ZOT!!! Life after the oil zot.

life after the oil crash.net | Last Updated: 2-8-04 | Matt Savinar, as told to Reddy Kilozot

[WinOne4TheGipper]

Time to dig up that ol' flame.

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour p!ss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you.

You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell? Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.

May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs. You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you.

You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile, one-handed, slack-jawed, drooling, meatslapper. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool.

You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid, so stupid it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me.

After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything.

Your attempt at constructing a creative post was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

[nicmarlo]

Oh, wait!! If we are ALL doing to die, who's gonna bury me????

I don't know, but all I'm worrying about now is escaping my death.....

[Dog]

I have a complaint.......why can't we toy with them before you Zot them......you always Zot them then ping us....come on I have some neat graphics just wasting away.

[Dog Gone]

Before Drake drilled the first oil well in America, the doomsayers were saying the same thing about the fuel source then in use.

Whale oil.

[nicmarlo]

patience, Dog, patience.....they'll be pahlenty more yet to toy with!! : )

[Billthedrill]

Nuclear power, of course. Only none of this namby-pamby, gummint-owns-it-all hide-it-behind-a-fence stuff. I want my own breeder in my backyard. That way we can generate all the plutonium we need to power the new millennium. No more global warming. No more dead birdies around the windmills. No more dead salmon at the dams. Just pure, safe, clean, glow-in-the-dark nookyoulur power!

[Dog]

I'm not good at that..

[Neets]

He's like a dog without a bone when the troll goes bye-bye.

[gitmo]

Civilization as we know it is coming to an end soon.

Yep. Civilization as my grandma knew it came to an end. Much better now.

[Beck_isright]

Oil, we don't neeeed no stinking oil. We got nukes! Here's one for you....

[ItsOurTimeNow]

Kilozot?

1,000 Zots! Fun for the whole family!

[bwteim]

Rats, err, I mean cats.... too late again

"This account has been banned or suspended.
Okay"

But I really appreciate zmoy's fine linking, logic, etc.

[VRWCmember]

Look at the clever troll, putting a preemptive Zot in the thread title. That will probably help him last longer, don't you think?

You Might be a Troll if ...

If that post is the best you can come up with ... you might be a troll.

If you like DU ... you might be a troll.

If you have had more than two screen names at Free Republic in one week ... you might be a troll.

If you can't remember the last time you bathed ... you might be a troll.

If you think that U.S. courts should consider the rulings and opinions of the courts of other countries rather than basing their rulings exclusively on the U.S. Constitution and the laws of the U.S. and of its several states ... you might be a troll.

If you think The Guardian is anything other than a socialist rag ... you are probably a troll.

If you think algore really won the Florida election, but the mean old US Supreme Court wouldn't allow the rules for counting ballots to be changed to your liking ... you must be a troll.

If you think the economy would be doing better if Congress hadn't passed those piddly little tax cuts ... you must be a troll.

If you think foreign policy under an algore administration or that of any of the current democrat wannabees would make us safer from attack from our enemies ... you must be a troll.

Hey troll, this viking kitty has a message for you:

[nicmarlo]

He's like a dog without a bone when the troll goes bye-bye.

poor dog....

[VRWCmember]

Well, don't I feel silly. It looks like the mods already zotted this one. I thought due to the low number of replies that it had not been zotted yet. Also, the lack of a "history" link to the original thread fooled me.

[Brett66]

Go ahead and post your graphics, I'm sure the troll won't complain......

[cavtrooper21]

Think of all the money we'll save on nightlights, bulbs and and power for reading lights, and we'll never need to buy flashlight batteries again.

Where do I sign UP!!!!

[Darksheare]

Alien Queen wishes to speak to you.
Click to hear message just for you!

[Arpege92]

"Solutions anybody, or is most of the human species to die out."

I'll let you know after I smoke a pack of cigarettes, drink a case of beer, and wolf down a couple of Big Mac's! Care to join me?

[Darksheare]

I have my own hole dug for myself, jus' need someone to push me over into it when the time comes.