Replies

This goes along the lines of not talking to strangers, but we have told our kids that adults/strangers should NOT ask for help from children. An adult/stranger shouldn't be asking for directions, for help finding their lost puppy, or for help unloading something from their vehicle. (This doesn't include our elderly neighbors. It's sometimes a difficult balancing act to include good manners with safety issues like this, but we do our best.)

For those of you with little ones, ask them what a "stranger" or "bad guy" looks like. You might be surprised by the answer. We heard things like "they look mean," "they wear black," etc. We explained that a "bad guy" will NOT want them to know he's bad, so he will act like he's very nice.

I hate that we are having to teach our kids these things, but I believe it's a necessity. My brother-in-law and I are in disagreement about it being necessary. He's a police officer in San Diego and he told me that stats show the number of abductions is actually down. I looked him right in the eye and said, "To the parents of an abducted child, those numbers mean NOTHING and your brother and I will do everything possible to help keep our kids safe." The funny thing is that our conversation took place in Venice, FL, which is very near Sarasota, when we were there this past Thanksgiving.

Mom of 2 boys here.
The oldest is almost 4 1/2.
Super friendly kinda kid who would wander off with the devil himself.
And if the "Devil" is wearing a uniform OF ANY KIND, so much the better... He once made friends with the grocery delivery guy in about 30 seconds.
I have a really hard time trying to teach him who is BAD.
As a matter of fact, I would say we have failed miserably.
I just don't think that he will ever be a kid who stops to think before he talks to people. Of course he is 4, so perhaps he will gain this skill(?) later.
We are now trying to teach him about people who ACT BADLY.

As in, never let an adult touch you if you don't know them.
And, we told him that if an adult that he doesn't know asks him for help or directions he can say, "That's stupid!" Stupid is a word he is NEVER allowed to say, so I am hoping that he will remember it. (We have practiced).

I feel the same way as another poster who said that if there is a mistake, a good adult will understand.

Anyway, the whole thing just boggles my mind. My dad laughs and says it is payback for them not being ale to teach ME about strangers...I assumed that once you knew someone's name they were NOT a stranger.

Such a tricky situation.

"To the parents of an abducted child, those numbers mean NOTHING..."

Of course, you are correct. These incidents are very rare, but so is getting hit by lightening, and you don't want to be the one that gets struck. It is also important to remember that they can happen ANYWHERE. People often think big cities are dangerous, and of course they can be. But one thing about a big city, there are a lot of people around, and certainly most of them are good people.

This article gives good advice, and I am going to print it and give it to my kid. I never really thought of the angle that normal adults wouldn't approach a kid for help, directions or whatever, but it's true. Of course, my own kid is old enough that someone might ask her for directions, but the rest of the advice is still helpful.