James Lileks: The Trouble With the Guys on the Democrats' Bench (Wicked-good!)

The Newhouse News Service ^ | January 14, 2004 | James Lileks

[quidnunc]

OK, so perhaps it won't be Howard Dean. Perhaps the day before the New Hampshire primary he'll throw himself off the stage and choke an audience member who accuses him of being too angry. The evening news might show him rhythmically squeezing some old guy's neck while shouting "I – DON'T – THINK – I'M – ANGRY – ENOUGH!"

End of campaign — unless such an outburst boosts his numbers. If the Democrats thought that this egotistical, bad-tempered, scary-eyed, say-anything guy could whomp President Bush, he'd be a shoo-in. But Dean is starting to turn off the middle that he needs to win. Perhaps they'd best look around.

So who's left?

John Edwards has snared that all-important Des Moines Register endorsement; it went straight to his head, where it probably had the place to itself. (Edwards is this election's equivalent of a Ken doll lost under the seat of the family SUV. No one notices when it's gone, and few care when it shows up again.)

-snip-

[Izzy Dunne]

By standing in the Oval Office with arms akimbo, sending out special Wes Clark Anti-Terrorism Rays.

That's enough to get my vite, right there!

[Izzy Dunne]

to get my vite

VOTE, dammit, VOTE!
There ought to be a PREVIEW button!

[cinnathepoet]

Where is kucinich???

Kucinich divine leader and master of nature

[DeFault User]

Not one word in the article on Kerry. Hmmm. Perhaps Lileks doesn't consider it sporting to kick a dead candidate.

[Redcloak]

A spel chrck bitton woold be col too.

[NorCoGOP]

(Edwards is this election's equivalent of a Ken doll lost under the seat of the family SUV. No one notices when it's gone, and few care when it shows up again.)

I think the same can be said for alGore also.

Great Lileks quote!

[.cnI redruM]

Deadwards, Clark, and Gephardt; losers - QED. Oh yeah, the author didn't even mention Kerry. Maybe I should be nice and not mention John 'Real Deal' Kerry either. Wasn't he a Vietnam Vet or something? Yep, they're trolladytic losers. Sharpton is their MOST capable leader.

[headsonpikes]

Sharpton is their MOST capable leader.

Amen, brother. If the good Reverend were the candidate, he could unite the Left by choosing Nader as his VP sidekick.

A black man running with a watermelon...the cartoonists will love it!

;^)

[Billthedrill]

Well, exactly. Dean is not only not angry enough, he's not crazy enough. Kucinich for me! He's the only one to object to the Mars mission on the grounds that nobody has asked the Martians how they feel about it.

[Wonder Warthog]

A black man running with a watermelon [Sharpton, Nader]...the cartoonists will love it!

GUFFAW!!!!!!

[elbucko]

John Edwards has snared that all-important Des Moines Register endorsement; it went straight to his head, where it probably had the place to itself.

Snicker.

[alloysteel]

It's not like the Democrats have a LOT of depth on their bench. But what they lack in quality, they make up for in quantity, and what they lack in a coherent platform, they make up for in vitriol.

Enough bombast, poured on early enough and with enough driving energy behind it, can turn elections. All the knives will be out and sharpened to the best edge that may be honed, given the questionable quality of the materials from which they are fashioned.

Unfortunately for the Democrats, they seem to have chosen to bring these knives to a gun fight. An incumbent President has ENORMOUS power.

[hometoroost]

"Well, exactly. Dean is not only not angry enough, he's not crazy enough. Kucinich for me! He's the only one to object to the Mars mission on the grounds that nobody has asked the Martians how they feel about it.

Kuchinich is against it because he wants to keep mankind off of his home planet.

[Rummyfan]

On Clark:

Best of all, he'll prevent another Sept. 11 if he's president. How? By saying so! By standing in the Oval Office with arms akimbo, sending out special Wes Clark Anti-Terrorism Rays.

I love Lileks! Check out his Daily Bleat at lileks.com if you get a chance.

[TASMANIANRED]

Are those dead chickens or did AlGore just walk by.

[BibChr]

"Wicked-good" it is. Lilecs at his best, or near-best.

[Constitution Day]

Lileks ping!

[Poohbah]

John Edwards has snared that all-important Des Moines Register endorsement; it went straight to his head, where it probably had the place to itself.

Favorite line of the piece.

[tbpiper]

Does Clark really support third-trimester abortions?

I suspect Clark doesn't even know what a third-trimester abortion is. Probably thinks it's something that happens in September.

I did like the 'a crazy but kinder Dean' descripiton.