two?
As a previous poster said, don't mistake Jim for Jesus and a movie for scripture.
If I was making that movie I probably would have had the giggles so bad I would have gotten fired. Sometimes laughter is the best medicine.
8
posted on
03/03/2004 8:25:04 AM PST
by
BurtS188
(when you finally decide, it may be too late)
To: CJ Wolf
Funny but somehow I don't see the being on the DVD...;-)
To: Psalm 73
When I read it thinking it was real, I thought it was hysterical. But if a guy made it up, it's less so.
10
posted on
03/03/2004 8:26:15 AM PST
by
Mr. Bird
To: eyespysomething
I think it's funny - they are just human actors, despite the subject matter.
I guess it's sort of like hospital humor.
To: CJ Wolf
I'm sure Jim laughed real hard when he was hit with the whips mistakenly. This is a movie, mistakes are made, funny and not funny. Why has this movie so taken on a life of its own?
12
posted on
03/03/2004 8:26:52 AM PST
by
Hildy
To: CJ Wolf
I'm sure Jim laughed real hard when he was hit with the whips mistakenly. This is a movie, mistakes are made, funny and not funny. Why has this movie so taken on a life of its own?
13
posted on
03/03/2004 8:27:06 AM PST
by
Hildy
To: Bryan24
If Michelangelo while paiting the Sistine Chapel dropped some paint on a priest walking by, would THAT have been funny?
Fine line between reverence and irreverence when talking about humor.
Not sure where I fall on the subject...looking forward to the responses to this thread...
14
posted on
03/03/2004 8:27:15 AM PST
by
marktuoni
(This space reserved for pithy comments...as yet I have none.)
To: I still care
This had to be so intense that the humor was probably welcome. I could not imagine making this story without some sort of relief.
15
posted on
03/03/2004 8:28:10 AM PST
by
cjshapi
To: Psalm 73
Even the Christ has a sense of humor.
To: Psalm 73
Not funny. To the contrary, it's freakin' hilarious. You can climb down off your soapbox, cross, or whatever now.
I wonder if Mel has the guts to include the blooper reel on the DVD to lighten it up a bit?
17
posted on
03/03/2004 8:28:46 AM PST
by
Hank Rearden
(Never let your life be directed by people who could only get government jobs.)
To: Psalm 73
Its a movie....get over it.
To: Psalm 73
Are you kidding? Jesus hanging on the cross and says, "I can see my house from here" is hilarious. And when Jim's mom calls in the middle of the beating? Too funny!
Lighten up! Jesus was a man that people wanted to be around. People weren't always inviting him to parties because he was a wet blanket. I'll bet that Jesus's unrecorded conversations were a mixture of light hearted humor and thought provoking stories.
19
posted on
03/03/2004 8:30:15 AM PST
by
Blood of Tyrants
(Even if the government took all your earnings, you wouldn’t be, in its eyes, a slave.)
To: Alouette
"All movies have outtakes."
These are NOT outtakes, they are just a lame attempt at comedy.
Would you think a similar treatment of "Schindlers List" funny?
20
posted on
03/03/2004 8:30:53 AM PST
by
Psalm 73
("Gentlemen, you can't fight in here - this is a war room".)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-20, 21-40, 41-60, 61-80 ... 221-239 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson